Christmas spirit is in the air
snow is falling softly on the ground
children are heard laughing all around
Christmas carols are sung by the fire
mistletoe and holly hung with care
the joy of the season is spread for all to share
Asleep in a manger lies the child for whom this
holiday was meant to be
The Lord God has sent his only son to
set the world free
Praise be God Almighty's
love be abound
on this precious holiday
let there be peace on earth
let it be found
Heaven's light reigns down from above
shining love through the eyes of a mother
encircling the babe's head like a
wreath of snow white doves
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Yes, that is definetly how Christmas should be. Everyone should think of Jesus, and hve peace and love in their hearts. lol, of corse, you could say that i how every day should be, but especially christmas. Wonderful write. Thanks for entering my contest. Merry Christmas!
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Great poem! Thank you for entering and good luck in my contest!
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This is a very nice poem about christmas.
I liked it very much!
It was awesome!
Dewdrop
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SUPER WRITE!
YOUR POEM WAS JUST BEAUTIFUL!!! THANKS FOR YOUR ENTRY!!! -
Thank You For Your Entry!
Thank you so much for your beautiful write!
Please pass the contest link on to your friends!
Have a wonderful Holiday! -
Thanks for entering
Since you entered the contest, I am assuming that you read the rules all the way through and are prepared for a tough critique on this, so here goes:
The first thing I notice is that almost every line of this poem is a cliche. Cliches offer prefabricated phrasing that may be used without effort on your part. They are thus used at the expense individuality. Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print. If you're depending on a stock phrase, you're letting someone else do half your thinking for you.
The next thing that I notice is that this poem tells instead of shows the reader what you are saying. For instance, instead of telling me:
Christmas spirit is in the air
how could you show that to me?
Maybe something like:
Children smile, watching colored lights
chase each other around the trees.
Okay, that sucks, but it is just an example. Just think of it as conveying the idea you want, in this case, the idea of "Christmas spirit," and describing it without using the words Christmas or spirit.
So that the reader has an image. 
Unfortunately, I am removing this from the contest because it does not fit the contest criteria, but you may enter a different poem if you like.
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I really enjoy how you rhyme everything. It is very well done. Your topic is greatly expressed and wonderfly written. In all you did an awesome job, I really enjoyed reading it. Thank you for entering my contest. Continue writing, you have talent! Happy Holidays!!
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excellent
Blessings to you - excellent write Lilfeather - very good poetry and flow - tells the story as it ought to be - looking out the window right now I see the snow falling - looks beautiful - your call for peace seems so distant with all the wars going on - The Prince of Peace will save His people from their sins - Bless God - dobardan - Joe - Read my poem "What Christmas is Not" - Merry Christmas LilFeather - Jesus loves you -
capturesthetruemeaningofchristmas!
Yes! This is a gift and always, Indeed!
Hope your Thanksgiving is wonderful!
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This is beautiful, finally something written about the true meaning of christmas, I applaud you for that, it is tender and gracefull and full of beauty, great job
Karen -
Hi, sadly the spirit of Christmas is not what it used to me, this is a very pretty and tender poem, I enjoyed reading this very much, there will be Christmas comps around and I am sure this would do well in one of them, all the best, Di
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How refreshing!
After all He is the reason for the season!
It is so simple for those to say "Happy Holidys"
I will return with Merry Christmas! ( Christ's mass)
I thank you my friend for getting this reminder out to all who read it. Good job
~Ron~
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wow, oh my goss, this is so good
this is really good, finally someone has put forth how christmas should be not just that you get presents, we shouldn't all be worrying about what we got, we should be happy, light hearted and look into the faces of others as they smile and laugh with joy, for is that not what christmas is about, once again great poem, keep writing please
. Rewarded 4
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Good focus
I liked the content which focuses on the true meaning of the holiday. Most lines flow well. Most rhymes are very good. Some of the lines seem to come for carols which is OK since it adds to the poems Christmas feel. Some of the flow is a bit off. "...the child this holiday was meant to be" doesn't seem grammatically correct. "The child (for whom) this holiday ..." makes more sense to me. "on this precious holiday there be peace on earth let it be found" doesn't flow. My mind wants "... holiday let there be..." -
Adorable
It's so refreshing to read a poem about the real meaning of Christmas in this ridiculous 'p.c.' life we are all so engaged with now. This is a lovely poem - I'm really looking forward to Christmas now. Thanks!
. Rewarded 4
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Thank you!
I am glad you enjoyed it. I had to rework it about four times before I got it just the way I wanted.
Peace, Love and Hope
God Bless
Tammy
Little Feather Spirit Cherokee
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