Fighting Tears

I struggle, and how…
Not here, not now
I can’t let them see, I’m torn,
Tears threaten to pour
Eyes burn, heart aches
I must have made a mistake.
What have I done?
They won’t stop once they’ve begun

So I must wait…

In my room alone
I finally let go
Icy tears come
Free-falling now, completely numb
I’ve failed to hold them back, now they flow
But here no one will know
So I cry all alone
Why did you go?


I thought I had found
Some one to call friend
But then you left me
Alone in the end
Did I do some thing
To make you leave?
For our lost friendship
I sit here and grieve.

I want to talk,
Find out what went wrong
But your desire to ignore me
Seems to be strong
You’ve turned your back
Just walked away
It scared me to find
Nothing in your eyes today

No compassion, not a care
There was simply nothing there
I wanted to ask why me? What have I done?
But you do not listen, so I walk away shunned
I want to tell you I still care,
But my words would fall only on air
Because you are deaf to all that I say
Tell me simply, is there even a way

Or will I fail? Our friendship just fade?
You must know, there’s nothing I wouldn’t trade
For your smile to return
For you to fault my concern
But I see that distant look
No new chapter now, you’ve closed the book
On our friendship I held so dear
Your intentions now are crystal clear

I still do not know the reason why,
But to heal this friendship, I have to try
I went to dinner thinking there we might mend
And once again I felt forced to contend
But I seem to be the only one who can’t win
You hear everyone else, why add to my chagrin?
You’ve told me many times that to you I’m transparent
So my feelings must be quite apparent

Which must mean you choose not to see
Why is it that you wish to overlook me?
What crime against you did I commit?
Why does nothing I say faze you one bit?
I have to assume you’ve chose to move on
You prove the friend I knew once, is now gone
Can I not reach him anymore?
No, that’s why my heart lies shattered on the floor

Trust you? I did.
The tears I’d tried to forbid
Fall like crystal now and break
I realize now, I must have made the mistake
For I thought I knew you, my dear friend
But I was the one standing in the end
Watching you walk away
Breaking now, my tears betray.