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poem for my heart

 

 

 


this poem for you,

my not-round word,
the colour of beginning and end;

unselfed verb of my breast,
my constant occupation,
wind-rose of passion,
dahlia of my scars

rest on me,
close all your senses,
leave your lips half-open:

for there is only your fire against so many cold things,
only your tenderness against arrows and stones,
only your glance to uncloud the sun

 

 

 

 

 





 

Author notes

A poem for my own heart...

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 99 of 112     1 2  next >  (show all)

  • eatingupyourmind
    September 24
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    Well done


  • eatingupyourmind
    September 24

    Edit | Reply
    Now, you have talent, congrats. It is obvious that a lot of thought went into this piece.

    Its fantastic


  • RedwingSpirit silver member
    January 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very Nice Work Congratulations on the silver trophy it was well deserved. Thank you for taking the time to enter this into my contest I wish you the best of luck

    RedwingSpirit


  • Beating gold member
    October 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow. this is so beautiful. It's very short, but that doesn't matter. What i really like about this piece is the last three lines. I love those. The others a good too, but no where near as strong or poetic as the ending ones.
    Very well written!


  • LucyLightning
    September 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    beeeeeeeeeeeautiful.
    very emotional, flowy.

  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    September 1, 2007
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    This is a very nice write Congrats on your silver.Very well earned.


  • So Strange
    August 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Nice poem. I can see why it won silver medal. I just do not get the semicolon at the end of particular verses, though.

    I especially liked this verse:

    unselfed verb of my breast,
    my constant occupation,
    wind-rose of passion,
    dahlia of my scars

    Well written verse, even though the others are good, as well. I thought this had nice flow.


  • Frozentearz
    August 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Some wonderful penning within this page,
    I am glad that it was featured and that I got the chance to read it,
    Thanks for sharing,
    Love and Light
    Frozentearz

  • strangerforeigner
    August 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very well done.


  • vitamin.M
    August 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    amazing...
    i love it, its fantastic...


  • Girl With Guitar silver member
    August 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This actually sounds something like Judith Wright's poetry. Amazingly woded, very well done and you fdefinitly deserved the trophy

    Bandaid.


  • J.J. Sass
    August 14, 2007

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    So glad this was in the spotlight Nic!
    There were so many wonderful phrases and images throughout. The plays on words were amazing. For example,

    "my not-round word" and "unselfed"

    Those are just wonderful - something I wish I wrote myself. You have certainly left me in awe here.

    Excelente!


  • raggyann
    August 13, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is a poem you can feel so close to your heart that its a treasure .

  • Rowan gold member
    August 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    S2..left me with such longing.
    I know where this comes from, and I know
    where this goes..
    as your poem says,
    "dahlia of my scars

    rest on me,"
    this is more than beautiful, my friend,
    and as a poet, you would think I'd have the words..
    but I don't..
    beyond words, hon.

    • Nicolette gold member
      August 13, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Kathleen, thank you, my friend. When I wrote this one my heart really needed some tender loving care... thank you for understanding, my friend


  • autumns rising
    August 13, 2007
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    only your tenderness against arrows and stones

    beautiful line! My favorite out of all of these magical lines. Great job and congrats on the silver


    • Nicolette gold member
      August 13, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much - I appreciate your kind words


  • astralshepherd gold member
    August 13, 2007

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    I saw this posted in the spotlight, someone thought it worth highlighting and am so glad to have seen it. The skill with which you express the heart amazes me. I find so many rare and wonderful images created by your brilliant word choice. It is as if a faraway note or chord is played and my soul resonates in response.

    blessings and best wishes,

    ~r.


    • Nicolette gold member
      August 13, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Richard, thank you very much. Someone was so kind to spotlight this poem and I appreciate your words too.


  • quietly burning
    August 13, 2007

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    like this one very much. it's so very you. do the world and all of us a favour, get yourself published


    • Nicolette gold member
      August 13, 2007
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      Thanks, bb...guess it will do my heart good to get published


  • Cerridweneyes
    August 11, 2007

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    amazing

    for there is only your fire against so many cold things,
    only your tenderness against arrows and stones
    only your glance to uncloud the sun

    absolutely gorgeous. This type of writing is what strive to achieve in my own works. The art of analogy and comparison in poetry in my opinion is one of the most beautiful and flowing types of poetry possible. You are definately an experienced writer, and I will be back to read even more of your work!!! breathtaking...


    • Nicolette gold member
      August 11, 2007
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      Thank you so much for the lovely comment... you put a smile on my face!


  • storiesuntold gold member
    August 10, 2007
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    I was a little confused in the beginning

    Yes I was confused on the start but the end is self explanitory


  • Jalalbad gold member
    August 10, 2007
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    enchanting

    smile,
    Judy


  • brokenangel1490
    August 10, 2007

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    alright

    i like it but there's just something about it that makes me feel like you just got a piece of a paper and wrote it down. it doesn't feel like to me that it came from the heart

    • Nicolette gold member
      August 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the comment... I can assure you that at the time I wrote this poem it really came from my heart because my heart needed some tender loving care at that time.


  • BeyondMoonlight
    August 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Despite its size, this was truly a heart filler.
    Like the others say and I definitely agree, I could read this over and over.
    Very good.

    *Richard


  • Mad Moon silver member
    August 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Nic, I could read this a thousand times, and never tire of it's beauty! You outdid yourself BIG on this one. You are the master of metaphor, indeed. This is soft, sensual, tender, like a warm breeze traveling right through the body. I adore that you did it for your heart, as well. You Go Girl! Brava!! Bookmarking this one for sure!! Love ya Sweet Lady!


    • Nicolette gold member
      August 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, dear Mary - you always warm my heart, lovely one!


  • Dalaney gold member
    August 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Reading this over again...
    Your poetry is treasure found,
    my friend. Each one brings me
    closer to the person, the true
    treasure...you.

    Love, Lane


  • PageTurner
    August 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    I'm Still Tingling...

    You've entered my heart, with your poem for your heart. I bet it's beating more rapidly knowing the high esteem you place on it in your life! So endearing and moving, your words!! Sighhh...

    "unselfed verb of my breast,
    my constant occupation,
    wind-rose of passion,
    dahlia of my scars"

    Such Beauty you share, Nic! I Thank You Nicholas


    • Nicolette gold member
      August 10, 2007
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      Nicholas... thank you, my friend...you do write the most wonderful comments!!


  • Night Hope gold member
    August 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "for there is only your fire against so many cold things,
    only your tenderness against arrows and stones
    only your glance to uncloud the sun"

    Sighhh...Ahhh, this is beauty in motion, let alone poetry. Someone spotlighted this piece, Nic...& rightfully so (no, I don't know who did it, though). It's absolutely gorgeous, my Sister. Reminiscent of Neruda & Paz, but distinct & original, as only you can do, M'Lady. Not meaning to be sexist or anything, but men can dig with a shovel & never go as deep as you do with a soft sweep of a dove's wing. Congrats on your silver, Sweetie. I was pleased to read Nicole Hanna's comment; it should have been recognized sooner...AP should offer a platinum trophy as well. Some of you go far beyond golden status. Just lovely, my Friend. Vlindertjie


  • Cup-a-Joe
    August 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    "unselfed verb of my breast,
    my constant occupation,
    wind-rose of passion,
    dahlia of my scars

    rest on me,
    close all your senses,
    leave your lips half-open"

    That's good stuff...
    Wish i could write like that.
    Joe

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    August 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    A poem for the self from the hallowed place that holds the essence of the poetess,regardless of any placement in contest ( which it is oh so worthy of) the poetess gifts a trophy piece of poetry from the trophy of herself,never do I read your wounds without being moved by the experience and feeling beauty personified,I clutch at trying to define what it is you have but it eludes me,it is enough that it exists resonating on a vibration that is as a symphony for the universe,you make sweet music without any instrument and what is instrumental is the essence of self imbued within.I love your poetry.

    • Nicolette gold member
      August 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Yvette, you do have a gift, my friend...not only to look into the heart of a poem, but also to touch the heart of the poet through your words... thank you so much

  • tigress3737
    August 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wow-very lovely, I especially love the last stanza


  • marc creamore
    August 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    that is supposed to read divinity . . .

  • marc creamore
    August 9, 2007

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    I am beginning to think that you are not a mere mortal, but rather some ethereal angelic be-ing who whispers the poetry of an unseen divity into our hearts and our minds . . . I bow to your gracefulness dear lady!

    • Nicolette gold member
      August 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Marc, you always manage to brighten up my day, my friend. Thank you so much for these beautiful words....you are the smile on my face right now!


  • poet2angels gold member
    August 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully written ...
    So soft and lovely...
    I can see why this won Silver...
    Congrats!

    Lynda


  • SerenityNChains gold member
    August 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    What a poem for such a beautiful heart. You always find the words to describe beauty, that fails so many of us all. I imagine it is because beauty courses your very veins. I will be bookmarking this write, to comfort me in stormy days to come. Bravo my beautiful sister and friend.

    Blessed be,
    Billie Jean

    • Nicolette gold member
      August 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, Billie Jean... I wrote this one at a time for my heart hurt real bad... I hope you get some consolation from it too, my lovely sister and friend

  • celadia
    August 9, 2007
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    Nice

    This is a professional poem. Good work.


  • ellipsist
    August 9, 2007

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    beautiful... your heart deserved

    this...

    you've certainly broken the cliche and you've done a lovely job of it...

    touching and thought provoking...


  • StarEyes
    August 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is deep! I love it! What a great read.

    unselfed verb of my breast,
    my constant occupation,
    wind-rose of passion,
    dahlia of my scars

    rest on me,
    close all your senses,
    leave your lips half-open:

    for there is only your fire against so many cold things,
    only your tenderness against arrows and stones
    only your glance to uncloud the sun

    WOW!!!!!! Congrats on the well deserved Silver!


  • Oisin silver member
    May 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Where does the heart find its resilience? To be so depended and yet be so giving, all at the same time. The nights and the days so depend on the one who makes our heart beat. I do like how your poem shows the love. Excellent.


    • Nicolette gold member
      May 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you friend...you do understand the "mechanisims" of the heart


  • natari
    December 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Perfect

    Your poetry is a work of art.I wonder if you paint? This was absolutely beautiful my friend.I enjyed the ebb and flow of this.Imagery was flawless and the whole poem was like opening a box of chocolates to me.Not the Forrest Gump kind though.
    ~Helen


    • Nicolette gold member
      December 13, 2006
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks, Helen - glad you found some "sweetness" here !! Take care, my friend


  • AJ Morelli gold member
    December 11, 2006
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    Yes

  • drhemantvinze
    December 11, 2006
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    drhemantvinze

    A self explanatory subtulty

  • meena krish
    December 10, 2006

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    I love the grace and beauty in this write. It wraps around
    like a softness no one wants to part from..excellent write and
    congratulations on the winning the silver.
    Take care.


  • mtpoet
    December 4, 2006
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    I am always captured by the woman poet who speaks an honesty that is beyond questioning...

  • ea silver member
    December 2, 2006
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    lovely, especially in that last stanza -- wow. Well done on the silver, Nicolette.


  • wolfspiritguide
    December 2, 2006
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    gratz on silver, really great write!

  • Nicole Hanna
    November 29, 2006

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    Im appalled this isn't in the finalist list. Ugh. Makes me sick to think this hasn't been recognized for being one of the best love poems written in a very very long time. I suppose poets can be found in all sorts, as can bad judges of good poetry. lol. This was absolutely stunning my darling, and it's definitely a winner in my book, regardless.

    • Nicolette gold member
      November 29, 2006
      Edit | Reply
      Anasuya, thank you so much. I appreciate those words from you as you know that I admire your poetic abilities! Yeah, one can't win them all !! Thanks dear ~


  • Iohagh
    November 28, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    Magic words

    Darling Nicolette

    Your composition reaches out
    turning me towards you
    in composed silent shouts
    intelligently as you do.

    Smoosh

    Janet

  • Son of Jim
    November 26, 2006

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    Nicolette,
    this poem really made me work, and work, and then I checked out the contest and worked some more. It's not all that often I feel foolish trying to figure something out, but I did. I couldn't let go and just feel past the word verb for some reason, my logic at work again, my weakness. You have truly written a piece that uses fresh images, and fresh ideas to convey your point.
    Characteristically of your work, the use of flowers and color references really take it a step farther, but truly for me, even though the entire poem is great, the phrase, "only your tenderness agains arrow and stones" is the poem quality maker, maybe not message maker but my favorite one in the entire poem.
    Jim

    • Nicolette gold member
      November 27, 2006
      Edit | Reply
      Jim, you write the most amazing comments and you have such a wonderful eye for poetry. Thank you, my friend ~


  • shadowedlight
    November 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    this poem is very well done,
    i know its picky...but you need to change the title to remove the word "heart"

    other than that,
    its a beautiful entry
    (please let me know when you change the title


  • TanyaB
    November 22, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    This makes me want to cuddle up with my sweetie after a long and difficult day, and just be - together. Simple yet beautiful piece evoking sweet emotions.


  • rollingzen
    November 20, 2006
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    elegant


  • kala chimera
    November 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautiful write. I especially like the line "for there is only your fire against so many cold things". I could feel the love apparent from this write.


  • michellemybelle gold member
    November 20, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    as your other poems, this is original, definately not cliche. I find this brings many emotions all at once...tender yet strong warm yet sad...much like womanhood

    unselfed verb of my breast
    I love this line and how you use flowers peppered through.
    Good luck in the contest, not that you need luck, your writing stands alone.


    • Nicolette gold member
      November 21, 2006

      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, mwestcar for the lovely comment - glad you liked my flowers! ~


  • Endeavor gold member
    November 20, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    .

    Wonderfull crafting of words

    That is two in a row, I will add you to my favorites

    rest on me,
    close all your senses,
    leave your lips half-open:

    for there is only your fire against so many cold things,
    only your tenderness against arrows and stones
    only your glance to uncloud the sun


    Lovely

    Rick


    • Nicolette gold member
      November 21, 2006
      Edit | Reply
      Rick, thank you very much for the kind comment - I'm honoured ~


  • tanzanite
    November 19, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    Awesome

    If a word could paint a thousand emotions, yours do exactly that. You lift me into an alternate universe with the beauty of the images that come alive with the brush you use to delight us all. This is another winner, but since it is not what it is about, I would like to urge you to get published. You are a stellar experience to read.

    • Nicolette gold member
      November 19, 2006
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, tanzanite. You always shower me with such kindness. Thank you for making me smile in capital letters!


  • Blue-Raven
    November 19, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    The title of this really caught me so i thought I would read it. I really liked this. It was deep in my opinion and you wrote it in a way not many people write anymore. I think you did an awesome job. I cant wait to read more from you.

    -Angeline


    • Nicolette gold member
      November 19, 2006
      Edit | Reply
      Angeline, thank you very much for the kind comment. Best wishes ~


  • Despairkitty
    November 18, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    I liked this piece for it could be interpreted so many ways. I didnt rise to that height for this contest. Mine is quite transparent I believe. This was lovely and I wish you luck in this contest.
    Despair


    • Nicolette gold member
      November 18, 2006
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, Despair - you are way too kind. Many wishes to you too ~


  • klassy lassy
    November 18, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    Self connecting

    No one writes the way you do, Nicolette. Your soft style just wraps my thoughts and holds them as the wordpaint unfolds in slow motion, mesmerizing like a burning candle reflected in an infinity mirror, and I am the mirror..."for there is only your fire against so many cold things," where eternal flame burns the chaff.


    • Nicolette gold member
      November 18, 2006
      Edit | Reply
      Karen...I simply love your comments, I simply love your heart...thank you...


  • Catressa gold member
    November 17, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    Breathless

    Oh honey I am completely awed by this.. It is in essence everything that is a Woman, if that makes any sense to you. It has needs, it offers love and makes you want to surrender.

    I loved it.


    • Nicolette gold member
      November 18, 2006
      Edit | Reply
      Catressa...thank you for understanding my essence and the essence of all women...


  • Twinstar
    November 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent! Gracefully written!

    A beautiful and well thought out piece, with the right words and just enough of them to bring the emotion right to the surface. always a pleasure to read your poems.
    love & Light
    Debbera


    • Nicolette gold member
      November 18, 2006
      Edit | Reply
      Debbera - thank you so much for your kindness - take care ~


  • kaibab silver member
    November 17, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    I imagine you,

    a gown of night to smile
    embarrassed like stars
    between iris
    and aperture to open,

    curling lash
    to flutter wings,

    silent strokes of shutter closing
    recorded miracle in material frame,

    saving elegance for wisdom,

    another moment
    captured light would love to touch
    and keep forever,

    so I might hold you.



    • Nicolette gold member
      November 18, 2006
      Edit | Reply
      Rich, that is so beautiful, my friend...a poem for a poem...


  • bluejeans51
    November 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Your welcome Nicolett


  • poetryality silver member
    November 17, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    Elegant!

    *rest on me,
    close all your senses,
    leave your lips half-open*

    A thunerous line my friend. Simply elegant! The entire work enraptures the reader. This is most soothing. Brilliant! Ahhh


    • Nicolette gold member
      November 18, 2006
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much, Renee - you've always been so good to my heart!


  • TheFlawedOne
    November 17, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    True Beauty

    I loved this poem. I think you 'broke the clique' quite well. This poem makes me feel hopeful. I don't know why though but it does. It's truly a work of art.
    Have a dreamy day,
    ~*Blushful Lie*~

    • Nicolette gold member
      November 17, 2006
      Edit | Reply

      Blushful Lie

      Thank you, Blushful Lie, for the beautiful comment. Yes, I think this poem is hopeful - kind of like a conversation with my heart. Take care ~


  • bluejeans51
    November 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Lovely Poem

    rather joyful and mournful. Good luck with the contest!!


    • Nicolette gold member
      November 17, 2006
      Edit | Reply

      bluejeans51

      Thank you, bluejeans, you are spot on in your interpretation ~

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    November 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Poetry In Motion

    This is poetry in motion,the reader is left with lips half open,ready to sigh,smile and grin at the beauty of such well writen poetry that it almost feels an honour to read.Spill ink and let it sigh in the moment as majestically as you do,love and light,Yvette

    • Nicolette gold member
      November 17, 2006
      Edit | Reply
      Yvette, thank you for placing the smiles of your heart here on this page too - and for your gracious words. Love and light to you too ~


  • Whispering Wind Moderators member
    November 17, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    very beautiful

    a poem of true love.one that can fix anything with just the touch of a hand.someone you can rest with in time of need.wonderfully writing


    • Nicolette gold member
      November 17, 2006
      Edit | Reply

      Tender wolf

      Thank you, Tender wolf, for your beautiful comment. Take care ~

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