he's lookin fer a place to lay 'is anchor down
he's longin fer a spot to call 'is own
fer he's tired o' the torment of driftin cross the seas
like a raven long from shore no place to land
or like a trawler boiled deep in storm
he's lookin fer a place to lay 'is anchor down
he's searchin all the ports an' all the bits of earth
dispersed like scattershot throughout the swell
fer he's tired o' the torment of driftin cross the seas
he's tired o' the sorrow that haunts im high an' low
an' he's weary o' the water's lonesome sway
he's lookin fer a place to lay 'is anchor down
he's drifted all 'is life an' now 'e seeks the ground
a corrugated roof to shed the rain
fer he's tired o' the torment of driftin cross the seas
the years have gathered to 'is bones and on 'is face
an' he's weary o' the ghostly tavern friendships
he's lookin fer a place to lay 'is anchor down
fer he's tired o' the torment of driftin cross the seas
Author notes
to learn more about the villanelle: allpoetry.com/Column/784856/all=1
Written November 7th, 2006
In a list
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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Question
Hello Erin, I have a question. Why does this villanelle not rhyme? Is it a new form?
I have to admit that I did not realise the lack of rhyme until I reached the last stanza, then I saw, and was left wondering. Nevertheless another excellent piece from you my friend.Val.
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follow the link "to learn more about the villanelle" just under the poem.
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Excellent
Aarrgghh, Matey...Shiver me timbers...Avast ye landlubbers...Bring the man a spot o'rum afore I have ye keelhauled...
Hey, where else can I (former) librarian from Kansas have a pirate's accent??? 
I have never even attempted to write a villanelle, so you're way ahead of me in that regard...From the poems of yours I've read, I've always been quite impressed by your adherence to structured poetry, whereas I tend to stick with free verse. This is an impressive penning, particularly in dialect...I know it's not your "usual style"; however, I enjoyed it thoroughly. I think your efforts paid off handsomely, Zahhar. Be well, Poet. Wanda
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Just loved it. I am not so into villanelle's but this one at least flowed. And indeed a shanty undertone. Hope you get no comments on the dialect use for sometimes there are...
AS long the poem lives in your heart it is to be enjoyed.
Wim
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nicely written, seems like you had some fun. I hope that you keep your skill honed and still have fun...nice job
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I thought I had commented on this previously, but I guess I had just read it and gone...
My opinion is 'eh... so-so'. Not because it was bad, but for personal preference actually. I personally abhor... when a letter is omitted such is o' or 'is. Eh... it just sends this rush of "ahhhh" through my blood... so nothing against you or your poem. just personal preference.
in regards to the villanelle itself... pretending that i didn't hate 'is an' o', I'd say it was excellent. I absolutely SUCK at villanelles and can certainly appreciate a well written one because I know that it takes a great deal of work [unless you're just naturally great at them] to make it sound natural and unforced. So on technique, I'd say A plus plus!
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I have no idea how this poem ended up in the spotlight. If you look at the comment from 'bluff reef' you'll see that this is in no way a example of my writing in general. lol
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pehaps someone thought it was a stellar piece and nominated it for you
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check your rhyming scheme, middles have to rhyme with each middle ect. great poem in and of it seklf
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it doesn't really have to rhyme. look at sylvia plath's villanelle 'mad girl's love song'... she didn't rhyme the middle lines... that's just the way to do a traditional villanelle... but, according to one of my writing professors, the only rule is to know the rules and then break them.
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Hi Tirrell,
Appreciate your feedback. I did something a little goofy with the end-line scheme. It's there, just kind of obscure. Each of my villanelles and terzanelles explores some new alternative to the original format--for fun, and self-training. If you want to know what I was doing with the end-line scheme, I discussed it some in my blog of this poem at MySpace: Blog of 'sea dog'
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Well shiver me G__D___timbers! Tell me now lad, what have ye done to Mister Thomas? It'll be a lot easier if you come clean now!LOL
Good dead reckoning on the dialect Erin! I'm assuming it was a bit of fun too! Do you send everyone to see Service's things? LOL Well I did, and enjoyed reading his things.
Good job here Erin. Fun for us to read too!
Regards,
John-Las Vegas, Nevada
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A lovely villanelle, I can hear the concertina in the background with the flow of your poem.
(maybe in the last line:
fer he's tired o' the torment of driftin cross the seas
add an apostrophe for:
fer he's tired o' the torment of driftin 'cross the seas)
But then, you really don't need to do that either, it is a wonderful song of the sea-and more. -
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Hi azure85,
I'm glad you enjoyed this poem. Your suggestion that I start cross with an apostrophe is a good one, though I'm going to forego the edit.
This is why: As I wrote the poem I decided that I was going to do whatever I could to avoid apostrophes, and cross can be read and understood just fine without it. It's words like the truncated of that seem to really need apostrophication (yep I just made that word up, though I did find apostrophic in my OED) when that f is omitted, especially since I'm only omitting the f where of is used as an accented, or stressed, word.
I'm pretty sure this is my first ever poem that tries out some form of dialect. I plan to explore more dialect oriented poetry as time goes on since my major heros poets had a tendency to do this. For instance, check out this fantastic poem by Robert Service titled My Prisoner.
I have a lot of work ahead of me where the exploration of dialects is concerned, so I do appreciate your comment.
On the upshot, glad you enjoyed.
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this is a well written villanelle ... having written just one ... I know they are deceptively difficult to write ... Larry
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so true to life
Hi Zahhar, as an old sea dog myself i can appreaciate this poem, although i never reached the point where i was desperate to leave.
I guess my interpratation of your'e work would be some old salt trapped onboard the Marie Celeste. -
Great! I understand that this is a very good venue for letting people read your work, but I still think it's time for you to try some of the literary quarterlies. Let the ivory tower snobs, book geeks, and others who are willing to plunk down some cash get a chance to comment, too.
Widen your horizons, sailor poet.
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Excellent! I love the salty sailor accents!
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Great Write
This has a lot of character....more than usual for your random output...lol This makes me think of someone who is tired of playing a game and just wants to settle down...kind of like my step-brother....and it also reminds me of the movie, "The Old Man and the Sea"...
KAY
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I see you were having fun with the dialect
I like this, it was easy to read and as stated above it sure does ring true. I think we all eventually get tired of the "sea" and want to plant our feet on the ground, have a nice warm place to keep the cold out, and the comfort of our friends when ever we need them, not just in passing. Wonderful as usual Erin.
Suzanne
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excellent
Excellentuse of the form and the topic rings true. This hits all the buttons with me.
Well done
Jim AKA shantyfreak
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