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Russian Roullette
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There are many ways to cry
she said,
ghost
of her cigarette
still dangled from lips;
with sounds that crack space
between love
and a chance of hate
that thunders from silent eyes
while emptiness plays
Russian roullette
with hands that shake,
bottles and pills and vices
that play
(mostly) at night.
Tapped her heart once more
to finalize
the death it ate;
'spit up blood' she said.
Ran a fingernail
down a one track arm
flicked the dead cigarette
at my feet
and walked back inside--
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Author notes
someone please help me understand the spell checker. i mean, really.
Well, I think I figured out the spell checker. It's stupid, but it works.
now, if we could just nix all those annoying avatars.
but i have this- 
Why do we need to ask the reader questions?
Comments
1 - 52 of 52
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Your writing style is mystical and breathtaking and I am most definitely bookmarking this poem.
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Thank you.
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give me more!
i want more lines... get deeper. bleed, damn it!
these lines are my favorites:
'spit up blood' she said.
Ran a fingernail
down a one track arm
...but it's all broad strokes.. deeper deeper deeper! -
Wow...a nice combination of words to make the poem come to life. Good job.
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with hands that shake,
bottles and pills and vices
Beautiful
Such despair, put together so elegenatly and so imaginatively.. Definitely something worth reading over and over again..
-Danneh<3(Marry me?)
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I liked your poem but if you could tell me how the spell check works I well every one else would be happy just ask my angel wh is trying to help my misseable Englisn
Well as usual I got carried away on the top line. mac
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Spell checker-- click on it once, let the new page come up and then click on it again. Words are underlined in red... click on the word and it will give a couple of "maybe" spellings. Click on the correct one and it will correct it for you.
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I love it
I am very confused about the new setup...but I love this poem and you get three applauses. <3!
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Thank you.
If you have any questions, I think I have figured out the ins and outs here. Just ask. I (hope) I might know the answer.
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Ok, back again. I really had to read this a few times, and I keep getting different things out of it, you know like those new cars that seem to change colour depending on the angle from which you look at it... I think the end fucking rocks! Especially the very last line; it is so wonderfully, anti-climatically sinical, yet vulnerable, how can you not like it?
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Thank you. I meant for the ending to actually be the most important part of the poem... it's suppose to speak without actually saying the words, ya know? I'm glad you caught onto that.
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Woo.
That was cool. I dig that. Well written!
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Masterpiece
Another amazing write from beginning to end, and yes, I love the end.....
You always leave me in awe
Lynda
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Oh hello...just stopping in to say that and these are my babes...
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i don't get the order that this posts the comments in. i think if you leave a verdict you go to the top, and if you don't you go to the bottom. and then you reply, and the newest goes to the top... weird...
and i don't like that when you get a comment it doesn't alert u.
u have to go check your poems... or maybe it does and it's just being difficult with me.
hey every time i press enter a new suggestion appears under this box about how to critique.... -
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Well, it fixed the poem, but the comments are still italics...
now, that's a very odd glitch.
I hate this new version. So many stupid things go wrong. And it sucks.
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maybe if i edit my original comment.
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LOL It doesn't bother me, really. It's neat, I can make italics off of you...
Kevin really messed this up.
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your poem was in italics too??? i hadn't noticed. Oh my! I've destroyed your page!!!
well to close italics.. it's < / i : gt >
i put it all separate so you can see it... hopefully. lol.
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LoL
oh my god that's nuts! i can't believe it....
ok let's see if i figure out how to close the italics.
i think that's it... let's see -
guess the italics never closed lol
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Agh! Everything's italics! Even my piece!
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LOL That's neat. Your italics made mine italics. Now that's an interesting glitch.
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LOL Yeah, all the stuff we were use to has changed up on us and now it's a whole new learning experience.
Thank you.
(I hate that we can't applaud comments. It drives me nuts.)
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Your author note made me laugh... because yesterday, I too was having trouble witht he stupid spell checker...
I really liked your little animated guy. What is the code for him? He's funny.
[by the way.. we need to ask the reader questions to make sure they understood? My guess... Let's make this site reading comprehension... yes... make sure they really read it.
i hope my italic came out.
ok on to your review... today i woke up and felt like reading poetry... and you are the newest poem on my favorites... soooo you get to be the lucky one... yey! LoL
This poem reminded me of blkwidow77 and i was wondering if it was a dedication to her... since it seems about two people...
i like that 'snapshot' poetry... i always wanted to get better at it, and you seem like a master at it..
I loooved your second stanza.
This was a great poem. I read it three times to make sure I could make a decent comment... and not sound like a total idiot [just a semi one]
this is my interpretation: it's about the speaker watching someone she cares about melt down and self destruct, being unable to do anything about it...?
eh... maybe?
well let me know.
Beautiful as usual!!!
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eh shit.. ummm.. I just clicked complain on the side of this, just.. cause, it was like a big red button, and I wanted to see what it did. it didn't really do anything
But, um.. I didn't mean to complain 
Sowy..
And yea, that fucking question thing is annoying. And i see my twin con has been here
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You complained about me?
LOL Now they are gonna come around and take away my birthday!
(as I'm old, that might not be a bad idea)
I figured it out. For the quick send in IMs. Instead of a friggin capital M, he could of used shift + space bar. Now, noone uses that in a normal message.
I have no idea why I just thought of that.
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I still haven't figured out spell check.lol.
"Tapped her heart once more
to finalize
the death it ate;
'spit up blood' she said.
Ran a fingernail
down a one track arm".
I really liked the imagery created with this stanza. "one track arm" was perfect. A rather dismal poem in content, but not intent. A very well-written piece.
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Thank you.
As for spell check, I intentionally misspelled a word to see if it actually worked. When I clicked and the font changed (odd little trick there), I could scroll down and there was another copy of my poem beneath the original... and the mistake was fixed. I don't like it, but it works.
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I spell checked and all it did was underline my error in red, no
other fixed copy underneath, so I just had to pick up my dusty
dictionary..lol. Fuck. (I like that word too.
) Kathleen
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This site is going nuts.
Really? That's odd. It fixed mine. As a whole new copy below my piece. Maybe the system wasn't aware of the word?
Heck if I know. This site has went stupid.
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gorgeous
ooh this is so wonderful, especially the first stanza
"There are many ways to cry
she said,
ghost
of her cigarette
still dangled from lips;" - the ghost... never thought of it like that, but it's clever because it's smokey and thin and dying - and linking it with death works. it's bewtiful.
i also loved the subtle oxymorons you used... "sounds...that thunders from silent eyes." wonderful
and i love the struture too, it's like a photoreel, like first stanza one picture... and then there's just a little few seconds of life, befor the nothingness comes back...
however, i wasn't so sure about the ending..."and walked back inside-" though maybe thats the point... to throw you off... idk it just didnt seem to fit with the poem...
but yeh i loved it!
amaaazing enough for three yellow clappy men
<3 x-Con-x
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Well questions or no this is another masterpiece of your pen. Splendid write my dear...Trina
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I can't drive by applaude. I'm often too tired to think coherently enough to do a review, I'm often balancing a contest needing reviews, with a long favorite's list waiting for reviews... Why the fuck did he take my god damn drive by applaudes away? Not only can I not even let people know I've read it, but not I won't even get applauses on my own work, because most people don't want to comment on my stuff, just applaude. I just love getting fucked simultaneously from both sides, don't you? Smacks of the image of a manicotti pasta shell, doesn't it? (and yes, watch out, I seem to be saying fuck to and about everything lately)
So yeah, the poem. Interesting title. It flies. It raised my eyebrow a bit, but it flies. Given my own mindframe, this piece was right up my alley.
Matter of fact, I found it touched a nerve. This I could really relate to. It's been awhile since I've seen a non-whiny dark write. I think it's better just to tell it like it is, but you can't tell anyone else that.
I don't know that I favor any one part over another. It's all smooth and well spoken. I don't know how much the cigarette was necessary play in this, but that might my aversion to smoking.
The only part I may say something about, is the last stanza. It seems to change tone suddenly and doesn't fit in with the rest of the piece. Nor does it feel any where near as impactful. Maybe it just needs to be re-worded?
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Ah. Cigarettes are always necessary. In my life, cigarettes are always necessary. Though, of course, Ohio is a smoke free state now. I'm getting it from all ends. Here, there, every-fucking-where.
The ending was meant to be anti-climatic. Real endings are always anti-climatic. We might think they speak loudly... but they don't. It's just another day, another person, same story.
All endings, that is. Not just THE ending, but all endings.
I say fuck. Too much. I like the word. It's the one word that can say so many different things.
Fuck yeah.
~~whispers: There's something wrong with that girl.)
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OH I THINK THE ITALICS WENT AWAY?
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ahA! SO THE POEM IS ABOUT YOURSELF!
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And don't give me that shocked face. I comment on more of yours (because you write more) than you've been mine. Often even reviewing ten at a time. I've just been too messed up lately, to do it.
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Yes, that's true. Endings really are just 'that's it' and a fade out. I don't argue with you there.
As for the ending though, I still think it needs to be re-worded. -
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LOL That was my way of saying that I prefer the ending the way it is.
Goofy. -
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I thought stubbornness is only for donkeys?
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This poem seems to have that effect on readers... I also have to think about it for a while before I can comment, because I just don't know what to say right now..
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something made me read this one several times. I found it to be strangely fantastic!she sure seemed to be in a heck of a mess. I hope I understood this one correctly. Was she on drugs?
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Thank you. Yes, you understood this correctly.
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Surreal...
THank you for taking us on yet another trip into the surreal world of the subject in misery and angst, seemingly a tortured soul; but here also appears to be quite in control, and very comfortable in the midst of the madness... must be... mad. Great write!! Rose of Ireland
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Indeed I just found another way to play Russian roulette,trying to read this not once but both times an annoying box appeared over the words,just had the same prob with a poem in the feature box,sigh.
A well written piece,thought provoking insight into the reality of the unreality of the characters,with the same stage but different scripts,his existence fuelled by appeasing himself and hers by appeasing him,the duality of the situation being that neither feel as if they are living but existing.
No suggestions,imagery and emotion were strong as was characterization.One query,the dots at the left side going down in a column after the poem had ended,pourqoi?Would be interested to know.Keep spilling ink to poetically portray life,love and laments dear poetess,you do it well. -
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The dots were merely to keep the space between the end of the poem and the line above the author notes. This version doesn't seem to honor spaces very well...
Thank you.
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OK. I've worked out why I like this so much.
The anti-climax at the end. It's brilliant. There are thousands of ways you could have ended this poem, but this way expresses something very deep and truthful.
The build-up to the climax: 'ghost', 'Russian Roulette', 'blood'! Then... no death, no redemption, no flash of realisation, but just what really always seems to happen in these situations - just 'walked back inside'.
And the poet as narrator, so subtly present...
I could go on and on. Great write.
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Thank you. You have stated everything I was going for with this poem. It is comments such as yours that keep me wanting to write. I know at least I am understood by someone... sometimes.
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wow..
The first lines blew me away.
Once I have crawled back from where it blew me I'll comment on the rest..
tum te ta.
Ok.. fuuck.
This has to be my most favourite recent poem. My god I wish Id written this Meli <-- note MMMMMMMMMM
The way you ended it, hopeless, maybe.. maybe not. Maybe it's just the end of that little smoking break snapshot.
God this is gorgeous.. can I put this in the new black frame I bought and stick it on my wall? Pleeease?
Love ya
jess-
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Ah! You're a sweetheart. Trying to make me feel good?
It worked.
Put it on your wall? Sure.
Ah.
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Like it but withholding comment till I have time to read it again (life is so hurried)
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