Satan's Embrace
Bodies on fire in the wick of the dance,
Serpentine shivers, loud cracking of whips;
Blistering thunder; lost in Passion's trance,
Sanguine and lusty, wild succulent lips.
Serpentine shivers, loud cracking of whips,
Skin throbbing; pulsating rhythms begin;
Sanguine and lusty, wild succulent lips,
Moist velvet petals rippling pink within.
Skin throbbing; pulsating rhythms begin,
Striding and gliding like leaves sail the wind;
Moist velvet petals rippling pink within,
Spread wide apart, like a butterfly pinned.
Striding and gliding like leaves sail the wind,
Moon hides her face 'neath night's satin grace;
Spread wide apart, like a butterfly pinned,
With Satan's embrace, Love's fingerprint to trace.
Moon hides her face, 'neath night's satin grace,
Sequins of starlight, her mystical crown;
With Satan's embrace: Love's fingerprint to trace,
His fervor engulfs them; His magick's renown.
Sequins of starlight, her mystical crown,
Purple grows flushed in the glow of night's blush;
His fervor engulfs them; His magick's renown,
Floodgates fly open, as waves crash, and rush.
Purple grows flushed in the glow of night's blush,
Blistering thunder; lost in Passion's trance;
Floodgates fly open as waves crash and gush,
Bodies on fire, in the lick of the dance.
Author notes
l i q u i d m i n d f o r e v e r
Favorite Villan:"whatever"=Satan
LOOK INTO MY EYES #4 BY LIQUIDMINDFOREVER
Crew or Homies: AP "Heart-Connector" Option #4
"Phantom of Despair"
liquidmindforever
"Let's fuck up and go down in history like we did something important!"
Lines 2 and 4 become lines 1 and 3 as the verses progress until the final verse where Line 1 and Line 4 of the first Stanza are used in reverse.
Hope this finds the "stone" ; It's fresh from the Sorcerer's oven.
Written November 9th, 2006
A contest entry
- Wise Poets' Society only - PIF by Sonja.
450 points, ended October 21, 2007, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Toxic Lesson by Coco Mara.
510 points, ended October 22, 2007, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - i'm a monster {love me} by XInsanity-FairX.
450 points, ended October 29, 2007, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Favorite villan,from books,games,movies,t.v.shows,anime..whatever. by Sarin Rayne.
800 points, ended July 19, 11 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 37 of 37
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This is a very powerful poem and I enjoyed it greatly.It flows wonderfully and you truly drew me in.Good luck in the contest.
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i've never seen this style before and i like it. It feels like a trance, as you put it "Pulsating Rhythm". They say that it is a Hell of the senses, i believe you conveyed that very well here.
Thank you for the read
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Thank you Baldwin for stopping in to read SATAN'S EMBRACE; appreciate
your comments and those snappy, clappy faces.
Blessings,
liquid
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Lucky for you, this was very much what I was looking for. A poetic view of 'Satan', more as an exciting, inebriating character than an evil one. The imagery is great, the flow also...your choice of Pantoum is also an interesting one, and I like what it does for the mood of the piece..almost an obsessive, mellifluous tone.
Altogether, well done.
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Pantoum is lovely form of poetry...you write it very well...This also a heated piece of sensaulity
Thank you for entering our contest...novy & brazos
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Wow. Amazing imagery!! Thank you so much for entering. Goodluck.
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I feel this would be better read if it was left-aligned. Other than that: a nice poem that you have written here.
-Nam -
Holy crap. I love the way you wrote this with the enterchanging of lines as the stanzas progress. It is eye catching and thought provoking. good job
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WOW
Oh, my. I don't think I could have asked for a more fitting or talented piece for this contest. I especially loved the lines
"Moist velvet petals rippling pink within,
Spread wide apart, like a butterfly pinned."
The best part about this piece is that it is erotic, but with an elegance found in few other erotic pieces. Lovely work!!!
Best of luck and thanks for entering!!
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hey! thanks so much for entering! And I'll comment more after the contest closes, but Can you please specify what position in my ap family, homies, or ppdpp you are going for? thanks so much again!
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This is really good lol. I love this. The occasional rhyme was nice. But the WHOLE poem was amazing. Wonderful job. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck!!!
Megan -
Good!
I like it. It's very dark and I defintely could see it. We know who's side you fight for.
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this was absolutely amazing
it flowed so well
it was practically flawless
and it made me tingle
it was a very well written poem
and you have alot of talent
thanks for entering and good luck
xxxxx -
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Thank you friend for hosting this contest,for the emerald trophy and points.
lovelightpeace
liquid
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Oh my, oh my...I had to read it several times to be sure what I read. Absolutely, strong and dark and all wrapped in the beautiful very complexed pantoum frame and rhyme.
~Sonja~
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Sonja darling,
Thank you for stopping in to read SATAN'S
EMBRACE and for your powerful comments
and happy faces. Appreciate your appreciation.
LOVELIGHTPEACE
liquid
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This is amazing! Oh my gosh, I love this its sexy, dark and imaginative. Thank you for entering this
I think that you used wonderful imagry and I could see it more, like it was sexy, but there was something else about it. I dont know how ti explain it really. -
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Thank you for honoring SATAN'S EMBRACE
with the GOLD TROPHY. Thank you for hosting this contest and for the points.
LOVELIGHTPEACE
liquid
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What I DO find offensive is entering the same poem into 7 or 8 contests at once in the hope it will win at least one. It may do so, but not mine!
Having said that, there is nothing offensive in it whatsoever. -
Beautiful rhyme scheme rendered and very much felt.
Final score - 8.6
Thanks for sharing
VIRGOAN -
I loved the repetition in this piece. I also loved the way you can almost hear the whips going and the heat of hell enveloping you. I really like the harsh plosives as well, they really hit you hard.
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"Blistering thunder; lost in Passion's trance,
Sanguine and lusty, wild succulent lips" - sensual yet bleeding lines. I like it.
This is my first time to read this poem. I will be re-reading all the entries like I usually do.
Initial score = 8.5
Thanks for sharing and keep on writing my friend.
VIRGOAN -
I loved this from one rhyming poet to another. I also loved the subject matter, wording, and feelings that it conjured up. Good luck in the contest, this was a very talented write...keep it up...
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Fab! Good luck!
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Dear Pinktat
Thank you. Glad you liked "Satan's Embrace"
sure was a chilly thrill to write..
Hoots and whistles,
liquid
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wow this is so deep in context, nice,but ugly scenes come to mind, you have talent for this poetry,good luck...MM
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Nice work.
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very interestn write
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Beautiful wording here, a very rich and vivid poem
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Wow
Honestly...I've never seen pantoum described in a erotic fashion, and I must say i rather enjoy it...it has me wondering what else you have up your sleeves...*grins*
FINALIST'S LIST WITHOUT A DOUBT. -
I am not accustomed to reading an Erotica Pantoum but you take the cake with this one. Exquisite, exciting, enchanting! Just loved it to pieces. I have been missing my 'form friend.' Trust you are well; do visit me when you can. ♥ Belle
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Dear Belle,
Lovely to "hear" from you once again.
All is well. I recently won a cash award
for one of my poems that I submitted to
Silver Wings in California--a sonnet.
Have been taking care of health issues.
Hope your family is well and you also.
Thank you for the praise on "Satan's Embrace."
Love and blessings,
liquid -
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Congratulations! Please send me the poem via a link--would love to share in your joy. God bless dear one, ♥
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Thanks "little" bro for stopping by and reading SATAN'S EMBRACE. I appreciate your feedback and time, and critique when you have it to offer.
Poetically yours,
liquid -
Sis,
while I'm not going to lie and say that I know what the hell this format is {Pantaloon wha???}, this work is nothing less than astounding, making me purr-arousal
.
I cannot comment on the form because it is one that I am unfamiliar with, so I couldn't say if it was done wrong or right. However, as usual, your ability for form a picture with the written word never ceases to amaze me.
Serpentine shivers, loud cracking of whips,
Skin throbbing; pulsating rhythms begin;
Sanguine and lusty, wild succulent lips,
Moist velvet petals rippling pink within.
Skin throbbing; pulsating rhythms begin,
Striding and gliding like leaves sail the wind;
Moist velvet petals rippling pink within,
Spread wide apart, like a butterfly pinned.
Jesus, you could practically see the flesh melting and intertwining in "Satan's Embrace". I seriously need to take a page from your playbook in terms of involving more of the senses when it comes to my own writing. Once again sis, you truly are an inspiration. Best of luck in this contest, it's a winner in my eyes!
Yours In Ink~
Sinz -
Dear Chris,
Appreciate your overview on SATAN'S EMBRACE. Hope you reap the harvest of beauty and uniqueness in your contest, for which you
hunger.
Blessings,
liquid -
i loved this metaphor...and more importantly i loved the flow...it propelled me forward rather than me pushing on myself, at first i thought i might find it a bit repititous, but while reading it every stanza feels fresh and different...one of the most unique works i have read that is for damn sure.
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