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Break Me

Like the platter you threw at Christmas

Like the door frame you shattered with my back

Like you know that I'll never leave you

You waited until my every resolve had cracked

Like the ashtray that fractured my cheekbone

Like the vase that held my daisies

Like every girl before me

I know I must be crazy

Like two ribs and one wrist

Like three knuckles in your right hand,

That connected your anger to my face,

And left me barely breathing in the sand

Like you know that I'll never leave you

Like you know that I'll never try

Who have I to run away to?

On whose shoulder can I cry?

Like I thought that we were perfect

Though now I see that's wrong

Like you never meant to hurt me

Even when you knew you would all along

Like the bruises that slowly fade

Like the broken beat of something dead

Like you never meant for it to go this far

As my eyes close forever in my head

I was perfect when I met you

I just didn't know it yet

Now I'm bruised, bloody, broken

Laying cold, dead, and wet.

Break me like you will always be.

A contest entry

Give it to me straight Doc: Whaddya think??

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13
  • Ms. Badass.

    ...I like the flow and gentle rhyme of this write.
    ...it trickles down... settles...

    then your final line.
    A somewhat clumsy sentence... but purposefully so...
    I believe.

    "Break me like you will always be"

    ...a soft uppercut to the face...
    (grins)
    ...right at the end.

    I am a big fan of this one too.
    ...so very well done.


  • Not-The-Sun silver member
    August 15

    Edit | Reply
    wow deep poem I reallly liked "Like you know that I'll never leave you

    Like you know that I'll never try" These lines describe abuse victims very well. I also like the line "Like you never meant for it to go this far". You put a lot of thought into this piece and I'm surprised it didn't win a trophy in that contest the last line is cold towards the abuser and the title fits well. I really enjoyed the spacing of this and the repetition of "Like" didn't get old at all; in fact, you gave it a whole new face! Terrificly done


  • EbonyQueen48
    June 18

    Edit | Reply
    is this poem true?? it shows alot of physical abuse, it is very creative though. I like the fact that you used metaphors, you seem to be a unique young lady with a story to tell, your writing tells a story as well, great job!! look forward to reading many mor

  • this is very deep and saddening. There is NO excuse for abuse. Of ANY kind, emotional, sexual, physical. I myself have been a victim of all three. This really hit a nerve. You did an AMAZING job writing it. Keep up your amazing work!

    TwiztidMaggot


  • dwellondreams
    April 30

    Edit | Reply
    This is powerful. Beautifully written, but an awful story. If it is true, I sincerely hope you can get out. If it's not, even more impressive, that you can embrace such a strong concept and write so beautifully about it.

  • Ouch. That is... It's beautiful, but it hurts, you know?
    -gives jelly babies-

  • Powerfully write keep up the great work. This was different and that made me like it. But you did use the word like a little to much but i think that made it unique. I wish you the best of luck in my contest and thank you for entering this piece.

    *~*bee*~*


  • poetictears1222
    February 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is really good. I like your style, and for someone who has never been in an abusive relationship, you describe the situation with stunning clarity


  • Maili Knephthan gold member
    February 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This was right on the money. I was abused by my husband and he did most of these things to me. I identified with this all the way.


  • Blonde Babe 08
    November 24, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, that was alot of emotion into this one poem! There really is no wrods to describe the feeling i felt as I read this.


  • breebarile
    November 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    this is a stupid qustion, but.................


  • Gwenevere
    November 19, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    Although you have not been in this situation, many have and you describe it very weel.so many abused women fail to leave even when their lives are in danger.there seems to be some invisible rope that ties them to their partner.Perhaps they think they will change.Take it from me, they won't.The only thing to do is to get as far away as possible.The thing to remember is that not all men are the same.Some can be loving and trustworthy.You have painted a strong message.Thankyou for sharing, Ros


  • Ceasement
    November 19, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    I like how you wrote this; it has the semblance of someone telling their story. It's very well balanced, too. Even though you said that there isn't anyone in your life like that, it does make me think about all the people out there who do. Love the poem; great work!

    - Reiyn

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