hypnotic
Used in the treatment of insomnia
Treatment should follow a 2 week course, followed by re-assessment
[so what of all the other nights?]
High dependency
Severe drowsiness
Excessive doses leave patient in comatosed state
[comatosed - doesn't that sound just delicious]
Review my case notes doctor, I'm back again
re-dress the lacerations please,
And pump me full of saline
Be glad it wasn't the fucking window this time
Swallow down these bitter little pieces of solid slumber
Trap me in subconsciousness.
Not missing, just not there.
Patient will lose consciousness and all reflex reactions
Shut me off from this world,
Inside my own mind.
This is delicious, this - fake death.
And "hypnotic" - isn't that a beautiful state.
That something has confused my mind and broken through
And has lulled it into silence.
Remove my bodily functions. starve my organs
[you've been doing a good enough job of that yourself]
Fill my blood with toxins, just to make it less poisonous
Coax me - come on, away.
Eyelids droop, and enjoy those last few seconds of the Earth.
DO you think its bright, where that takes you?
Do you wake up on a table - or a slab.
Will i wake up dead? or will my brain, still deceased,
Keep on going.
Bring me this fake death, to absorb this fake life.
Slow down my breathing, my thoughts, my heart
My liver.
Hibernate and slowly fade.
This bleeping monitor, drumming into empty ears.
Go ahead - open my eyes, and look into empty sockets.
[but you have beautiful eyes]
- They're facing inward now.
Have your fill of these fading, wasted pools of blue.
That isn't me looking back at you, anymore.
Waking up screaming, sweating in the night.
I just cant close it off. It's seeping out of me.
Course must last a maximum of 4 weeks
So what when it finishes?
What when that's over? What do I fill myself with.
How do I pass the endless day that runs for weeks without stopping.
What do I do when i wake up from this abyss.
When you pull me out of the tiny part of my mind keeping me alive.
If I wake up - where do I go from here?
I want to get up - get out of myself.
Walk into the freezing wind.
I cant feel anymore - no matter how deep i cut
How cold i get.
I'm walking and the floor doesn't feel my feet.
And dear God - i want to live, or die
And not "exist" in this "somewhere-in-between"
clinical, wrapped in robes
Metal frames and tied down with tubing.
Smell of blood and vomit and its slowly, slowly drifting off.
Turn the monitor so I can see myself die, please.
TO watch that trace
[my god, i can still create something]
There;s a fucking life inside me -
Watch that trace go flat. And know - that's it
So i can breathe again.
Every breath I take now chokes me.
And you couldn't;t give a fuck.
SO I'll take this deep, heavy sleep.
Creation:comatosed and unresponsive.
Shut out the world.
Its me again doctor - I know, I'm horribly scarred.
I'm broken, doctor.
But you don't put bandages on anymore, do you.
No.
I don't like needles. Don't leave too many marks.
Treatment would do well to take into account
That multiple substances may have been taken
[what a stupid bitch]
Close the curtains.
And please, please -
I only wanted to get some sleep.
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