D-i-v-o-r-c-e! Who is getting a divorce
"I am, dawn, I'm divorcing you, FAT"
Why, [says FAT] We have been friends
All of our life - how could you?
Remember when dad beat you
I was there and I held you tight
When you were cold
I warmed you through the night.
How can you let me go?
I've been your comfort for years
When you were happy I smiled
I am the "Fat" who wiped your tears.
Please don't send me away
I will disappear as I shrink
Day after day part of me is gone
Please you need me - think!
"I have thought it out
Now I give you up
It's God I need to depend upon
Stop being a wounded pup."
"Yes you always been at me side
As you grew and grew and grew
I depended on your protection "Fat"
"Fat" I hid and cryed inside of you."
"Look I am a person - I know
God is a great - God loves me
He is number one in my life
Not you anymore, let me be."
"You see "Fat", I've had it - enough
All of my life, I hid as I hurt so
Under the FAT-Not facing my strife
I added you to my body - NOW GO!"
"I now weigh 500 lbs.
With God's strenght I'm bold
Let go - you begun to melt
In two years I'll meet my goal."
"Thank you "Fat" for meeting my need
Divorce is what I give you today
God and His angels are my guide
God is in my heart to stay"
"Fat" said, I understand - I loved you
You kept growing - my bigger body displayed
Now it is time - Let God do His work
By His stripes - my FAT is melting away.
Ptaise The Lord!
A contest entry
- Love and Hope by StarEyes.
300 points, ended December 1, 2006, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I am on my way to my weightloss - Will You pray for me?
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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My first impression was to say "you go girl!" and my next thing was "what a wonderful way to change" to say the word divorce on the conscious level brings it more
alive and I applaud you for the thought -
I'm glad to hear that you want to be healthy. If this poem helps you keep your mind in the right place then that is great. I don't feel awkward giving my honest opinion of poems even when the subject seems touchy. You have posted it on a site that invites comments and sometimes those comments wont have anything great to say. This write seems to be more of a personal statement than a poem. It looks like something to be used as a first draft. You have the ideas down and after you mull it over a few times a real poem could come out of it. Don't give up. I think any personal statement which empowers you to do something difficult is worth turning into a poem, and the more you work on it the stronger your will becomes.
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regaining...control
All things are but habits, so the easiest way to rid ourself of one habit, is to replace it will a new, hopefully better one...
Hugs...Eddy
A dozen used crutches
now stand lonely, unwanted
in the dusty corner
-Eddy
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Kudos!!
Congratulations on your steps towards your goals in life. Not only have you incorporated your own will but you've asked for God's will. There are many things that we must face in our life, and without asking the Lord for assistance in making us stronger, we are not totally committed to change. He is in fact the ultimate "cheerleader" that we all need to summons into our lives, hearts, and souls as we begin to change in this mortality. Good luck to you... Bless you.
Tonya -
Touche
Loved it and what a way to express it! More power to ya. Another typo is 'cryed' should be 'cried' other than the spelling errors and lord knows spellcheck is not perfect. This made me smile. -
great poem i liked it alot
keep up the great work
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this is a beautiful poem and i hope that you reach your goalweight and love who you are...i love how you wrote it as a divorce. how your getting rid of that part of you so it cant return. great poem. it was beautiful. good luck with your weight lose. it will be a tough journey
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A new twist on divorce which was intresting.
Good luck on your journey.
Id point out some errors but others already have so ill just say I really liked this. -
Very good poem with a lot of get up and go. you will get there girl, but hey! don't do it for him do it for you and a longer life with your next man lol. god is good. good luck and i'll pray for you.
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This is pretty good, you had two errors in there one was: 'thight' that is spelled tight. And the other is "cryed" that should be spelled 'cried'. There was one more but now I can't seem to find it. Anyway, it was a good poem, with a ton of backbone. I hope you stick to it! Good luck to you!
~*Blushful Lie*~
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Cleverly written
Well done on a fantastic piece that had me captured from start to finish -
well...
i'm more confused than ever...
but other than that, it was a great write...
my parents got divorced, then remarried...
and their divorce was... well....
not this confusing...
oh, i'm trying to leave you a comment,
but i'm so confused...
maybe i'll read it a fifth time
and i'll understand it completly,
i get bits and pieces tho...
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Caught me
Off guard on this one. I really enjoyed you humor in a really touchy subject. being overweight. I personally have no opinion on that but for health reasons . Yes Ill pray for you> GBY & good luck my friend. ~Ron~ -
Not what I expected, a new take on divorce. First off, congradulations.
I noticed some awkward phrasing. For instance, "Yes you always been at me side". I think you might have missed a word, "you have" I think. Also, I'd take a closer look at your use of tense.
Too add on to FisherCats typo list: L6, thight should be tight. L33, weight should be weigh.
Best of luck in the contest and hopefully you keep on track. -
Thanks for the entry into this contest. I will leave full critiques at the close of the contest. Best of luck to you in the contest.
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You do have a couple of typos in this, and I know from first hand experince that Sunshinegirl is a stickler for spelling!
"I've been your confort for years"
I think, CONFORT should maybe be COMFORT,
"With God's strenght I'm bold"
STRENGHT should be STRENGTH
Now that I have that out of the way, I will keep you in my prayers too. You will get there one day. Best of luck in the contest.
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