HAGAR
Harsh sand... and harsher sun...
Cruel light and crueller heat...
Hot madness, hotter air...
Dust-devils whirl, curl, swirl in the blinding
Noon, no shade for finding,
The heat a fetter binding
My feet to the burning sands...
My hands
Cling senselessly to a waterskin
Long dry within...
The day blinds me -
I flee where SHE cannot find me
To take my child for her own...
But alone
I and the child in my womb
Stagger through the soon-to-be-tomb
Of the drifting dunes...
Light,
Cruelly bright,
Burns my sight
I long for night
And the stars like great pools of water...
But the laughter
Of Azazel mocks
Echoing from the rocks
Azazel... Azazel... desert demon Azazel...
Master of mirages, Lord of the dry well,
With wings like empty leather waterskins...
And the death-madness begins,
Stings, sings
With the splashing of water-springs...
Mirage of water, demon vision of water...
Scent of imagined water, cool illusion of water..
Taste of ... taste of... taste of LIVING water...
Water, water.... O holy, holy, holy,
Not Azazel, no... my master's God, or His Angel,
O water, water, water... He has heard my voice,
The voice of my unborn son, Voice of my Suffering...
O holy, holy, holy water...
Author notes
As readers familiar with the Jewish and Christian scriptural traditions will recognize, this poem is based on the story of Hagar as told in the Bible. (It also occurs, in a rather different version in the Koran.) According to the book of Genesis, she was the slave of Sarah, wife of the Patriarch Abraham, to whom the Almighty had promised a posterity "as numerous as the stars in the sky or the sands of the desert". Sarah was barren, so she brought Hagar to Abraham's bed, so that he could beget a child on her. (This was a kind of ancient version of surrogate motherhood - according to the customs of the time, Sarah,not Hagar would be the legal mother of the child).
During her pregnancy, Hagar feeling herself ill-used by Sarah, fled into the desert. When almost dead of thirst, she had a vision of an "Angel of the Lord" who commanded her to return to Abraham and Sarah, said she should call her son "Ishmael", meaning "Voice of my Suffering", and promised that he would become the ancestor of a great nation. A miraculous spring of water appeared at the spot.
Later, by another miracle, Sarah in her old age conceived a son, Isaac, through whom, from Abraham, the Jews are descended.
But the Angel's promise to Hagar was also fulfilled: Ishmael indeed became the ancestor of a mighty nation - the Arabs...
The name Azazel occurs in the Book of Leviticus... in the Hebrew original, the expression translated into English as the "Scapegoat" is said to be "for Azazel". The original meaning of this expression is obscure - however, in later Jewish legend, Azazel is perceived as the demon of the desert, and the embodiment of its dangers and delusions.
A contest entry
- Women in history by EstherG.
1000 points, ended November 13, 2006, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Water Bottles by punksense.
300 points, ended December 4, 2006, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Miss the Sun by Kansas June.
300 points, ended February 15, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhymes alone are only bones by JM Kenyon.
900 points, ended May 12, 2007, 44 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Water by Danna Hobart.
300 points, ended September 19, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Inspired by Bible stories.... by nightshade10.
625 points, ended December 19, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Spiritual Poetry by Oleander.
300 points, ended January 26, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Water! by mmistermeh.
700 points, ended February 18, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - thorugh the eyes of madness by completely mad.
600 points, ended July 2, 2008, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Think and Describe by Fallen Grace.
650 points, ended February 12, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Spring Water by laiqua aran.
875 points, ended March 2, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites contest!!!!!!!!!!!! enter!!!!! by foreveryourslove.
1120 points, ended November 9, 1065 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Please do not feel obliged to comment - and if you do comment, please understand that it may be some time before I respond.
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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Hagar
Rather sadly, the number of people in the UK who are familiar with Biblical, or for the matter of that Classical, references, seems to diminish by the year, with the result that huge swathes of literature become difficult, or meaningless. My grand-daughter has an exhaustive knowledge of of all kinds of historical topics, thanks to the 'Horrible Henrys' series. Somehow, I cannot see any of the churches sponsoring 'Biblical Baddies', though it would probably do quite well and have many sequels.
Incidentally, the Arabs believe that the sand-demon can change shape into anything. And the scape-goat (or escape-goat) still feature in one of the Jewish feasts, bearing the sins of all..
I do not say your excellent poem is not relevant to to-day, but I saw it as trying toget into how it must have been in that far-off time -- but then I get miffed watching Ibsen which has been made 'relevant to our times' let alone Aeschylus.
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Although neither religion is mine I have read both the Bible and the Qoran and am familiar with the tale, this is beautifully retorl in a very interesting style, and a nicely metaphoric take on the prompt.
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Well written truth, I loved it. Blessings.
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This is a very good poem, I like the point of view that the reader sees from when reading this. Walking through the heat without anything to drink can be a terrible ordeal to overcome. While reading this I could almost feel the pain that the person in the poem was working through. You have done a great job with the prompt in this piece of work!
Thank you and good luck!
-Kaela ♥ -
very good..I hate heat ...and O could only imagine heat without something to drink....heat would be a good way to drive someone crazy great job....thanks foe entering
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Very good, I liked it a lot
thanks for the entry!
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Hi Vera
This is beautiful. I do not know what I'm doing in the same contest as this.
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What an amazing write! Thanks for entering into the contest with this poem. I feel you have expressed your intentions well.
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First off, thank you so much for adding this to my contest. This is a very interesting, powerful poem, and it tells a beautiful story.
Good luck in this contest! -
Oh, I like it, I like this kind of poetry and it was obvious where your idea came from. thanks for your great AN for all other who do not know this part of Bible. Really great write.
~Sonja~
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Thank you for your comment - particularly as your tastes in poetry are clearly very different from mine!
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Wonderful write, all the more appreciated because of your explanation. Congratulations on the bronze trophy!
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a very uniquely crafted poem, which deserves being awarded by a trophy ... thank you for the precious author's notes without which helped me greatly to fully appreciate the rich and precious content of your poem ...
maa
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One of the things I can't forget from the bible was the story of Hagar, which you have put her suffering and fear here very well. Great use of technique and language as well as rhymes. Nicvely done. *hug*s and best wishes always... ~Genie~ Note: Due to high volume of entries, I'll be using a scoring system to judge after the contest closes.
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I recentally just read the story about Hagar and Sarah and Abraham, so I really appreciate this. This has great imagry, and I loved the way everything seemed a little disconnected, and little desperate. Great Job!
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Sometimes customs and traditions, both ancient and contemporary, appear strange to us. Perhaps because we find it difficult to relate them to our intuitive sense of right and wrong. I guess it has to do with the alignment of our existence in space and time relative to what we observe. Also striking is the fued between the mothers of the, at that time nations to be, which hasn't particularly improved over the years. The beginning of this part of mankind's history does not seem to have taken off under a good sign. Still, our empathies and dislikes regarding the ways of the offspring of the persons contained in the situation in your eloquent poem, we continue to make from our intuition. Thank you for directing me to this page. I enjoyed reading your ponderings and author's comments. Take care,
U
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Very niceeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I see you went with the literal meaning of water bottle--only you used a different sort of water bottle. This is very powerful even though I'm not a religious person. Great entry even as a pre-write Although it's December, ouch! HOT! I think I need to turn on the AC, haha. The whole image of needing water is great! It really represents how you can't go without it. The use of ellipses was great, too.
Jen >_< -
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Irrespective of religious belief or otherwise, the Bible is a marvellous source of stories and archetypal themes... and I would encourage Allpoetry members to use it as such.
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An enjoyable write
An enjoyable write; can feel Hagar's suffering from your words. Tis a shame that Sarah didn't have more faith when it was required.
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I am glad you liked Hagar... I wrote it originally for our live poetry presentation "Harlots and Heroines - portraits of Old Testament Women" (my "Potiphar's wife - 7 years afterwards" comes from the same show). From the technical point of view, I was experimenting with how to use rhyme to create a sense of panic, hysteria and incipient madness... and judging from the comments received, it seems more or less to have worked.
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Liked the plaintiveness of this – the repetitions of ‘O’ particularly effective. And thanks for including such a detailed description as well – makes things a lot easier, for me and for everyone else who reads this as well.
Thank you for entering!
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This filled me with a kind of outrage based, I suppose, in the old addage - not what you know but who you know. Why is life such a ***?
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