Common sense lost.
searching for happiness.
The illusion of need prevails.
The air of nostalgia hangs heavy
with lingering scent of musk.
Only memories of junk,
in a smoke-filled room
of sublime shadows.
My sweaty skin glistens
with the iniquity of pleasure and desire.
Agony evaporates.
Aquamarine eyes, glazed and bloodshot.
This torturous toxicity diminishes my strength.
Wicked wraith chimes its sinister rhapsody
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~e~c~h~o~i~n~g~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
in the dense alabaster mist
that clouds my mind.
I’m reduced to burnt embers and cinder
from this inferno
of self-hate.
Charred remnants singed
by the chemical reaction
of my sacred sin.
Barely lucid now,
I traced my epitaph
in ashes and dust,
as I wait to decompose.
Author notes
Option 3 - Help
This piece is written about one of my close friends from High School. She became hopelessly addicted to heroin, which she always called junk . She eventually moved away from our small town and I lost track of her. To this day, I don't know if she's alive or dead. Her addiction scared me enough to never try heroin, even in days of experimentation. Her struggle was a painful one to watch. If you're out there, Tammy, I still think about you all the time.
Used 19 words from the word bank:
illusion
prevail
nostalgia
musk
sublime
glisten
iniquity
aquamarine
toxicity
diminish
wraith
dense
alabaster
mist
cinder
inferno
lucid
epitaph
decompose
photo courtesy of fotosearch.com
Written November 13th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Use the words!!!!! by OurxBeginning.
300 points, ended December 2, 2006, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Reaching through Shadows by x Gemini x.
600 points, ended December 29, 2006, 44 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dirty Junkie by JadedxPassion.
400 points, ended April 21, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - How you feel about drugs by 6-Ft-UnDeR.
300 points, ended May 17, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 66 of 66
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Nice Selection.
I Liked This. My Favourite Thing -And The Thing That Stook Out The Most- Would Have To Be The Variety Of Words Used. It Added Something Extra. I Liked The Connection, And Who It Affected. I'm Sorry You Lost Track Of Her, It's Hard When That Happens. Beautiful Write, Best Of Luck. -
I reallllly like this one. Amazingly written, really desprictive. But I don't hear much about drug use... Just about who you've become.
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i absolutly love this! you really have a talent for expressing things and its kind of AMAZING to me ♥
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Thanks for the fabulous comment! It's very much appreciated!
~Lori
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Very well done!! I am starting to see the wonderful poet you are was not hidden very deep, even in your earlier writes!! Well done with a wonderful flow, lmao There is rarely little to suggest to you in your writing, and here is the case as well!! Wonderful pic and BG, a perfect compliment to the piece. Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. Hetohke'e *
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Thanks once again, Lady Pegasus! Your wonderful comments have left me with a big smile!
~Lori
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brilliant
this poem is one of the best i have read tonight it is absolutly brilliant, it deserved the trophy, i can't wait to read more, loved it!!!
cass xx (raffles101)
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WOW!
Brava you did a great job in this contest though i didn't but i still have a chance for first place in it hope my poem is good enough for it. Now your poem it had essence power emotion and most of all a great use of the vocabulary. I love it it shows people what it like being the friends of a smoker you really care about.
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Thanks so much DeathAngel for the sweet comment on this piece! It means alot! It was very hard to watch this happen to my friend because I cared about her so much. Now, I have no idea where she is or even if she's alive or dead. It's painful to live with. Thanks again for reading! It's greatly appreciated!
~Lori
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First, let me thank you for entering my contest.
Second, i am sorry for your strife.
Third:
This poem was very touching. The flow and imagery was very well done. Nice, creative format. -
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Thank you Saint of Gemini for your lovely comment on this piece! It's greatly appreciated! I'm glad you enjoyed this write.
~Lori
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wow this really hits home for me. I never touched needles but I done alot of other stuff. awesome piece of writing my friend a real i opener.
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Thanks so much, James! I'm glad you enjoyed this piece! I've never touched needles either but I'm no saint. It was so sad to watch what was happening to my friend and now to not know what inevitably happened to her is even worse. Thanks for your wonderful comment! It's very much appreciated!
~Lori
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Oh wow, I'm very sorry to hear about your friend. This is very emotional and deep. It really left an impact on me and you really described the addiction well. My favorite stanza was the last one, it just hit me the hardest. Nice use of the words. Thank you for entering and good luck.
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Thanks for the great comment, Romance! It's much appreciated!
~Lori
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I am blown away by this write. I kept getting these clicks in my head of "addiction" all through while reading this, and I didn't know where this was leading until reading your note at the end. This is an awesome write. Thanks for sharing.
Blessings
LisaMarie
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Thanks so much LisaMarie! I'm pleased that you enjoyed this piece! This was inspired by my H.S. friend who let her addiction ruin her life. Sad how easy a drug can grab hold of someone and not let go. Thanks for giving this a read! I really appreciate it! Take care
~Lori
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I never knew that you wrote in free verse too!
Very well written and you incorporated the words well.Just finished my own entry for the contest and though I'd stop by.Funny structure of the poem, is this free verse?
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Thanks for stopping by, Mark! I appreciate your kind comments! I'm only starting to write in free verse and structure is experimental! I'll be sure to check out your piece!
~Lori
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hmmm very good piece sad about your friend though my friends have also gone down thast road ironic really anyways great write
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Thanks Marie! I'm sorry to hear that you had someone follow this path of destruction too. It's sad to watch addiction take over people we love! Thanks for reading hun!
~Lori
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stunning!
Honey, your talent is just growing and growing! This is acidic and and then gentle. The reader can feel the emotions sparking from your words.You create empathy for your friend so beautifully - the reader cares about her and wants her to be okay. If this kept you from heroin, then I praise Him for that miracle. Very touching and well-written write.
hugs Wolfie
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Thanks so much Auntie WolfHeart! Ya know, I was no angel growing up and I experimented with alot of things I shouldn't have, but I never touched anything that required a needle, like many of my friends did, and I'm so thankful that I didn't. I've lost too many people over a high. I'm glad you enjoyed this piece and thank you so very much for your lovely compliments! I truly appreciate them! Love ya Auntie!!
~Lori
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Powerful!
Lori,
Another stunning piece of poetry! I lost a friend of mine to drug addiction, it is just heartbreaking what drugs can take away from a family or circle of friends! Your piece is splendid and gives a very real insight into this terrible tragedy!!
Great write sis!
Shannon -
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Thanks so much dear Shannon! I'm sorry to hear that you lost someone to addiction, too. I think just about everyone can say that they've known someone that drugs have affected. Sad. Thanks for reading Sis!
~Lori
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Thank you so much, my friend, for the great comment! It is indeed very heartbreaking to watch those we love succumb to the hideous addiction of these powerful and life-altering drugs. Heroin, crack, meth, they all take hold of a person so quickly and refuse to let go. I found it interesting that we both went with the theme of drugs and addiction from this word bank. Thanks again for checking out this piece. It is most appreciated! Take care!
~Lori -
Quite interesting to read this and compare to the one I wrote using drug addiction as a theme. Yours certainly has a much more personal feel to it and your metpahors are splendid. It is very sadening to realise that people we know have wasted their lifes for this.
You certainly have a talent and I wish you all the best in this contest.
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Thanks for the lovely comment, Ruby Alice! It is much appreciated! I felt the same, that the bold text was distracting. I initially intended to highlight words from the word bank by using the bold, but the more I look at the page, the more I feel distracted, too. Thanks for stopping by to read!
~Lori -
Thanks Lane, for the most wonderful comment on this piece! It is very much appreciated! I'm glad you clicked, too!
Take care
~Lori -
Thanks for the amazing comment kendal! I truly appreciate you stopping by for a read. I'm pleased that you enjoyed!
~Lori -
Very intense and very dark, although I felt the words in bold were distracting, the fact that they were in bold. Nevertheless, this is deep and dark and very gut-catching.
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Thanks for the great comment, ea! It's greatly appreciated!
~Lori -
Dearest Yvette, thank you so much for the lovely comment on this piece! As always, your kind words are truly appreciated. I was unusure about showing the words from the word bank in bold for exactly the reason you stated, but since the contest is entirely about using the word bank, I felt they should be somehow highlighted. I hope it isn't to distracting from the meaning behind the piece.
Take care
~Lori -
I loved everything about this -
the poem is outstanding, and
even the background seems to
be a part of the poem itself.
I am very glad to have clicked
on this piece. Love, Lane -
I am amazed to read your work...Imagination is purely beautiful. Yeah and the rhyming pattern makes the poem just perfect..this is stunningly lovely.
you are such a gifted poet..keep it up. I love and adore this poem, and I think many if not all the readers before agree that this is a very beautiful and well written and a well crafted poem. I like the rhyme and I love the alliteration. This is simply spectacular. I applaud you and I salute you for it. This poem has great imagery, so much description and details. Its incredibly good. you have terrific potential. peace to you always. -
Ah, that is sad. Awesome job using all these words from the wordbank. I always think that seems so challenging. All the best, Lori.
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My dear,you used the word bank criteria to great effect,though having each word that was from the word bank in bold somewhat took away from the poetry as at first read through I thought it was in bold to stress each word and it reads differently,that is not a criticism,just an observation.This took the reader the reader through the painful chaos,despair and demise of the junkie and it felt an uncomfortable place to be amidst the white pain and the white out of life that became an existence.A write with depth and intensity,well done indeed,a worthy round of applause.Good luck in the contest,love and light,Yvette
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Thanks so much for the wonderful comment, Mother Angst! It is greatly appreciated! It is the saddest thing, to watch the love of a high take over the love of family and friends. Thanks again for reading!
~Lori -
drugs are so awful! i think that we all know of someone in our lives who has been torn apart by drugs. i know that i do, and to this day i will rarely even take a tylonol for fear of ever becoming like this relative of mine who was a persciption drug junkie.
great write here, although so very sad, it is also very wise. -
Thanks hun! I'm glad you liked it! Love ya!
~Mom -
Loved it
...Wow mom...this is now my favorite write, it was very powerful and its impact with emotion was greatly felt.
ivy
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Thanks so much, Theresa! I truly hope she found the road to recovery, too. I've never used a needle either, but this is how I think it might be. I could be wrong! I've watched enough friends choose a high over our friendship and it's painful to see it happen. Thanks again for reading! Take care, my friend
~Lori -
Wow I have never used a needle but you were right on. such a powerful and emotional write. I hope that your friend found the road to recovery. excellent write.
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Thanks so much for the lovely comment, sweet Tia! I appreciate it very much! The word bank for this contest was amazing and the first thing that came to mind was my friend, Tammy and the way she used to sweat to get her fix. I wish I knew if she's alright now. It's been too many years since I lost track of her. Thanks my friend, for reading, for commenting, and for being encouraging! Love ya!
~Lori
btw - how's that baby doing??
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Thanks so much big bro! I'm glad you liked this piece. I appreciate you reading. I wish this addiction would have never grabbed my friend, Tammy. But sadly, it did and I haven't heard from her in years. I only hope she got clean and is having a great life. Thanks again for reading, Charley!
~Lori -
Thanks so much Tommy, for the excellent comment on this write! It is most appreciated! Addiction is such a sick and sinister bitch and my friend fell prey and fell hard. I only wish I knew where she was today and if she's alright. I'm glad you enjoyed this piece! I thought this background matched the aura of the piece, too. Thanks again hun!
~Lori -
Thanks for the great comment, Gaylene! It's very much appreciated! I thought this background matched the smoky room aura I pictured my friend sitting in and getting high. I hope this piece does justice to the plight of those addicted. Thanks, as always, for reading!
~Lori -
Phenominal
Girl, this is an awesome write. You could not change a thing in this to make it any more impacting than it is. Awesome job on the word bank, phenominal work from you in creative expression. I could go on, but I feel like you have gotten my message! You just won this contest! Awesome work, thank you for sharing your work with us, I feel you are a gift...for me to read and enjoy. Thanks a billion, my pleasure to read. ~Tia -
Hi, Lori. My dear lil sis. What a write, you have nailed this addiction right on. Good use of the word bank. It really flowed well. How lucky you are to have seen the damages heroin was doing to your friend, Tammy, before you jumped in beside her and joined her to who knows where. It is definately one of those life choices we have to make. You chose the right one otherwise you wouldn't be here writing beautiful poems for all of us to enjoy. Good luck in the contest.
Your beautiful, thanks for sharing!!!!
Your big brother,
Charley -
For someone who never used a needle, you portrayal of the war that rages inside of the addict is dead on. It pains me to see/hear of individuals that fall prey to that dark and self-damning world.
Once again Lori, your work never ceases to put me in awe. You truly do have a way with elegance, even when speaking of such a dark matter. I am glad to see that you are still working with free form writing (tee hee, tee hee... it's my favorite kind, to hell with rules and formats) Also, I love the smokey whispy background, it completely compliments the piece!
You get a great big friggin' hug for this one Lori, good luck in this contest! -
Wow what a powerful write Lori. filled with such intense emotion still about a long lost friend. What an amazing tribute.
I loved the way you set ll this out and the background is so soft and gentle. Best to you in this contest
Gaylene
Edited on Nov 14 because 'spelling edit'. -
Thanks for the wonderful comment on this piece, Samantha! It's much appreciated! I've only been writing in free form for about a month now, so I welcome the feedback. I'm still trying to find my style and my niche.
~Lori -
Beautiful tribute to a friend lost to such a horrid addiction. I watched my mothers ex struggle with being an ex heroin addict.... he also , oddly enough..called it junk... A truly horrifying drug.
On a more critique-ish note (haha i love inventing words) ... I thought you pieced this together very well. I don't care much for the fancy artsy stuff some put into their poetry so tend to overlook it.... I think (simply my opinion) it detracts from the quality of the piece.... though you have made it suit well... I kinda like it more so than I have in other pieces. The use of the words from the wordbank was done well and does not seem in the slightest forced, flowing smooth and easy througout.
A lovely piece all in all Glad I stopped to read will read more.
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Thanks so very much, Fife4, for the truly wonderful comment on this piece! It is greatly appreciated! I'm glad that you enjoyed the read!
~Lori -
Thanks for the awesome comment, warrior poet!! It is very much appreciated! I'm glad you liked this piece!
~Lori -
I can only think of one word that would describe this poem and that would be incredibly poetic. It's like something a girl would say on the stage during a poetry reading in an upscale coffee house that all the intellectuals hang out with their non fat soy lattes and thick rimmed reading glasses, pausing to hear your poem in the midst of a conversation on the homosexual overtones in Shakespeare's sonnets. Then, when your piece is over and the drum beat stops, they turn to each other, move their glasses to the tip of their noses and say in a loud whisper, "very heavy".
Very well done.
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Thanks wild nymphet, for the kind remarks on this piece! It's much appreciated!
~Lori -
lovely write, potent and simple, very well structured and written
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Thanks Ange, for the great comment on this piece! It means alot!
~Lori -
This is a great write, sad, but great. You took somethin bad and turned it into something, art, that is kinda my... belief, to take the dark and bad and make it something better. I do hope that you find her. Awesome Write!
Ange Dechu
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Thanks so much Sandy, for the lovely comment on this piece! I appreciate it greatly!
~Lori -
Thanks Kas, for the awesome comment on this write! It's much appreciated!
~Lori -
WONDERFUL POEM
WOw!!! You did an amazing poem here asnd you used the words quit well. Excellent write. Best of luck in the contest. Take care, Sandy
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deep and thought provoking
I reminds me of a book I once read "Crank" but yeah, I love the form and great use of your words for the contest I great account of the addict's scene.
"Barely lucid now,
I traced my epitaph
in ashes and dust,
as I wait to decompose."
Those are some powerful last lines, wow.
♥ Kas -
Thanks so much Tracey, for the wonderful comment on this piece! I really appreciate it! I'm so glad to hear that your brother was able to escape the grip this drug has on people. I only hope the same for my friend, Tammy. Thanks again for reading!
~Lori -
WOW!!!!! I just read your author notes.... Heroin, captures and controls many lives, I seen my brother, but I am happy to say after many years he is now clean.... I hope one day you hear from Tammy!!! Your poem is excellent, as I knew you would have written... much talent you have!!! good luck in the contest
Tracey
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