I am dirty and broken,
Forsaken and torn,
Unloved and unwanted,
Wishing for more.
I’m stained with these sorrows,
That just won’t go away,
Broken like the bottle,
You tried to throw away.
Tear-stained and dirty,
Alone and afraid,
So cold that I’m dying,
Soaked in the rain.
In a puddle of sorrow,
My soul being stained,
I’m dirty, unwanted,
Cast out in the rain.
I am dirty and broken,
Forsaken and torn,
Unloved and unwanted,
You showed me more.
A contest entry
- You're AP Name - Getting to know you! by Florida Sunshine.
450 points, ended May 17, 2007, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 51 of 51
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This is amazing. I love the raw emotions and how deep this poem is.
<3 Shellsea -
Raw emotions...
I love this poem, it is ridden with deep undeniable emotions, that want to be released. It just feels that I can relate so well. Beautiful job, and please keep writing...
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wow
I'm glad I had a chance to further familiarize myself with your works, this is incredible.
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Great write. There is sooo much emotion!
Love it!
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thank you, very much
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This was great I thought. Shown a lot of emotion in this piece. Thank you for sharing. ~~Iridessa~~
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thank you
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I love this so much. To be honest it reminds me of a Puddle of Mudd song, but it's still very good.
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which puddle of mudd song??
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I cant think of one in particular it just reminds me of the band :]
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ahh., okay
that's kinda cool
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Very sad, and very well written. The emotions were amazingly portrayed in this, and the words weren't forced.
This made me want to cry, as I could relate to this poem well. Great write!
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Damn dude.. I've felt like that before.. dirty and broken. I like this
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thanks....for the comment, for liking the poem, and most of all, for knowing what i was trying to say...
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very nice ^_^
well no not nice sad..but nice
wtf o.O?
ITS SAD GOOD POETRY!!! =D
lol -
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thank you
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Very sad and haunting. the rhyme is nice not forced. you are loved and I pray your broken peices are mended, thanx, conni
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Nice write I like it a lot. I think you should try dirty pretty....you might like it.
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i actually do write some dirty pretty, so if you look around, you'll find some
thanks for the comment, i really appreciate it
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truth this made me tear up
it just hit me and i dont know it was crazy i loved this poem you are really good at this poetry lol, not fair keep it up -
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thsank you for commenting, this poem means a lot to me
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Wow. I don't normally like the abab form, mostly because few people master it gracefully, least of all myself. But you did a wonderful job here. I loved it.
Write on.
~*~SP~*~
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I think you express yourself well, and the poem flowed nicely, it almost gave me the feeling that this was a song, very well done!
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thank you
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Nice
You employed some rather vivid imagery. The words seemed to hint at something darker... An all round good piece.
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thanks
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ooohhh
Well done. I really like the rhyme scheme here (surprisingly - because I haven't really been a fan of rhyme lately), it works well for the poem. I also love the strong imagery you have: like a shivering wet puppy cast out into the cold rain. Beautiful write. It's so close to home...
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i'm not a fan of rhyme either
thanks for the comment
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You are extremely talented. I rarely consider anyone better than me, but you are.....hands down! I love all of this poem. Very smooth.
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wow your poems are great. i really like this one.
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no, they're not, they suck ass
but thanks anyway
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This is amazing too. I love your poems.
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*smiles*
thanks for the compliments
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great
loved it -
wow... do u really feel this way... if it makes you feel any better i love you buddy....
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wtf??
and, yes, i did, and sometimes still do, feel this way
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aaaaaaaaah
Your poem is so sad, based off the name dirty and broken I would assume the dirty isn't physical dirt... but emotional dirty. Broken I'd take as the reason you feel dirty. ~ You can change that... you can make the difference by taking control of your desires... Never feel ashamed of the things you've done... unless they've hurt other people. If someone took advantage of you, thats makes them dirty not you. If thats the case your not alone, unwanted or unloved. I am sure there are many who would be there for you in a new york minute. THANKS for entering my contest, it's nice to meet you. -
Very deep, strong imagery, easy flowing. Yet disturbing undertones..
A good basis for song-lyrics, but needs some work for that.
I hope not based on experience..
Love
x
Ev {o!-}
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amazing write
I really liked this piece and I have to say that this is my favorite part.
"I’m stained with these sorrows,
That just won’t go away,
Broken like the bottle,
You tried to throw away."
Great job in writing this piece, Hope to see some more just like this one.
keep the ink flowing
~L_D_P~
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i really like this poem and i feel he emotion pouring of this piece. it is a great write well done.
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i think this would be a good song, does have rhythem. good job, keep writing.
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this could make a great song...it has the rhythem to it already this was a really good write and I can relate so much...you have a very strong talent..keep writting
xXTashaXx -
I liked this, you did well.
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this makes me so sad I'm sorry
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hugs, youve taken the words out of my mouth, i really relate to this peice, youve written it so well it flows wonderfully and is very powerful, well done
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who is it to???? or is it not for someone????....nothing to it just wondering and like i said it was a good poem just a little mistypes here and there but good...like always.
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wow, this is very emotional, i can feel your pain. I'm sure your not worthless nor are you unawnated, i know you odn't know me but feel free to message me whenever. Good write.
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"Ina puddle fo sorrow," -- "Ina" perhaps you meant "In a". Mistype, I am sure.
A nice piece that you have written here.
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i like this poem....but i do agree with Kay, if you want to be dirty and broken then that is your choice to make, but if you want to be somebody then that is a choice you make yourself.....it is a great poem i like it.
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Great
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Great Passion
I feel this ...but in advice from my philosophy... you are what you decide you are...if you want to be broken and dirty..that is what you will be...if you want to be the one on top..that is what you will be too....this is a great write with great flow and I am looking forward to more ...
KAY
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