I thought you were so angry.
I thought you didn't care.
I thought that it was over.
To speak I did not dare.
I thought my heart was in my throat.
I thought my legs were numb.
I thought my face had caught on fire.
I just listened and bit my tongue.
Your hands were gripped so tightly.
My heart was filled with fear.
So sure that you would leave me.
And then I saw a tear.
I watched a tear fall down your cheek.
And another crept down slowly.
What could I have done to you?
I had hurt my one and only.
Maybe soon we will forget this.
Everything will be all better.
But I'll never forget I made you cry.
It will haunt my dreams forever.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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this is a great poem good job
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The problem with a period at the end of each line is that not all of them should be periods. Poetry doesn't have to be so defined as that. I also feel the repetition of "I" in the beginning is a bit much. You relax it towards the end and that's good but in the beginning it's a tad too repetitious and not all the lines should start with the "I", they could do without.
They rhyming's okay for this type of piece; as a practice I'd write in free verse and rhyme.
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wow
this is a great write, it made me feel bad when I was reading it. way to go, keep up the beautiful writing.
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