Ah’ swear~
I hate to
gut a bird -I’m a wimp
won’t touch it
or
pull poo- veins out of shrimp.
watch motorists scrape hair
from the nose,
nope-
will not look there.
put real ketchup on eggs
like it’s steak,
not-
with weak ankles and legs.
grind teeth- like nails to board
in the screech
well,
a mouse may well have roared.
not much I can’t stand,
but frailties
have been
behind reluctant “Yes m’s”
as foreign to the liver
So next time you ask,
‘Will you?” I’ll say,
Ah’ swear,
I won’t do that...no , never!
Can’t make me. Nope. Not anymore.
Author notes
Okay. I said it. I'm crumbling under certain ookie things. I have a right to. I'm close to my senior citizen privileges.
Written May 7th, 2003
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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this seems a bit modern, and definately unique..I like seeing this style by you..you are so good with it.
excellent and enjoyable!
~ Lea -
First signs of insanity....thoughts all scrambled and moving, ignoring the signs...stop, yield, no passing zone....
very intriguing piece.
sam
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This was a very fun read. The accent worked great with the imagry. Great job!
*Alex -
LOL This was funny. Thanks for making me laugh! I got weird
quirks too, that I can't stand. I think we all do
And we're
most entitled to!
Jen
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i like it!
What fun to read this! Really well written, very humorous poem.
Thank you.
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Fun read, lols
I can withstand most anything except a raw egg and canned spinach. For me a bad case of the heevy-geevys.
Really enjoyed.
~Mary O -
I had to disect a shrimp once. I haven't been able to eat one since I found out what gave it its - uh, unique? - taste. Anyway, it was fun poem to read. I liked it. --STP
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LOL...Sprite! There's a good one there! hahaha..Thank you.
Well...the "ah"...is a dramatic colloquialism that really means.." I swear"........more in the southern mode. LOL. My mother used to say.."Ahhhhhh swanee!" Meant the same thing. Sorry if this trips anyone up territorially!
Edited on May 10 because ''. -
Viewing the chewing
Is bad enough,
Without having to hear
Each squish and crunch
In my one good ear.
Masticate each piece thoroughly
But please remember this,
If I hear one more sloppy slurp,
I'll plug it with a fist.
I enjoyed this. Love the flow and tone of it. It is fun!
I got hung up on 'ah swear'. Had to read it a few times before I got it. Also, I'm not in love with that scraping hairs line, but I think it's becaue I found it yucky, lol. -
LOL...you nut!!! haha. Thanks for the laugh.
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whew
thank gosh i am safe...
i will never be gutted LOL -
What wonderful stories, both true and nonuvur!! I should maybe start a challenge to this subject???lol. Thank you one and ALL for comments and wonderful little ditties to this idiosyncrasy of our lives!!
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When I was small and still living at home if I saw a bug all I had to do was call my dad to the rescue. Then I got married and had to learn to kill the suckers myself, for when I called my hubby all he did was throw a shoe at a large roach! Pitcher material he is NOT. The thing just ran under the furniture leaving me scared all night that it would suddenly pop out again, so now I just kill all the bugs myself. Men are wimps, so if you want it done do it yourself. or not. lol
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This reminds of a lobster boil I went to. Once I arrived, I'd found out that my friend was skittish about putting them in the pot. All the while, I'd never had any intention to do such a task... what? touch those cold, somewhat slimy suckers..?? Before all was said and done, I'd put eight into the pot or lest we would not have eaten at all. Human frailty was worth more than a few smiles for sure! A great diversion in my afternoon. Thanks for sharing.
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i liked this too! alot of times, i feel like i have to give up something, just because it dosent fit. lol well, nice job here, and no more aging! your not a senior citizen YET!
*~!)o(Azul Corte Katze)o(!~* -
lol... makes me think your really poshy and all bout the things you do... hahaha... oh god loosen up! hehe... hmm... this reminds me of when i went this tragic summer to take care of some cubs (scouts) in summer... oh dreaded summer it was indeed.... *sigh* hehe but i liked this poem... it was nicely layed out...
Katze -
HAHA, very cute and funny poem! I wish I had the gumption to say the same in such an amicable way! Great poo - em hahaha, I HAD to do that!
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Very nice and very funny. The hairs on my arms stood up as I read the "Nails on the board" part. Keep up the great work. Somehow, all of your peieces brighten up my day just a little. Thanks
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You are absolutely right about ketchup on fried eggs ... it is foul. This was wonderful- a list of things described with imagery that made me go 'uurrgh' even with things I'm fine with- but not overdone at all.
I eat (small) British shrimps head and all - people find that minging!!!!! heh heh heh! -
sheree, sheree good for you, I hate those veins they cook and leave
in those shrimply things, I hate having to remove the tail as well
can you imagine what was cooked and left inside for us to endure????
senior or not, we ladies must stand up for this battle
the road kill some squander over to prepare a meal is beyond me....
and as I travel down the country path to watch the big guttled calf
stand and graze I want to regeritate the fact that we praise such
an animal to be on our table at every meal....
I will stick with my tuna and salmon in a can, thank you very much
I truly enjoyed your form on this one Cookie
i will probably recieve alot of flack for my no beef protest but
a girl has to do what a girl has to do!!!
******10 stars for you !@$%&&&&#$%@#%!%==
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Tamara -
Ummm... wow! lolol Good, funny write!
~k -
Heheheh..I hear you! Actually I only used that as a far extreme to eggs. I've never used ketchup on steak in my LIFE.
Furniture??? Ohhhhhh yes. My husband would have a fit that would tremor the Middle East would I do that. Uh...I think. Maybe I should try it.!!! lol.
Edited on May 08, 1:55 because ''. -
Great poem!
You put ketchup on steak? Actually, what terrifies me is sudden and unprovoked rearrangement of furniture. It's just plain disturbing.
Edited on May 08, 1:50 because ''. -
Hehehe!!! It's amazing though. I used to gut squirrels, fish, including all wild fowl, but ..tsk...tsk...won't do it now.WOW...a rhyme in three cases. Let me see if I cand do this:
"I used to gut squirrels,
fish, including wild fowl
but, my , oh my !
I won't do it now."
Now I'm laughing....due to the fact that husband has been a hunter for over 30 years...now specializing in quail. sigh. Yes....amicus, someone's got to do it!! lol. Actually,
I still devein the shrimp, but don't like it because I think about it while I am. I'm too much a thinker..Yuck..Yuck..lol
Thank you everyone. I want REAL critiques, now. real ones. Or someone to add to what gets on your nerves! -
Cookie it is about time us women stood up for ourselves lol this is kind of cute you know. My husband is more afraid of mice than I am. I think they are kind of cute myself.
Red -
Funny and cute. I absolutely love the rhyme scheme of this poem, I just can not imagine how you did it! The pictures inside are hilarious. I can see a typical little girl going OOO gross type o thing. Great write Jeremey
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What does it mean to gut a bird? Shrip has poo poo viens ewwh lol
I didn't get this Cookie lol but still love you dear LOL!!
You have a IQ of one brillant I th ink......mine is Forest Gump...
Remember that......and love me reguardless LOL I know ya do Auntie Cookie (((((Hugs)))))))) -
this was good I like it . we all have human frailties that what make us human I think but I think that you did a GRAND JOB on this poem here thank you for shareing it
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