Death became her
Like autumn to the leaves
The slow change, the death of cells and molecules
Agonizing but beauty in a way
The death that colors the world, only she colored my heart
With her tears and sadness and anger at fate
Sharp contrasts of crisp blue and golden yellows, and reds
Like the leaves that still fall from the trees
Littering the ground above her grave
If only she knew it seems, the whole world is mourning her death...
And death became her
Like autumn to the leaves...
Author notes
This is the first thing i've wrote in a bit of time that I actually write, you all will be the judges of wether or not it is anygood. ^_^
A contest entry
- best everything by sociaL IntollErance.
300 points, ended November 5, 2007, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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amazing write
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A very unique way to describe the death of someone. Really quite different to look at death as a positive thing as in this case. Guess it is inevitable, and maybe one is sick and death is the release of pain and a godsend in a way. Vivid visuals in these lines as well,
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'Death Became Her'...
A beautiful expression of a love laid to rest....
Lovely expression of imagry through out...
thank you for sharing it with all of us and of course me too...
as always... -
this was a great piece I especially liked the lines 'The death that colors the world, only she colored my heart
With her tears and sadness and anger at fate' for some reason it just stood out to me. I also like how you compare it to the leaves in autumn. it's a great metaphor, and original. I really liked how you repeated the first two lines at the end. it kind of summed up the poem, but left it open at the same time.
another cool thing i liked was in the seventh line. you described the colors really well. 'crisp blue and golden yellows' it adds more effect to the poem. all in all. I really liked it. -
inspired
I loved the imagery you presented. The compaison to leaves in autumn was inspired, and gave a very real picture to the words. I didn't take to the "molecules and cells" referance; it seemed like such a stark scientific contrast to the emotive beauty of the rest of the poem, but I may be biased becuase I failed my biology exams... anywho, it's still a great poem. x -
This is beautiful and bittersweet. The imagery is wonderful. I love the last three lines. The entire piece is packed with emotions that are so heartfelt that it leaves me in awe. Well done.
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Thank you for reading
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I think it is very good
you have painted a very remarkable picture of your sentiments and penned them very well I just seemed to have grasp your emotions and meaning with my heart from yours it is a good read thank you for shaing
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Thanks for reading ^_^
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This poem reminds me of one i have read before, but i have no clue what it was. i love the title alot. And i also love the very last line. keep up the good work.
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thanks for reading
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really well written
this was really well written, and i say this because what you did was you took something as simple as autumn leaves and made it completely into your own. I was amazed because i looked at the title and i thought, well lets take a quick look and when i did i was blown away practically.. i mean, it is sad, yes, but just look at the detail you put in.. the on thing i wish would have changed was it to be longer, i love long poems.. otherwise this was a really well written write and i liked it a lot.. im trying to get that reward thing so im just going to keep typing until i get like 105 words or something just to make sure that i can get every thing.. hey im just being honest there.. ummm. what else to say? okay nothing else, good poem
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lol thanks for reading.
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Agonizing but beauty in a way. It's refreshing to read a poem concerning death without bitterness. This poem is beauty!
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thanks for reading
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A whisper as the leaf falls to the ground, death became her life autumn leaves. Wonderful poem, I love the imagery it captures! ~Sie
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thanks for the comment.
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I love it. It's a brillant poem
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thanks for reading
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agreed, this is Deep!
Good Luck in the Contest!
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thanks for the comment.
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"And death became her
Like autumn to the leaves... "
the comparison you made here, with all the color effects u added throughout your poem is just wonderful...
deep write
loved it!
~rana~
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In anything i've ever written that has to be my faviorite lines that ever flowed from my fingertips. Thank you for the comment and applause. ^_^
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This is amazing, Beautiful and Brilliant. I love it.
Poetry like this always makes you take another look at everything around you and find the beauty in it.
great job and good luck.
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Joyus -
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thank you for the wonderful comment. ^_^
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