Were you a lover or broken heart?
I knew you would hurt me
From the start.
Tears in my pillow,
Body cold, no embrace,
The thought of you leaving sets my heart ablaze.
Why did I think you could save me?
Why did you erase me?
Your existence drives me to insanity.
I can’t go on knowing that you can live and
Be happy with someone else
After you tore me to pieces with your probing eyes
Your false love and deceitful lies.
I’ll make you pay dear “love”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To house I make haste
To erase you with a death embrace
As I lie to you with crying hysterics
You let me in unawares.
You tell me that you really did love me and that she
Meant nothing to you.
As you continue to play off you lie
The blade of my knife you didn’t spy
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But you were quick in your reaction
As you are swung in to action
Catching the knife as I aimed for your heart
As we struggled I called to you
Asking that you take me back in the next life
After a few seconds more of struggle
I won.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My knife in you heart, my hand on the hilt
I had you now you little slut!
Your pain so dear!
You told me she was just a friend!
I twist the knife
You scream your last scream
As the room falls to silence, you die.
I leave your house smiling, your death my prize.
A contest entry
- Anything Goes... As long as it's deep... by CrystalJet.
450 points, ended March 3, 2007, 93 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Wow, loved it. The first stanza was especially powerful I thought, I really like the way it was broken into parts and it kept me hooked til the end. Good work =]
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*curtsie* thankyou...it happens to be one of my favs...although i do find the lst line a little awkward...i just don't know how to fix it...
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Maybe get rid of the your house bit, and replace it with one word, but I think the your death my prize bit is good lawl
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hmm...that would be a challenge for me...i use a lot of words...
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This was dark and twisted... not as deep as it is all raw emotion. The first stanza caught me and pulled me in and I was left impressed and awed! absolute genuis
Were you a lover or broken heart?
I knew you would hurt me
From the start.
Tears in my pillow,
Body cold, no embrace,
The thought of you leaving sets my heart ablaze.
Why did I think you could save me?
Why did you erase me?
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This is a really good poem and I liked it. The only flaw was in the first line of the last stanza you put the word "you" instead of the word "your". Thank you for your wonderful entry and good luck in my contest.
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