Lost in my confusion in a world of dieing bliss
My lips are bleeding from your sinful kiss.
My wounds break open pouring out lies you want to hear
The feeling of resentment is lingering near.
A broken line of pain is being drawn upon my heart
This beautiful tragedy is internally tearing me apart.
All the horrible memories from my past are hanging close by
Waiting to destroy my triumphs and awaiting my happiness to die.
I keep all my emotions hidden behind a wall
I'm standing still but everything around me begins to fall.
My heart bursts into a million pieces each one falling to the floor right in front of you
Tears pour from my eyes I've given up there's nothing anyone can do.
Too much confusing is fluttering around inside my cluttered mind
I'll rip out my tattered heart and leave it for you to find.
No more yelling and screaming not one more pointless fight
All alone crying to absolutely no one in the night.
Author notes
umm...yeah...! 
Written November 13th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
Quite Tragic
Love it, nice words to rhyme, but i agree with Wings of lead, the overall uniform of the poem is strung out and sloppy. You have talent. Write something about us and make it colorful and happy. I love you baby.
-
It's OK
Your poem's good, but to help you as a poet there's one thing I noticed. Your lines aren't uniform; it's much better when they can be read and are close in length, it helps the overall flow of the poem. Also I think you should try branching off and writing some new types of poetry. I myself think that the dark stuff is the best but everyone needs a little variation in life and you don't want to be one of those "Broken" people with just a bunch of suicide and sadness poems. Use some positive part of your life as inspiration and try something new.
-
beautifull
Tiffy this was beautifuly written and i loved it, i know we arnt really close anymore but i just want you to know that i am always here you if you ever feel that you need to talk..i will always lissen and be opened minded...
Love, your Bre Bre
-
fantastic
wwwwwwwwwwwwwoooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!! I think i've found my new fave poem!!!! can i borrow it to put on the front of my page its amazing!!! so powerful!!!! -
Chilling and powerfully emotional
This is very inpressive. I only hope you havn't been hurt that much at such a young age. You have expressed your emotions supurbly well through imagery, with my favourite part being "My lips are bleeding from your sinful kiss." very expresionate!!.
Over all think this is a great poem.
my only suggestion would be on line 13 you have written confusing this may sound better as confusion
Well done..
-
Nice. I can relate. this is a really great wirte u got some talent here... Great write
-
great
great write.. -
wow! really good poem!
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
