Sometimes I wake up, and I expect to see you there
But then again it's just a dream, and I know you're never here
How many years go by, before you turn on back
And look upon my broken soul, and all you could have had?
Sometimes I wake up, and there's no sun outside
There's no warmth to comfort me through the long night
Sometimes I wake up, and I cry because I'm alone
But sometimes I wake up, and I don't feel alive at all
I wonder what had happened, all those years ago
That decieded to destroy our future, the one we'll never know
I wonder when the rain falls, does it was away your tears
Or does it only cover them up, until you're the only one here?
Sometimes I wake up, and there's no sun outside
There's no warmth to comfort me through the long night
Sometimes I wake up, and I cry because I'm alone
But sometimes I wake up, and I don't feel alive at all
Someday I will find you, and I'll hold you in my arms
Whisper sweet nothings in your ear, and catch you when you fall
Someday I will tell you, all that I've felt for you
But sometimes I wake up, and I don't think I can live it through
A contest entry
- Sumtimes i wake up by strawberrie2005.
300 points, ended December 22, 2006, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites Galore and Nothing More by HerbalGoat.
300 points, ended February 22, 2007, 66 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This is beautiful, but the sad feelings kind of tone it down, but nonetheless, and very strong appealing piece. Thanks so much for entering, and good luck.
~ This is just a side question, but I saw that your first two lines had a rhyme to them, and wondering if that's where this poem was actually going to end up being, or if it was just circumstance. I have a feeling, and that if you attempted to write this again (but as a separate piece), rhyme would set off some other effects, or at least emphasize on the ones alreeady present. -
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umm , not sure. lol. but thanks and I went for teh sad because...I tend to write sad poems I guess. Thans a lot.
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BEst of luck in the contest. Happy holidays.
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very strong write i thought it was a great one though. you did a nice job on the flow and the picture that the readers view in their minds. i know it played a nice one in mine. great job *god bless*
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