I falter, stumbling across driftwood
legs and he breaks the fall with
nothing more than the sound of his voice,
the taunt, taunt, taunting of laughter
that itches its way
into every inch of skin
until I am crawled with the lice
of sarcasm--
what is left, when we believed in l
ove so much it broke?
Cold shattered upon our warm
breath and we left the pieces for strangers
to scrape into the dumpster
too blind to trust, too mute to protest;
distance replaces
fingers-
hands left to their own devices;
we have begun to swallow
the sin of others.
He makes jokes in the stead of love
five minute tricks
in the dark
& we're off
to entertain ourselves,
alone.
Travelling in separate compartments-
his destination lets off
somewhere before mine
and I watch him depart
with the detached of one
who's watched
the scene enacted, before.
Last words scrawled
on the fogged window,
not enough respect left
to waste words
stating what's already obvious--
sold his possessions
in the spring,
rummage sale ending
20 dollars in pocket change.
Author notes
Just playing with the past. It's what I'm good at.
free memberships suck.
Written November 15th, 2006
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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a truly great poem, it drew me in and held me there, and not many poems can do that. thank you very much for your entry, and good luck
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I love this, its beautiful, the more I read good poetry the more i realise I cant write anymore. I know that this poem is more than words, its art
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It's so nice and worthwhile to read!After reading your piece, it reached my feelings for many reasons... very touching it made me picture the situation and feel the emotions....Wish you love,light, life and pleasure!!!
GRACE -
awesome
I really love the strength of your voice throughout the poem. You took a bad situation and found the fortitude to move on. You added a little humor as well. I think this is great writing. You are truly gifted. I love the darkness of the poem. Then at the very end there is the light that he only received pocket change for all his worldly possessions. Bravo. This is truly wonderful. -
Wow
What a powerful poem. Leaves me with a very empty feeling that is almost tangible. You are going to be a famous poet some day.
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A time line poem and I like it, the journey you describe works well in this form and it is well written.
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interesting
and here I wondered where Jess, one of my favorite adopted daughters picked her style up from. And now I know! You were a great influence on her. I owe you
JD
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I especaiily like S1. I would trim down the rest of the poem. But of course it is my opnion. I want to feel without drowning, or at least drown to relive. Enjoyed lots, Maria
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This is a time-line poem. Which is why some parts are indented more. Each one is a mini poem to tell the whole story. S1 isn't really a stanza, it's a mini poem.
Thank you.
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You are AMAZING!
"what is left, when we believed in l
ove so much it broke."
Very clever the way these lines are written where you write and break up the word; "love".
You did well toying with past memories. They do drift to the surface every now and again to remind us of some things that we'll never be forgotten.
Excellent musing my friend. I always leave your pages wishing I could write my thoughts out to this extent.
Blessings & Love ♥
Renee
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Thank you. 
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meli!!! i do need some wall space left you know 
x -
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LOL Well, you are saved. This would have to be framed into two different ones, so it shall remain unwalled.
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how is the new free one?
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Well, you get plain backgrounds now. Which is one of the major reasons I had silver. We can catagorize our own poems, so as long as you use a catagory that you came up with, it's almost like being in a list (and the old ones still show that they are in a list)... I never posted pics on my stuff, so the only thing I'm really missing is the italics/bold... but I can do those in messages and in the forums (which I never used until I started bitching about the upgrade)...
It's not as noticable between free and silver. Golds still think they have a lofty status, but silvers have melted into free accounts.
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LOVED IT
lol your note cracked me up about free memberships sucking. hahaha... because last week my silver expired and i thought... ugggghhhhh... it sucks. i went and renewed. lol
anywho... to your poem [ever notice i always ramble... i have to stop that]
I really liked the whole thing.
Favorite part:
what is left, when we believed in l
ove so much it broke.
I thought it was so clever to separate "love" awesome work Meli!
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Actually, now that the site switched over... being free isn't that bad. I won't renew my membership now.
Thank you. This sort of ended up getting lost in the shuffle of the upgrade...
I wasn't sure if the love line was understood... I'm glad that you got that.
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This is what I love about you...
the taunt, taunt, taunting of laughter
that itches its way
into every inch of skin
until I am crawled with the lice
of sarcasm--
Wonderful write as I knew it would be...Trina
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i really liked this poem although i think i had a very limited understanding of it either way good right j
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I like it...a lot. I love how you use the rummage sale at the end....it was just (to me) a suttle way of saying "up yours" if you know what i mean. Nice job
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