God, bless
This, heart of stone
colored bone
Some treasure chest
Time, space
Oh, what a waste
of saving face
Burn the books I've read
Please tell me what you see
When you push through
to the other side
A temporary ride, temporary ride
temporary ride
Heaven, hell
A two for one
From the sun
Now that's a sale
Ocean, air
Now, that's a pair
worse for wear
Please excuse the pun
Please tell me what you see
When you push through
to the other side
A temporary ride, temporary ride
temporary ride
Author notes
Written November 15th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- My Senses Fail When You're Around. by Name-Amby-Pleasex.
300 points, ended December 9, 2006, 16 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Temporary is a state of mind, not of time.
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out of sight out of mind.
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Nice
Temporary moments aren't for sale. -
a smooth trip for this reader. loved the flow. the chorus/repeating stanza is my favorite. hear it tuned low in my head. i'll shut up now. really liked this.
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Good. Flows well. Rhyme used nicely. Emotions good. Really like the title.
Well Done
Luff
Amby
[x][x][x]
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What's up goodlookin'?
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Eh
I'd missed this one... I had you on my favorites, but I guess you posted the more recent one before I got to see it... I didn't love it, as I've loved your other ones... it was just... eh... ok. But still worthy of applause, I think.
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I guess you'd have to hear it.
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I'm pissed. I mention that only cos the box tells me I have to say something other than applause. this was very good
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Oh! I can see what you mean now about temporary ride meaning life! Silly me.
But it still sounds sad...
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These are song lyrics, huh? Does that mean you'll be recording music for it soon? It was strange because when I read this piece I could actually pick up a rhythmn of some sort for this. I don't know if it's the one you intended but that's pretty good for me. I don't know why no one else has commented on this but it might be because of all the icky site changes. What is Kevin's problem anyways? The site was nice before. I wish he'd stop trying to make it ugly. But I was reading this and I have to say that I was confused. Because you were talking about God and bones and a temporary ride. So I was thinking that maybe you were talking like you wanted to die or something. But when you said temporary, that didn't make so much sense. Then I read about having a heart of stone and how time and space seemed a waste and you were also saying how ocean and air seemed ridiculous... I don't know. Maybe you're talking about a broken heart? Are you broken hearted? That's the way people talk when they're very sad about something.
I hope you aren't sad. Are you ok? I don't know if I made any sense. I was just trying to figure this out. Tell me if I got close. And I hope that you are ok!
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