It’s in the papers so I’ve read
that three bears found a girl in bed
A young girl called Red Riding Hood
who on a short cut through the wood
A secret lair this young girl found
and stepped inside to nosy round
What happened then is in some doubt
it seems the bears had all gone out
The breakfast table though was laid
three bowls of porridge had been made
And so she saw no reason why
she should not give the meal a try
First she tried the larger pot
but found the porridge far to hot
The little dish so we are told
she left because it was to cold
The next one though she found just right
topped with something sweet and white
Just a spoonful, it was said
appeared to go straight to her head
We later learned the reason why
mother bear loved getting high
It seems from what she could recall
she had the urge to eat it all
And so it was with spinning head
she wandered off to find a bed
But Ma Bear’s bowl so it would seem
had properties to make one dream
The one she had was quite bizarre
and centred round her Grandmamma
She’d pointed ears, enormous eyes
the mouth appeared at twice its size
As to her teeth from all she said
had filled the little girl with dread
But worst of all when grandma spoke
she said she sounded like a bloke
The bears returned to find her there
Not the girl with golden hair
The one for whom they'd set the trap
but hoodie girl taking a nap
She woke to find to her surprise
The bears were vice squad in disguise
A tip had come into the force
that Goldilocks was pushing sauce
So mamma put it out that she
was looking for some L.S.D
Because of her the trap had failed
so young Red Riding Hood was jailed
While Goldilocks, from what I’ve read
had gone to grandma’s house instead
Twas there this young girl met her fate
and ended up by being ate
Poets look what you can do
by making one tale out of two
.
Author notes
Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood
OK so i took two fairy tales and ran with them in my own crazy way
Written November 8th, 2006
A contest entry
- TEN THOUSAND POINTS OF RHYME (Now 20,000+) Part 7 Humour by cricketjeff.
1250 points, ended January 15, 2008, 43 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Twisted Fairy Tales by KayJay.
700 points, ended March 26, 2008, 14 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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What a pleasure it is to read your work. Great job here!!!
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Thank you Ken for a great contest and for my bronze award,among so many great writes i count it as an honour thank you Congratulations to the other winners and all who entered some fantastic poems
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What a great write. A complete story (or two), well rhymed and a joy to read. Congratulations on the bronze and thanks for participating!
Ken -
I love this! so fun!
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Brilliant idea of combining the two stories in this wonderful modern day version. Very titterful entry, Good luck in the contest.
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Thank-you and congratulations, excellent poem and a well deserved prize. We hope to see you in the later rounds, all prize-winners are scoring points in the race to be crowned "Best Rhyming Poet on AP and thus the world!"
Thanks again for entering and supporting our rhyming extravaganza
Jeff and Sue
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Red Ridding Hood? Who could you mean
Another typo by machine
Terrific poem tickles me
The only fault that extra d
Each poem you enter I have found
Is amongst the best around
With three more chances for the fizz
You could be voted "best there is!!"
Thanks for the entry, already crying over your entry in the next round!
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Thank you Sir it's nice to know
of the appreciation that you show
And for the praise accorded me
in my attempts at poetry
As to the extra "D" I claim
it is my finger whose to blame
I tell him but he has a way
of ignoring what I say
Yet I found without his aid
my work would never make the grade
I guess that i must be content
you'll understand just what is meant
My thanks to you both for honouring my work as you have
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Oh I loved this. So fun and very cleverly written. This had me hooked from beginning to end. Wonderfully written. Well done!
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Thank you Kiran for your comments This one started out as just a little messing around when I had nothing to do That it turned out to be enjoyed by many of the readers Was a bonus So pleased that you found it to your taste Thank you for reading and commenting
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LOL!!!
I really enjoyed this.
It made me laugh out loud.
What an imagination!!!!
Blank.
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Tale of two, indeed this was a funny one! Thanks for sharing this poem. Still holding my sides! ~Sie
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thank you so much for taking time to read and comment i really do appreciate it
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wow.
wow this is so cute and funny! i love it!! haha
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If this is not simply exceptional, I don't know what is. An excellent work.
Bravo my friend. Bravo!! ~Pam 
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ohh Legend you truly are something you know that!
You have spinned two stories in one making it such a
delight to read and at the same time giving ideas to your
readers. Enjoyed this read.
Take care. -
Hey.. Legend. Trust me this is an awesoem effort
While starting was wonderin, if Goldilocks is miswritten as RRhood.. but now I get it. U r not only a poet, a writer as well, for you can make two tales into one and weave two tales from one 
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Loved it!
This was hilarious. I absolutely loved it. I just saw an episode of a show from the 60s that had these two fairy tales in it and the fact that these actors/singers were stoned most of the time and think of that while reading this poem made it even funnier. I really loved this. I was lauging all the way through, especially when it came towards the end. This was a really great poem. I loved it. Great job with this. Keep up the writing. You've got a talent. God Bless! -
Brilliant Legend,Thoroughly enjoyed this clever entertaining write. Whatever goes around that Nottonian head sure comes out packed with surprizes...Well done matey...mal
Edited on Nov 09, 3:54 p.m. because ''. -
fabulously funni
A thorughly enjoyable poem mate !
Fabulously cheeky ... I loved the combination of two tales together ... always wondered if someone would tie them together and make a funny poem about them; humour is the only way to go these days.
Wonderful read, thank you for the laugh
Stay safe
~Amanda
P.S: I love the last two lines best
"Poets look what you can do
by making one tale out of two"
Makes me think as though you are giving the 'moral' of this 'story'
Great job once again !
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First of all the title-O
brought me here to read and so
i read the first lines with a smile that
spread the whole width of my dial
Value for money (If I'd paid)
to read this story you have made
one great story made from two
no one could do this - only you!
thoroughly enjoyed
Von -
ohh I needed a smile tonight and when I saw your name I grinned
Thank you Legend once again you have given me a smile.
Love and Light
Frozentearz -
omg, too damn funny. Just what I needed this afternoon, a lighthearted farce to make me laugh. Job well done. Very entertaining.
Rory -
Legend--this is so funny, I've read it a few times and I'm still laughing. Only you could produce something as humorous as this---two of my fave fairy tales rolled into one lol. I love this part
She’d pointed ears, enormous eyes
the mouth appeared at twice its size
As to her teeth from all she said
had filled the little girl with dread
But worst of all when grandma spoke
she said she sounded like a bloke
In fact I love it all, it should be in a contest. Well done with this hilariouse poem.
Shaz xx
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Thank you Shaz I am just trying to catch up on my replies.So pleased that you found this one an enjoyable read Thank you for doing so
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Legend, I just thought there HAD to be a contest this was for. SO unique ! So well constructed. Two intertwined classics that had me thinking all the way through. Daren't miss a word. I just NEED to say, "Another Gold Methinks" Excellent piece. Just SO entertaining. Superb.....
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LOL! My friend you never cease to amaze me with your wonderful poetry. Hope you read this to your wife.
Please read and feel the burn in my poem Chili Contest... I think you both would like it.
I do make a nice batch of chili...
Jim -
Legend ~ Marvelous! I was smiling all the way through this one. What a terrific write - most enjoyable. All the best to you
~Elora~ -
Funny
I liked this. I really don't know what to say. I'm laughing so hard I can't hardly type.
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