The swirling safe place
that holds you forever and a day,
Wishing you never had to look away,
your enternal grace.
Yet you have to leave the peace,
Look away from their sweet eyes.
Can you feel your heart as it dries?
These feelings just won't release.
Why can't anybody see?
I want what can't be mine.
No, I won't be fine.
Author notes
I have a lot of categories for this peom, I know.
I couldn't narrow it down in my mind. I want to know what you think. This sounded so much better in my mind the first time, but now I just want you guys think, because I don't think it flows that well. The ABBA isn't working that great.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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me likes
t'was a good write i enjoyed it not to long which i like becasue wen a poem drags on it just bugs me, ithink it's a great poem. and i think i'm gunna add u to my favs just incase i want something short and nice.
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inner turmoil
my perception of this poem(well i had two)
the first being an unrequited love and the pain associated with it.
the second being as a person grows older there's more responisiblities and maybe that feeling was coming down, all the emotions of being afraid, doubtful start becoming reality to a teen.
but i rather think it has to do with lost love.
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Interesting
Interesting ideas, I guess I only tihnk about it one way, because I wrote it obviously.
If you want to know what I wrote it for, then keep going, if you rather just keep seeing it your way, then, stop, because I know a lot of times I rather just see it the way I thought of it originally.
It's more about love that can't happen. It's about liking/loving a friend, a friend who has someone else, and you know that you can never have them because they are too happy, but you can't stop the feelings.
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I like that the last stanza is only three lines. "Can you feel your heart as it dries?" is a good line, also don't forget your spell check. All-in-all a good write. -N
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