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Crying Myself To Sleep

Wiping my tears, they only tear more,
a tear drop, strikes floor.
Wiping them again, my eyes get deeper,
as my life is drained, i see the keeper.
The flow is steady, they try to clot,
at them i wipe, untying their knot.
As i wipe, dragging the steel,
a slight burn, a chill i feel.
Full of tears, the tissue is a stain,
again i wipe, melting the pain.
Harder and deeper, I wipe each time,
everything is red, this personal crime.  
Wiping the tears, they only tear more,
a puddle of tears, red on the floor.
The eyes on my wrists, continue to weep,
consciousness fades, as I drift to sleep.
Vision is blurring, hearing is fading,
the sun has set, the moon is wading.
My final choice, that ill make,
to fall asleep, and not awake.
Wiping my tears, they tear no more,
your wiping my tears, off the floor.

Author notes


Written November 13th, 2006

A contest entry

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • LittleDecoy
    August 24, 2008

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    wow. i felt like i was going through this as i read it.
    what an incredibly sad and emotional piece.
    i loved reading it.. awesome job. thanks for entering & good luck


  • Touchof1der silver member
    November 13, 2006
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    First of all let me say that your work here has a LOT of potential. I tend to agree with FallenPoeticAngel in regards to the forced rhyme and perhaps editing this in free style. There is such an intense amount of personal satisfaction and feelings of liberation to the mind and spirit when the ink flows more freely from your pen, divulging the thoughts, feelings and emotions that we so often set aside, hide or otherwise ignore. I am so pleased that you have chosen Allpoetry as your place to discover and display the speaking of your inner voice. I hope you find us to be a helpful and friendly place for posting all of your future works. I encourage you to take some time to wander the site and check out all that we have to offer here. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact any greeter here.
    ♥ Touchof1der


  • FallingTwilight
    November 13, 2006
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    There's a lot of feeling in this poem, however I think the rhyming seems too forced, which happens in a lot of poems. If you wrote this in free verse, it would have been better in my opinion.



    Other than that you had great imagery and emotion.



    <3

    FallenPoeticAngel