I stand before the solemn preacher,
waiting for my lovely bride.
my knees are shaking terribly
I want to run and hide.
Aunt Mary in the front row
has married 15 times;
two husbands hanged in Texas
for what they called vicious crimes.
The music starts to loudly play
Here come the bridesmaids; one, two, three.
The blood drains from my pallid face.
The best man slyly pinches me.
John is sitting on the aisle
way down in the back
His wife ran off with Peter
His mistress sleeps with Jack.
She stands there in the doorway
swathed in snow white lace
I display an awkward sickly smile,
As she walks with lumbering grace.
Susan’s lurking in the corner
Wearing a look of shame
her husband left her for a man,
and she’s never been the same
My bride is at the alter
I stand up straight and tall.
Where has all her beauty gone?
I fear I’m going to fall.
Grandpa Jones is grinning broadly
and his dentures hit the floor
They couldn’t prove he killed poor Grams
With his missing brothers forty-four.
I dimly hear the preacher
as the vows he starts to speak.
but the bride will never catch me
cause I’m halfway - to next week.
Patricia Gibson-Little
Author notes
I love a challenge they always seem to inspire me.
I don’t know if this is what you wanted… but I wrote it just the same.
Written May 5th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- Distractions (another OP Contest) by Seether.
300 points, ended May 12, 2003, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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funny
This is incredibly funny! I LOVE IT!!! Yup, this is why I won't get married again, well unless... LoL. Great piece here. Funny as hell. Love it!
~Destiny~
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A delightful Poem! YOu did an excellent job.
I enjoyed reading. It's so nice to have so much humor being posted lately. THis one brought a smile -
I found it very entertaining and contains at least some pretense of destraction. lol...Very good!
Re: form:
Your rhyme jumps a bit in places, but the remainder has really good phonetic flow.
I so enjoyed. Glad you love a challenge!! Thank you, CookieZeal -
fabulistic
lmao
tis is VERY well done and i did enjoy the laugh
Thanks
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the crazy connumdrums that makes up relationships.. short on breath my head spins trying to wrap my head around this.. i liked it.. maybe a bit too much since its a challenge.. but meh.. what i've gotten out of this is much more rewarding than a couple of points.. i've gotten peoples reactions and emotions.. which to me.. is a chaka boom baka all in its own..
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lol well I was a bride once, but knowing what I know today I think I would be running out the church door. Marriage is not easy I will never do it again, This made me smile. I thought I would share the other side of the story.
Red -
this is excellent, humourous- but there are subtle undertones of sorrow and seriousness which make me feel melancholy... i wonder if i will get married and how i will feel... the poem somehow distracts from the cliched image of love and diverts back to illustrating how corrupt it can be... which naturally isnt pleasant, but is, unfortunately, often reality.
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Excellent
lol, talk about distractions...knowing that there would be thoughts dancing through your mind at a time like this as it is, let alone these ones..
Run for the hills and dont stop when you get there...lmao.
thanks for the smile with this one and for your words you have done a great job with this piece...
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