Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

creature

The sounds keep floating to me
Keep repeating
I don’t want them to stop

I’ve been perched atop this branch for so long it’s sin.
Crow beak sturdy and bird eyes listless-
Gigantic by nature, I’m frightening all the children,
but mostly scaring myself senseless.

Held here just to be safe
“Don’t move, you’re at the right place,”
they tell me
Wish I could soar away
turn the tables
but I wouldn’t do anything anyway
Maybe shed some tears
Spit some swears

The sounds keep floating to me
Keep repeating
I don’t want them to stop

“What did you mean by that?”
I mean I’m suffocated by a sack.

Sick of the self-imposed drama
Done with the personal celebrities
Fed up with the corrosive oddity
My face is stepped on everyday

Jehovah, I feel I can’t function without you
Dedicated to worship you
Knowing your love everyday
All determined if I stay

The sounds keep floating to me
Keep repeating
I don’t want them to stop

What do I really hate?
Hypocrites - you’re no saint
Why did I have to grow
so god damn fast?
Sometimes I don’t think
I can last

Blood vessels ripping, screaming for answers
Like I’m numbing pain everyday
Feeling I’m apart of a cosmic joke
See them laughing at me
They’re all laughing at me ‘till I choke

 

Creature 

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • jessica rabbit.
    December 2, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    Bookmarked.

    Hm. To start with, I absolutely adore the second stanza. I can't give a reason why, because I can't figure out one, but I love it. I like the use of repetition, though it seems you could have used the bird metaphor in the ending lines, maybe to wrap it up a bit.

    I'm not so sure about the religious reference, if it fits or not. It seems desperate and hopeful, when the rest of the piece is more angry and apathetic. Maybe that's just me. Could be.

    All in all, though, I like it.
    Kudos.


    • Z-Brutha
      December 2, 2006
      Edit | Reply

      The bird

      Thanks sweetheart. I know why you like the stanza so much; it's all about the nature reference, haha. As far as the repeating stanza, it doesn't hold a solo meaning, I feel I'm trying to find a soothing sound amidst the mayhem that's playing in my mind. The overall meaning of the poem can be expressed by the fifth stanza, and the religious reference plays a very important part in that. As for the rest of the pieces, they should fit together more clearly. Thanks again.