The flame licks it's surroundings with untamed heat,
Like a man thrashing in his jail cell.
It had one sole purpose;
To burn through the solid.
To waste away everything it was given in the beginning.
It flickers in sequences;
Moods changing from calm to upset,
Knowing at any moment, it could falter.
So it does the only thing it can;
Violently, it searches for something new.
Something to grasp onto, and desperately hold on.
To keep it from dying.
Dying...
But then it sees its failure,
For it's flames begin to fade.
It can feel it's own heart receding into nothingness.
Helplessly, it gains one final attempt at redemption.
Seeming as though it's screaming to be whole once more.
Yet, in a flash, it's gone.
The remains find peace alongside air.
It is empty; forbidden from returning.
It's smell is the only thing that lingers.
It has been silenced once again.
The feeling of loneliness overcomes its death.
And as I sit here, watching, memorizing every move,
I wonder...
I wonder if that flame could really not be all that different from me.
A contest entry
- WOW Me 2 by Lactar Wolfgang.
425 points, ended April 1, 2007, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Everything deserves a chance, right? by ObliviousReality.
600 points, ended April 8, 2007, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Very Best (pre-writes allowed) by Dark Whispers.
377 points, ended April 16, 2007, 89 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show me UNIQUE!!! Can you think outside the box we call poetry? by Amy Meneses.
1000 points, ended October 3, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Personify! by BellaD.
800 points, ended July 15, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your favorite Prewrite by SignifyingNothing.
875 points, ended August 9, 2008, 112 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This is powerful. I love the use of the metaphor of the fire to symbolize your (the poem's speaker's) life and struggles with life. This was a very interesting write, and definitely worthy of the trophy it won. Thank you for entering, this was a really good poem.
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But then it sees its failure,
For it's flames begin to fade.
It can feel it's own heart receding into nothingness.
Helplessly, it gains one final attempt at redemption.
to fail and look for redemption
is something that this reminds me of -
I really love the first half of this poem, but for me it would have been more powerful to stop after the lines,
To keep it from dying.
Dying...
After that point, it seemed as if you started to tell more than show, which the first half did so beautifully.
Thank you for entering my contest. -
wow I like the personification you used in here, and the figurative language. Excellent poem, loved the ending, and the description in here. Lovely job, thanx for entering and good luck
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Now this was a awesome poem. I loved the way you desribed the flames one desire. Thank you for entering a wonderful write.
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Beautiful
WOW! this is incredible. the way it flowed, as well as how it kept in theme and dove inside of the mind was designed beautifully. I will always think of flames in a different way now. i was impressed with the comparison between the life of a flame, and your life...it was put together and expressed very well!
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