Like the platter you threw at Christmas
Like the door frame you shattered with my back
Like you know that I'll never leave you
You waited until my every resolve had cracked
Like the ashtray that fractured my cheekbone
Like the vase that held my daisies
Like every girl before me
I know I must be crazy
Like two ribs and one wrist
Like three knuckles in your right hand,
That connected your anger to my face,
And left me barely breathing in the sand
Like you know that I'll never leave you
Like you know that I'll never try
Who have I to run away to?
On whose shoulder can I cry?
Like I thought that we were perfect
Though now I see that's wrong
Like you never meant to hurt me
Even when you knew you would all along
Like the bruises that slowly fade
Like the broken beat of something dead
Like you never meant for it to go this far
As my eyes close forever in my head
I was perfect when I met you
I just didn't know it yet
Now I'm bruised, bloody, broken
Laying cold, dead, and wet.
Break me like you will always be.
A contest entry
- Second Annual April is Abuse Awearness Month. by FallenFromGrace1102.
1000 points, ended May 10, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Give it to me straight Doc: Whaddya think??
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
-
Ms. Badass.
...I like the flow and gentle rhyme of this write.
...it trickles down... settles...
then your final line.
A somewhat clumsy sentence... but purposefully so...
I believe.
"Break me like you will always be"
...a soft uppercut to the face...
(grins)
...right at the end.
I am a big fan of this one too.
...so very well done.

-
wow deep poem
I reallly liked "Like you know that I'll never leave you
Like you know that I'll never try" These lines describe abuse victims very well. I also like the line "Like you never meant for it to go this far". You put a lot of thought into this piece and I'm surprised it didn't win a trophy in that contest
the last line is cold towards the abuser and the title fits well. I really enjoyed the spacing of this and the repetition of "Like" didn't get old at all; in fact, you gave it a whole new face! Terrificly done


-
is this poem true?? it shows alot of physical abuse, it is very creative though. I like the fact that you used metaphors, you seem to be a unique young lady with a story to tell, your writing tells a story as well, great job!! look forward to reading many mor
-
this is very deep and saddening. There is NO excuse for abuse. Of ANY kind, emotional, sexual, physical. I myself have been a victim of all three. This really hit a nerve. You did an AMAZING job writing it. Keep up your amazing work!
TwiztidMaggot -
This is powerful. Beautifully written, but an awful story. If it is true, I sincerely hope you can get out. If it's not, even more impressive, that you can embrace such a strong concept and write so beautifully about it.


-
Ouch. That is... It's beautiful, but it hurts, you know?
-gives jelly babies- -
Powerfully write keep up the great work. This was different and that made me like it. But you did use the word like a little to much but i think that made it unique. I wish you the best of luck in my contest and thank you for entering this piece.
*~*bee*~* -
This is really good. I like your style, and for someone who has never been in an abusive relationship, you describe the situation with stunning clarity
-
This was right on the money. I was abused by my husband and he did most of these things to me. I identified with this all the way.


-
Wow, that was alot of emotion into this one poem! There really is no wrods to describe the feeling i felt as I read this.
-
this is a stupid qustion, but.................
-
Although you have not been in this situation, many have and you describe it very weel.so many abused women fail to leave even when their lives are in danger.there seems to be some invisible rope that ties them to their partner.Perhaps they think they will change.Take it from me, they won't.The only thing to do is to get as far away as possible.The thing to remember is that not all men are the same.Some can be loving and trustworthy.You have painted a strong message.Thankyou for sharing, Ros
-
I like how you wrote this; it has the semblance of someone telling their story. It's very well balanced, too. Even though you said that there isn't anyone in your life like that, it does make me think about all the people out there who do. Love the poem; great work!
- Reiyn
1 - 13 of 13













