On Winter's slalom, lies insanity.
A hand you've seen before, stands knocking at Death's door;
It's Numbness. It's Madness. It's Destiny,
A chilling finger uncloaking the threshing floor.
A hand you've seen before, stands knocking at Death's door.
The shriveling spectre of a phantom, alone.
A chilling finger uncloaking the threshing floor.
Old woman brittle, slumped, gnarled to the bone.
The shriveling spectre of a phantom, alone,
Unsightly apparition in burial shroud;
Old woman brittle, slumped, gnarled to the bone,
Release the agony long silenced, disavowed.
Unsightly apparition in burial shroud
For centuries reliving death's crippling embrace;
Release the agony, long silenced, disavowed
Retracing the lines on Travesty's pock-marked face.
For centuries reliving death's crippling embrace.
The Pied Piper played on, as she danced to his song;
Retracing the lines on Travesty's pock-marked face,
Careless and free, self-centeredly skipping along.
The Pied Piper played on, as she danced to his song,
As time drifted by, mind flitted like a firefly;
Careless and free, self-centeredly skipping along.
Fate knows the way, the hour you'll die; too late to cry.
As time drifted by, mind flitted like a firefly,
Its chilling finger uncloaking the threshing floor;
Fate knows the way, the hour you'll die; too late to cry.
A hand you've seen before, stands knocking at Death's door.
Its chilling finger uncloaking the threshing floor
Ones passions and greed, the curse of desire;
A hand you've seen before, stands knocking at Death's door
Inciting the Beast...Death's funeral pyre.
Ones passions and greed, the curse of desire:
It's Numbness. It's Madness. It's Destiny.
Inciting the Beast...Death's funeral pyre.
On Winter's slalom, lies insanity.
Author notes
Option #28: Misc. Didn't find the perfect option. Perhaps the option on Death might work? USER NAME: liquidmindforever Homies: "Peaceful Spirit Mom" Option #4 The Inner "DEMONS"
liquidmindforever
Multiple Personalities Option #13
This is a variation on the Pantoum as I've altered the 6th quatrain and added a 7th and 8th, The 8th is the correct form of the Pantoum using lines 3 and 1 from the first stanza.
Line 2 and 4 become L.1 and 3 in the subsequent verses and the last stanza incorporates the first and fourth lines of the final stanza.
Written November 9th, 2006
A contest entry
- Lets Change It Up A Bit by pimp daddy satin.
300 points, ended November 16, 2006, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Darken Us Up with Your Comedic Genius and Romantic Attitude by So Strange.
1000 points, ended September 7, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - MAKE ME SICK by Synthetic-Nightmare.
1050 points, ended October 2, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - In the Life of Insanity. by AutumnsFlame.
757 points, ended November 3, 2007, 21 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Insanity. by Fallen Under Light.
300 points, ended September 26, 2007, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - THE MOST INSANELY TEMPTING CONTEST IN THE EXISTENCE OF INSANELY TEMPTING POEMS AND bread by ultimate beluga.
450 points, ended October 11, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Good luck!! by Repetitious Chaos.
1750 points, ended September 26, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITES ONLY by wingsofgold25.
500 points, ended September 28, 2007, 122 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 2006 Prewrites by Virgoan.
500 points, ended October 7, 2007, 57 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Beautiful Tragedies - Options Contest by Moonlight Complex.
420 points, ended October 12, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - GIVE ME SPOKEN WORD (intelligent rhyme) by LeanneBridgewater.
450 points, ended October 18, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want DEEP emotion! make me feel... by gochristyromano.
600 points, ended November 5, 2007, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Be Mine... or My.. er... Ap Family contest here! by danceswsquirrels.
510 points, ended November 28, 2007, 17 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - the darkness ... by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
400 points, ended January 6, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What's Within a Black Hole? by aslanlight.
600 points, ended December 30, 2007, 18 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Favorites - Your best Prewrites by Cupcrazy.
1000 points, ended January 17, 33 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - NO RULES ONLY THE SICKEST 1449 points!!!NOW enter your freakin prewrites by RyanosaurusWrecks.
1449 points, ended January 14, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark Heart of Agony Contest by Eclecta.
450 points, ended January 13, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For the love of god CONFUSE ME by h202.
450 points, ended February 10, 76 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - NASTY>>>>Enter more than once..WHAT DO YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU HEAR THE WORD~NASTY ENTER YOUR PW PW PW..Almost no rules PW PW PW1020pts. by PoeticLove.
900 points, ended August 31, 10 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - [[.Courtesy of a Raven's Blood.]] by Soten-Jaganshi.
1600 points, ended October 17, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 35 of 35
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WOW,
You've certainly won a lot of trophy's with this one.
And it is kinda nasty.
I really liked this pantoum, you did a great job with it. good luck in my contest.
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quite impressive as far as ideas go and vocab, rhyme, and overall originality. "it's numbness. it's madness. it's destiny" doesn't really work for me but that's the only line that stuck out to me like that. i reiterate that it's an impressive work, and i've written one pantoum before and it was really hard. but through much of this your stanzas are made up of 3 or 4 sentence-lines that really end kind of harshly. sometimes it just doesn't flow well at all. also, just my feelings on the title. seems too long and cumbersome to me. but still overall this is great. thanks for entering.
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Wonderful piece, excellent form and flow. A very powerful piece, thanks for this great entry. Hugs, Bunny
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i liked this one in paticular, and loved your vocabulary strewn throughout
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DQ Gold Trophy Winner
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This is fab...the line..
Fate knows the way, the hour you'll die; too late to cry.
really stood out for me in this..no idea why but there ya go....very well written, good luck in the contest with it
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This is stunning poetry! I'm awed by your talent and think it's a bit Poeish. That's a great form and I'm tempted to try it out. I wouldn't have known it was the 'mind of humanity' you were comparing to a Black Hole unless you'd pointed it out. I thought it was death. However this is a chilling and delightful read!
Peace Georgia
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magnificient! wonderful!
nicely written. the rhythm was amazing and the rhyming was awesome! Good Work and good luck! A bookmark most def!
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Thank you for your comments and happy
faces on A CHILLING FINGER-A SHRIVELING
SPECTRE.
Blessings,
liquid
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It's Nunmbness. It's madness. It's Destiny.
Inciting the Beast...Death's funeral pyre.
On Winter's slalom, lies insanity.
I can see the wisdom of the universal truth in the every stanza..you are quite wonderful here..thanks for this amazing work in my contest....
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This was just gorgous! I loved reading it! The rhythm was amazing and I didn't have any awkward hang ups with the flow.. wow.. thanks so much for entering this piece and welcome to my AP Homies!
Jessa♥
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Dear danceswsquirrels,
Thank you for hosting this contest, for the lovely SILVER TROPHY, points and especially
for honoring A CHILLING FINGER-A SHRIVELING
SPECTRE. I'm pleased to be among your AP
family as your AP "Heart Connector." Feel
free to ask for my heartfelt-guidance. I'll be pleased
to be of service to my spiritual AP heart-friend.
LOVELIGHTPEACE
liquid
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for my homies The get cute little designations.. like.. I have an AP Pocket home because I'm his Pocket Pirate.. and I have an AP Liver which is like lover, but we decided Liver was better.. those type of things.. what type of nickname would you want
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woot woot
excellent description skills, it's certainly a smart and contest poem
drifted and flitted link well and flitted like a fire fly worked magnificently
im proud you entered and ta for it too!
adios
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Wonderful job on the poem. I loved your word usage and placement in this. You did a great job. Good luck in the contest.
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i would like to congratulate you on a very well written poem and to wish you the best of luck in this contest which we both have entered. viyanna rosemarie
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"Its chilling finger uncloaking the threshing floor" - my favorite line.
This is my first time to read this poem. I will be re-reading all the entries like I usually do.
Initial score = 9.7
Thanks for sharing and keep on writing my friend.
VIRGOAN -
This is beautifully invisaged using the chosen form, which I think fits the ideas and imagery perfectly. The repetition adds to the unease, re-inforcing ideas of going insane.
Good write and congrats on bronze.
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This is a fantastic piece and
your rhyme and vocabulary add to the style.
You've talent, Dear Poet. Well done!
~May the ink in your pen flow freely~
Chaos
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You did a good job with this style and the rhyme was very good. (( Rhyming poetry is my style love it ))
Thank you for your entry and good luck in the contest. -
im impressed with your ability with rhyme! i find it difficult myself...
i see how the repetition is a central point of the poem, but i can help feeling like it was used to assist the rhyme? i could be wrong...
anyway, this is an interesting poem with some really well-chosen words. thanks heaps for entering! -
Am I insane hahaha for liking this? lol
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INSANE.
Very creative. Your rhyming is superb. Wow. This is my first entry and it is wonderful. Good job and Good Luck.
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Dear Fallen Under Light,
Thank you for hosting this contest. I thank you for honoring A Chilling Finer--A Shriveling Spectre with the GOLD TROPHY
and the points. Your appreciation of this work is received with gratitude.
LOVELIGHTPEACE
liquid
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WWWoooowwwwww..... this is EXACTLY the kind of poem I was hoping I would get in this contest. my apologies for my comment before this one. In my opinion, this was excellent. Though hard to follow at times, it was beautiful. Thank you very much for entering my contest and good luck.
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Dear Autumnsflame97,
Thank you for honoring A Chilling Finger---
A Shriveling Spectre with the GOLD TROPHY
the points and for hosting this contest.
Your appreciation of this work is received
with gratitude.
LOVELIGHTPEACE
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This was a well thought out poem and well decided on how it was written. Pantoums can be rather difficult to master, but you even extended it and it came out great! Very good write I have to say.
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Dear Cerebral Assassin,
Thank you for dropping in and commenting
on A Shriveling Finger--A Chilling Spectre.
Thanks for the happy faces, too.
Love,
liquid
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Just because I'm nice, I'll give you a warning---
Please put the option number if you would like to enter my contest.
Once you do that, I will read your poem. -
WHO......
This is definitely interesting and different. I love your word use and the chilling imagery it created. Very well written and done, good luck in teh contest
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hmm great write. quiet interesting. good luck in the contest.
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Dear ...23 clicks,
Thank you for your dropping by to read A CHILLING FINGER...
and for the sooooo fun applause fellow!
Many blessings,
liquid -
excellent style and flow. Every line was beautiful and it was very appropriate for this type of poem. good work
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