Something with a meaning
deeper than the surface.
Do not keep me reading,
if you do not have a purpose.
Can you teach me things?
Or are those thoughts worthless?
I want you to be real.
Don't conform to the norm.
If you can't make me feel,
let the storm be reborn.
Your message keeps repeating
I think you must be nervous...
of course your heart is bleeding
I've already heard this.
Your silent words are screaming.
This world is but a circus.
We work so hard for things
hardly worth the purchase.
I need you to be real.
Quit acting like the others.
Forced to hide how you feel,
Your rage is building thunder.
Something with a meaning
deeper than the purpose.
If you're smart you'll keep digging
further than the surface.
Silent words are screaming
hoping that you heard this.
My message keeps repeating
because currently it's urgent.
Author notes
Written November 14th, 2006
A contest entry
- Razzle Dazzle Me by Ashriel-Silvermoon.
350 points, ended November 20, 2006, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
-
Exceptional
This is the kind of relationship I like, also.
-
YEAHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!
I always try to see if there's a deeper meaning within every message I read and although this might not have been your intent, to me this seems to touch on the subject of hoping there is a God... a reason to feel really happy to be alive. This I know because I was once a Christian and started to see "God" as being "unGodly" for way too many reasons meanwhile I did exceedingly well during school, but realized that I can still be a very wealthy 3D Graphic Artist without trying to keep above a 70 percent average by which I got accept to do so... but a student decided to take out his anger at me when all the time I could have helped him out like everybody else I did. Anyhow, that's a whole other story.
But I have to admit... the only line that I found to not match up to my perception of this happens to be...
Forced to hide how you feel
-
i like your rhymes
they arent childish and you make them subtle so as not to ruin the mood of the poem.
-
This is my favorite because it means to me that we need someone whose not so shallow as most people. this is really really good exactly what i like. i'm jealous of the last stanza
-
This is fantastically incredible.
You really have a powerful and beautiful way of writing. I'm in love with your style. The message here is very clear and it keeps running through my mind. Very nice.
-
OMG!!!!!!!!!
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS POEM!! IT IS MY ALL TIME FAVORITE!!And i love the background too!! it is so deep!!
-
This was a very powerful piece. You've done a good job on this, and I wish you luck in the contest.
-
Wow this is a wonderful peice. It flows so nicely. I really really love it. Great job!
-
Wow, stunning piece of writing!
My favourite is the last stanza of the poem, urging you to dig deeper and to find a meaning.
V -
Superb/Fun/Intriguing/Unique
Wow, very well done indeed. I liked your imagery and the flow of ideas was excellant. -
Precise, precocious, and penetrating. This poem is unsually cool. I like it a lot. thanks for sharing such words and thought with me. You have such an inventive style! Very unique and quite refreshing! There is such an amazing power in the imagery you have woven into this piece - so very surreal. I really enjoyed this... It made me stop and think. That is something that really makes for a fantastic read. To slow down, and enjoy something fresh and vivid.there is no doubt you are in control of your pen and know just where to take us. Great piece!
-
whoot friggin whoot whoot comment my stuff? thankies ♥'s *~Windy~*
Adding your comment:
1 - 12 of 12
