My heart shivers as the night draws in
It feels closer than once thought
My pen moves in slow motion
And the hours tick by
Many things changing around me
But the one thing remaining constant is you
Through this time of isolation
You held my hand
You supported my head when I cried
You brought me reason to delight in my pain
Because everything always turns out
The way it's meant to
In the end
I feel faint
The need to call upon you again has come
I know I'm broken
I know I need to be fixed
But when will it come, the end?
My heart shivers as the day dawns
You feel closer than once thought
My pen still moving
My heart still loving you, my son
Author notes
Written on 6th May 2003 at 14:44 GMT
This is about how I would feel about being a mother in the future. When I wrote it, I was going through much confusion. I didn't want children for the most of my life, but something changed. Maternal instincts crept in. And I used those instincts to write. I wrote as if I was a mother. Being in pain, I was hoping that one day that would be remedied by caring for another human being. And the fact that it's a boy makes it more poignent, because the majority of men in my life have treated me terribly. So, in a way, this poem is about hope for my future.
In a list
A contest entry
- First contest ever!! come on in by smilingshadow.
302 points, ended June 1, 2006, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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a lovely piece..where your words flow very naturally and your feeling come forth very well..thanks for entering my contest ..wishing you all the best for your future and i have no doubt u will be an excellent mom!..
smilingshadow
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this is very good. i love it. the lines that especially stuck out to me were the need to call upon you has come again,i know i am broken. great write!!!!!
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Hey, thanx for the comment. Maybe I should explain the poem a bit... It's about how I would feel about being a mother in the future. Last year, when I wrote it, I was going through much confusion. I didn't want children for the most of my life, but something changed. Maternal instincts crept in. And I used those instincts to write. I wrote as if I was a mother. Being in pain, I was hoping that one day that would be remedied by caring for another human being. And the fact that it's a boy makes it more poignent, because the majority of men in my life have treated me terribly. So, in a way, this poem is about hope for my future.
Man, I rambled on! But I think writing this response to yer comment, HappyWanderer dude, it makes the poem more clear to me as well.
Thanx again for yer comment.
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I liked the emotion and honesty in this poem but the subject seems to change with each stanza, the first being a tribute to a mother, the second a personal expression of pain (though the source of the pain is not mentioned,) and the third seems to shift from the child's voice to the mother's voice. i.e., I thought it was from son/daughter to mother, but the last line ends with "my son". I guess it confused me a little. The poem could have ended at the first stanza. Maybe all of the above is just an interpretation problem on my part but I think with a little clarification, it could be more powerful.
I hope you don't mind the nitpicks!
Mark -
I loved the structure of this beautiful poem, its sadness in portayal of both pain of life and loss associated with caring - gentle and elegant
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