I dated him when I turned fourteen
He was very sweet and good looking
I fell for him, it was love at first site
His name, Mr. Can’t Get Right
Then came “The One”- love on a steady course
We married, then took a detour to divorce
I still loved him, held on with all my might
His name, also Mr. Can’t Get Right
After blind dates, old dates, more of the same
I should know this man by his first name
Of his temptations, I’ve lost every fight
His name—yes, it’s Mr. Can’t Get Right
Meet Mr. Can’t Get Right
He is a complex person, this guy
Aways asking, when, where or why
He starts out strong then just quits
Starts off standing then just sits
Opportunities staring him right in the face
But will ignore them and ends up in the same place
He is given love but refuses
His friends he eventually misuses
Given gifts that he will return
Given knowledge but too stupid to learn
Sees the pathway signs "freedom ahead"
but always feels like he is being misled
Knows a change would be good for him
Giving no effort, remains as he's aways been
What if the problem is really me
and they are exactly as they're supposed to be
But if I am correct with these words I recite
then you have just met Mr. Can’t Get Right
Author notes
I wonder if I should take out the first three paras. What do you think?
Written November 11th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Pre Write Contest by SensualWhispers.
615 points, ended March 15, 2007, 100 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything. by Sonofdead.
800 points, ended June 26, 2007, 138 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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GOOD -
Very goood
I've been here and there and done that with mr.can't get it right. You've done a fantastic job on this poem. I love it. Excellent write. Thanks for entering the contest and the best of luck to you. kassie -
just letting youknow i put this up for frontpage... great write
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thank you
for the wonderful comments and for putting this up for frontpage. Thank you so much again.
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i love it.... wow so you met my ex husband too i see...lol and a few of the others too... wow what a wonderful incite you give many of us into our own lives... fantastic wrote you have penned i wish you well in the contest
cheers
Jen
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Nope
Leave it just the way it is. Save it. Put it away for ten years, then pull it out and read it again. Excellent job my young poet friend. Merry Christmas. ~PeacE~GarY~ -
wow...
I think I know this person!!!!! or someone like him. I wish that they would see these opertunities and take them. Maybe their lives would change for the better if they did. Excellent write. I loved it. oh, and do not take out the first three paras! they were as awesome as the rest of the poem!
Aidenn
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Wow!
Yeah, gottcha! I love the way you tied it up at the end and I love the "Mr. Cant Get Right" You really grabbed me with this one and I love the way it sounds outloud. The only thing I would mention is the the line, "But will ignore them and ends up in the same place," it kinda threw off the rythym for me a little. But the poem itself was awsome and very powerful! I love the casual wisdom! Loved it!
castaway
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This poem is very lyrical very strong and the power of deception drives the attitude deep into the gut of the
web of perception you are using to nail these words into the readers mind , very brilliantly penned..
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So Very True
I have met this man, was married to this man and left this man. Too bad he just keeps coming back... You have a way with words.
Love and luck in all you endeavor.
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very well done. much better. i love the detour part. nice touch.
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Hey will you pretty please check out my revision? I think it's better...do you? thanks!
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Thank you so much for your comment and suggestions. Yes, okay I'll leave them in. and I will definately split the paras. Okay thanks so much.
wouldn't it be nice if Love paid the bills though? Man I love so much I would be able to pay everyone's bills!!! Thanks again! -
take out the first three stanzas, no, i dont think so. i think it gives a good introduction to the moral of the poem. separate them into two's like the others? yeah, i would do that. as for your poem, i think you did a great job with this one. there are those who dont want to succeed when oppurtunity is thrown at them. love doesnt pay the bills, nor does laziness. great poem.
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