As I walked in the graveyard
The wind howled by
I noticed the trembling leaves on the tree,
And stared at the dark sky
I saw a young girl
On her knees she was weeping,
Was it for her lover
Who was now eternally sleeping?
I took a step closer,
And I reached to touch her shoulder
Looking into her eyes,
There was a woman who looked much older
Staring back at me was emptiness
Of where she had been,
And looked at the tombstone
Which stated who was within,
A young girl had died
Was she the ghost who was kneeling here,
I didn't stand around to find out why
I rushed out of that haunted graveyard
Trembling with fear~
Author notes
Written May 8th, 2003
Stating what inspired me to write this poem below:
I had watched a movie somewhat like the poem I had written and this is why I wrote it...
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 43 of 43
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Yikes, I would not hang around either! This poem made me sad, too, because my hubby just lost his Dad. The older I get, the more uncomfortable death makes me feel. Why is that? Best of luck in the contest, my Ky Bluebell. Hugs, ♥ Belle
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Perfectly expressed!
This a bone chiller huh! Great job of keeping your reader awake and interested in the ending! Excellent thought provoker! Great job, Susan!! Don
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oh this was somewhat eerie, nicely expressed to share the sorrow of a love lost, good luck in the contest..MM
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humorous and frighting
You managed to capture both suspense and humor in this piece. That's not easy to do. Nicely done. -
OOOOOoooooooooooo
Ghostly poems are so FINE! And graveyards poems, too... SO combine the two and WOW, terrific to imagine! 
Great going here, Susan! 
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Good ghost story for Halloween!
This ghost poem makes me feel sad for the ghost, I don't think I'd be afraid if I encountered a ghost like that. I'd wish I could comfort the girl in some way.
Best of Luck in the contest, Sis!
Love Ya!
♥ Maureen
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Well Done
You are right I did enjoy this read, tis a great poem, your talent is amazing, blessings John
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Ohhhh chilling! This was pretty much what I was looking for. I think it ended perfectly... leaving the reader on the edge of the seat... exactly the way a movie or a ook would do.
It feels like the middle of a story... like the end of the chapter that builds up to the climax. I noticed though that you didn't follow the one rule... Meh.
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thank you and corrected error
I had just taken a pain pill about an hour before I read this..and afraid it hit me about the time I saw this great contest...and was also thinking I had to change the background....
The error is corrected now and the rule is now in there
TY for the great comment and the reminder
Hugs
Susan~~~
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Cool
This is a very unique poem! I like how it ends
Thanks for commenting on my poem.
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ohh this is so kewl =)
i love it!
hmm...kinda expected the dead person to be the girl's lover or sumthing like that heh but nope!
i love ghost stuff hehe =) -
That was scary, eerie, thanks for the chills, well written ghost poem,
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Chilling
Hi Susan
This was fantastic. You set the scene well. I love this type of dark, eerie write. You imagry was great, as I could see the scene unfold. You grabbed me with the first word, and held me tight right up to the end (which I love) This was indeed chilling. Thanks for sharing it with me, and thanks for the comment on my add line piece..please feel free to add to it!! That's why I posted it!
~Johnny -
Great use of imagery. Hauntingly sad.
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*Shiver* this is a chilling write. I love it though. Ghosts have always fascinated me or the idea of them. Not sure they really exist. I would not want to meet one though.
By the way I know that person that did the photo. I work on his poetry board as a moderator. I have always loved that picture. Michael is also a board member of NPAC
Red -
I like the way this poem is simple but complex, if you get what I mean! You can read into it on many levels, which I love poems to be like! Well done:)
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And I reached to touch her shoulder
Looking into her eyes,
--The ONLY thing i would change with this, is to make Looking, into Looked...but ima stickler for things like this
Beautiful and hauntingly sad imagery here, hope this never actually happened, though i've had a few occations where i've come face to face with ghosts...especially in my best friends house..im always afraid to go near the basement closet...i run down the stairs and past it...and then get laughed at...oh well
I liked this much!
Nyx... -
Wonderful imagery and emotion.
I just wish you hadn't run away
from one so sad. I really felt
for the girl at the grave.
Hugs, Daoine
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GREAT
Wow- just... wow. Awesome poem. I LOVE the irony of the girl weeping at her own grave- that was excellent. The picture you have for this is great- it complements the poem wonderfully- although the poem itself provides you with GREAT imagery.
~Zeek -
was she? go back and ask! very cool poem.
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Awesome
This is beautiful. It has an eerie feeling to it, yet the words are captivating. I think I would have screamed at the top of my lungs though lol Awesome work
~Charity
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I agree with all that has been said, Susan. A wonderful rendering of a ghostly tale. I love cemetaries..especially old ones with all the history they reveal. You can practically "feel" all the lives there. All the stories..unfinished. This was classic.
Lorianne -
this is really good, and really scary.
beautiful wording, it really sets the scene.
i would scream my head of if that ever happened to me!
very eerie, i enjoyed.
,,,=^..^=,,, Clare -
I don't think I'd ever step into a graveyard at night let alone touch the shoulder of a stranger who also finds themselves there at night!!!! LOL But I'm sure a lot of amazing stories could be written about just this very thing... An eerie story, wonderfully told Susan...brought chills all over me!!!! Enjoyed this a LOT!!!
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A Spooky one! Just love this one!
A classic ghost tale
i hope i dont see her
it would make me jump out of my shoes
Nice writing Hon*
Love~ You! Mina
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Oh... I love a good ghost story, Susan.
This is a classic piece if I ever saw one! -
Eerie
Haunting. I'm still feeling a little haunted by that twist at the end. Very well done. And thanks for commenting on my haiku! Bluebird -
Gave ME the willies! I recently wrote one about a woman sprawled out over a grave, too. Timing is so interesting in life. There seem to be no accidents.
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excellent job here, chilling and wonderful visions. this reminds me of a story i could tell you of one of my many trips to st. augustine...there are some interesting sites there to find especially if you are perceptive and 'see' whew!!! love it there though...anyway, i'm talking too much LOL great write hun, really love it much hugs
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the imagery and flow is great loved this catching up on reading have not forgotten you since you are in my favorites ....lol
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excellent pc. with cliffhanger ending
Susan you did a wonderful job on this. The piece read so easily, flows 1 line into the next, very smoothly. Told a story with a mystery. Left the reader in my opinion the option of whom was leaning over the grave. Nice creative twist at the end! Excellent job, thumbs up! good story but not scary like some....God Bless! Keep penning! Trying to catchup with reading. Off line as long as I was, it seems an impossible task. I think all my favorite AP writers put it in overdrive with their efforts! I don't think, I'll ever catch-up now!!! All of you r Stinkers! 
:B-
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Susan, this is an excellent, spooky write:) You should do more of these!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love ya,
Karen
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I could see this while reading... and I felt the foreboding of who this might be as you approached... sensing it to be her, but not completely sure... was thinking maybe her possible older self never realized? Thank you for sharing this one, Susan
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ohhh susan, i liked the rhyming, and it was so well described:) very eerie, and very cool with her weeping at her own grave:) awesome, and i agree with angeleyes, awesome picture, totally fits:)
kayla* -
Haunting-Nice job!
The picture sets the perfect atmosphere. I think ghost stories or stories about graveyards are interesting and intriguing. This is creative and gripping. Sent chills down my spine LOL A very enjoyable read, Susan. Thanks for sharing
~Kathy -
hehe... I woulda peed my pants first... THEN rushed out... maybe even passed out first hmmmm... lol... this was so well done. Your imagery was superb... a perfect ghost story... well done
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wonderful write!
exceptionally wonderful!
i think i would have trembled with much fear too...
blessed be
mike -
Bravo
I like this, it's hard to set a scene, and provide happenings in such a few lines, but I would have to say that you have done so, and with such style! -
Thanks all of you all for the comment
I was sorta iffy about posting this one
Not my usaual style
Again thanks:)
Susan~~~~~ -
Hey Sis! Spooky stuff! I love it! I also like the way the gravestone is illuminated...makes me wonder what is making it so bright! Keep thrillin' and chillin' us...seems everyone likes a good scare now and then!
Love Ya!
< 3 Maureen
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I enjoyed this poem... Cemeteries are not always treated with respect in rural communities--abandoned cemeteries are the subject of several of my early poems...
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God I love graveyards this was a wonderful poem I really enjoyed it
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well I don't blame you I would have run too but first I would have wet all over myself. HAHA I think that this was really good wirte my friend I enjoyed it very very much thank you so very much for shareing it
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