Happy Holiday Season

Don’t you just love the holidays?
All the hustle and bustle, the beautiful decorations
Crowded streets and malls, surrounded with stressful smiles
Excuse me! Is all you listen
Left, right, front, back, at every turn
Wow you know it’s that time of the season

Everything is peachy and you think you are in control
Kids are happy, dog’s fed and spouse still makes to work on time
This year it will be different, best holidays we’ll celebrate
You’re list is ready and off you go shopping
Cross out as you go along, just 2 days prior to big family reunion
Phone rings, it’s your judgmental mother-in-law
Guess what? Your hubby’s cousin’s family will be in town
And you get to provide for their accommodation

It’s ok you tell yourself and off back to your list
Your other beloved family members call and leave you hints as what they want
You are starting to panic a little, still standing
Off you go on your road trip, the roads are blocked for miles
It’s just the holiday sprint, now you are out of control
Cussing everyone while driving, doubt everyone else’s driving skills
You made it to the shopping center, can’t find parking
You do, its just few miles down the lane

You run to the mall, inside the shop, first deal with returns, it’s a separate line
No exchanges please! reads the big red sign
Get done, go back reading what’s new on your list, can’t find
Next store reads, Out of Stock! Sorry for any inconvenience
Hop to another store and still can’t find the item, most important, it’s for your mom-in-law
Get the next best and satisfy yourself.
One down, more to go, get to the other store, you see what you want
You get there and you have an opponent ready to put a fight
This item you must get, it’s for your bitching sister-in-law
You get it all you had to do is run down an older lady, so what!
You are finally done with your list and off you turn to go home
Walk miles, get in to your car, and sit in the traffic, thinking, talking to yourself
You are almost home, it clicks, and you forgot your own hubby!
First thought, you can let it slide, and then you toss and turn on your bed all night
So once again you do the drill of cussing, bickering and complaining
What all you do to ease your guilt, he better be happy, you’re thinking

All set, just one thing, it’s your first holiday together, with your new love, a wife, a girlfriend
You know she’s expecting the best, good won’t cut it
She throws all the hints, but you’re too busy impressing, not listening
You’re smart, you are know it all kind of man, you nightmare begins
As soon as you’re in the mall and have no clue what to get
The gift should speak it’s as perfect as she is, if not you’re doomed
Make it special, memorable or your memory of your existence will be erased for good

But if you’re she instead, you’re nervous because your in-laws decided
It’s your turn to be the lucky one to arrange for special holiday family reunion
Don’t you just love the holiday season?
You get everything ready, the platters, the salads and desserts in line
The best china, new cutlery with all seasonal decorations
Sister-in-law you hate, is the first one to show up at your doorstep
Then came along your brother-in-law, sweet as honey with his bitchy honey bee
In the middle your family walks in complaining, we told you so! He’s good for nothing!
Kids, sweet little angelic devils are screaming on top of their lungs
And you hear through baby monitor, your new born twins crying
For grand finale, your mother-in-law, father-in-law enters, perform quick house screening
And utter – not bad! You go what are you saying? while biting your tongue

The day is over, almost, for now its time to exchange gifts.
Oh this will be fun, can’t wait to see everyone’s face lit up, so you are assuming
You give away the gifts you took hours to wrap with all your love
From the bottom of your heart
Ripped open up followed with long sigh, sigh of relief or what can’t be confident!
And, there comes thank you! You shouldn’t have, you really shouldn’t have done it
As they so admire your efforts put in, you know they’re digging
For more, the hidden gift receipt!
Oh yes! Holidays can truly be fun, grinningly you try convincing yourself!

After all you went through, all you get is “OH” thank you!
Just not quite what you expected
You now for sure know and can say out loud
It’s that time of the season
When you are miserably forsaken
All you need is to dig a hole deep enough and off you hide
From the loving family and friends and, everyone around
You’re at your wits end
Yet march ahead like a soldier in the middle of warfront
Plaster fake smile and cuss everybody inside
For you are now dead certain it is that time again
A happy holiday season, indeed
And, just enjoy going insane!

Have a happy holiday season!!!