This steady pulse spiked at the site of thee...
Why can't I make it stop...
Even at the site or thought
I can't compress it's feelings.
Shall this be the life or death of thy soul?
Warm light come hiter and leave me never,
Just as thee have for moments ago.
More afraid of things to end than things to come.
Shadow thy fall for I fear it'll come quick and silent.
Only once hath it been as such and that sadly is long gone.
Joy in what may,
yet fear shall overide and also in its discourage.
Am I a fool for thy thoughts concieved?
Or is it thy silent whisper protecting thy subtle heart?
Thy stupidity hath always overruled thee.
Oh THE LOVE prithy I pray,
Help thy over come and understand.
Author notes
This is about my ex boyfriend... I wrote it before I started going out with him. I miss him.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This is quite an interesting way of writing about your feeling while I am not too much on old type poetry I quite like this one, may be I would suggest that you split it in short sentence to have a more appealing presentation something like this may be...
This steady pulse spiked at the site of thee...
why can't I make it stop...
even at the site or thought
I can't compress it's feelings.
Shall this be the life or death of thy soul?
Warm light come hiter and leave me never,
just as thee have for moments ago.
More afraid of things to end than things to come.
It is just a suggestion because I feel the compact form discourage the reader to read further, if you see my poetry I present a lot of shorts sentences and I often centre it I think it makes it easier for the reader to go through it. I will be please if let me know what you think on the subject. Over all your writing is really good and you have a huge potential.
Doomday.
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