Confusion rips at my mind,
Fear tugs at my heart.
To say that I love him,
Would break us apart.
Living a life on the other side
Veiling the truth behind the lies
Tears slide, spill and fall
Because of this secret I hide
I yearn to have him by my side
To feel our fingers intertwine
To caress his soft sweet lips
As his mouth covers mine
But it’s only a reverie
To numb down the pain
Of knowing I can never have him
Im going quietly insane
And the guilt is unbearable
I can’t tell you what’s in my heart
‘Cause to say that I love him
Would break us apart.
Author notes
Written November 15th, 2006
A contest entry
- My Own Kind of Love by Paradise Prisoner.
1000 points, ended November 15, 2006, 59 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - *...x.x.[[L - O - V - E]].x.x...* by xXxSilentCryxXx.
360 points, ended January 4, 2007, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - III Pre-Writes! by Lj-.
345 points, ended January 7, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter Your Best Prewrite by xxRainbowDawnxx.
300 points, ended February 25, 2007, 105 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 34 of 34
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I can totally relate to this. It's heartbreaking when someone you love is right there, but you can't tell them how much you love them because it would just ruin everything. As I've said in the past, love is a glass castle, and all glass castles must break. I absolutely adored this piece. Wonderful write! ♥
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I can relate to this extremely well, almost hauntingly well... I am going out with someone but love someone else, and I know it would split us up... I also know that the other guy doesn't and wont feel the same way, so it wouldn't work... It hurts a lot keeping it a secret and just holding the knowledge inside.
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Intense
I loved it, another,of many, great writes. Keep it up, and let the feelings flow. I am always here if you ever want ti talk.~LPM~ -
This was really great.
You wrote this piece really well.
My favorite lines were:
"Of knowing I can never have him
Im going quietly insane."
Thanks for entering my contest.
Best of luck!
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Wow. I really liked this poem. I like how you made the rhyme work as well. Forbidden love can be so tragic and I think you captured that in this poem. Great job.
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Thanks for your comment, greatly appreciated!
Shady Lane
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Aawww this poem was really sadd.. It nearly made me cry. Its hard to not be able to be with the person that you love.
Thank you for entering.
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Thanks for your comment!
Shady Lane
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It's not going to break us apart...
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Im sorry...i didn't mean for it to happen.
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you could of told me
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I was going to...but i dunno if you remember outside of target I asked you about it...if you'd mind if one of us did go out with him...you didn't seem to like the idea, judging by the words you used. lol
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but u arent datin him... u hav ac rush on him... difference?
btw scott didnt tell me.. he wantd me 2 make sure i sed that -
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Yes...I know that...da crush thingy....I just got put off is all...
P.s...I believe you. -
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outside target? i dont rememba that....
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Mmm....we were waiting for Tasha to come through the Check-Out. cyaz
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This is your 3rd poem I've read, and so glad I decided to check you out...a beautifully sad poem of hidden love, you put so much real emotion into your work, fav lines...
I can’t tell you what’s in my heart
‘Cause to say that I love him
Would break us apart.
The whole poem is summed up in these three lines, you are a very talented poet, who is giving me so much to think about, Thanks for the pleasure of the read
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Hey. Thanks for your comment. Im gald you liked it....thanks for your kind words too. I don't really believe I am all that talented, but thanks!
Shady
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wow
Oh my fuckin gosh! thats sooo perfect! lyk its sad and all..
if u need sum1 2 talk 2 im ere 
i wont bite
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Thanks for your comment and your kind words. I really appreciate it, thank you.
Shady
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wow
this starts off really intence
and the rest follows through really nicely~
I can’t tell you what’s in my heart
‘Cause to say that I love him
Would break us apart.
it sounds so impossible. but it happens way to often.
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a great poem about forbidden love, and how to shoeit would bring your world down. it flows well throughout, and the rhyming is near perfect. a great write, i loved the part;
And the guilt is unbearable
I can’t tell you what’s in my heart
it really shows your emotions well
keep it up!
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Thanks, for your kind words! Muchly appreciated.
Shady
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Ello
whos dis gud peice of writin bout?
go check out my work sumtime aye?
Luv duckable -
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My secret *shhhhh* lol.
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awww... but ur so mean
hi there
im fuckable duckable.. duckies alias will u tell me? duckie wont eva find out
lol -
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Hehe
Sure sure F.D One day. maybe. Not yet. XD Secrets are fun....to da secret keeper anyway. lol
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I like this. Its brillaint! Your poem flows very well. You have such a great talent! I'm sure many people can relate to this. I have been in this position before and the feelings.. the emotional stress you go through.. it drives you insane like you metioned. But feelings pass and its all good now. Anyway Keep up the brilliant writting
Blessed be
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Hey. Thanks. Yeh, feelings do pass...which can sometimes be the good or bad thing, wow, I think I just confused myself, lol. Thanks again.
Shady
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wow! the flow of this poem entices me. i love how u captivated me with your words!very good write. i'll be back for more!
~erica~
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Thanks a bunch! Glad you liked it.
Shady
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Hey, thanks! Yeah I understand that I should tell him, but Im a guy and he's a guy...can you kinda see the problem? I just don't need him to hate me but he probably won't have a problem with knowing that i like him. The main problem is that someone else wouldn't be too happy with me...I really want to tell them but I get a feeling that I shouldn't, not for a while at least.
Shady
Edited on Nov 15, 8:34 p.m. because ''. -
great!!
brilliant poem, i can really relate to this poem as ive had to hide my feelings about the person i loved once, i know its really hard, but whats even harder is ot telling them that you love them, you never know they could feel the same. If you think there is a chance then maybe you should stop hurting yourself by hiding the truth and tell this person how you really feel. i hope everything works out ok, this is a great poem.xx -
Amazing
That's amazing. Like seriously. It's cute too.
Amazing write tommy!
Luv Duckable...
&&& Cazza
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