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I wish i knew for sure

Sitting alone in the corner chair-

just smoking cigarettes;

the music plays in this empty room,

and speaks to me i'm sure.


Every song that i hear could be written for me-

the words narrate my life;

lending advice and a helping hand,

to see me through the night.


Shadows appear on the wine stained wall-

they're creeping past the smoke;

the candle's alive as the wind gets in,

beneath the kitchen door.


I know i'm alone but there's something strange-

it feels like someone's here;

an unseen force envelopes me,

i sense a loving feel.


Could it be true that she's following me-

and trying to explain;

i'm sad and i'm glad and i'm all mixed up,

i wish i knew for sure.














Author notes

nominated by brokenvessel Written November 7th, 2006

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • Melodies
    October 10, 2007

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    A dramatic poem that I admire! Ah, the mystery unfolding here.


  • Closetpoet1971
    May 25, 2007

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    A piece that makes you think!

    I truly can relate to parts of your piece. At so many times in my life have I felt so alone yet it almost seemed as if there were someone there letting me know that it will get better. The conflict of emotion I can relate to as well! A very good write! I wish you the best in this contest!!

    Shannon


  • Andu
    May 4, 2007
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    This poem flows so smoothly and easily, its impressive. And your imagery compliments your emotions very well. Your vocabulary is simple, yet it pains a vivid and eerie picture, but I liked it a lot, well done. Thanks for your entry in my contest and good luck!


  • XXBrunettexBarbieXX
    May 1, 2007

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    hey..this was a really great write..i really enjoyed reading this..your words were powerful and emotional and they flowed really well keep writting your talented and good luck in the contest

    ~Chrissy~


  • XHollowXEyesX
    May 1, 2007

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    wow, I dont quite know how to feel, like you wrote ' i'm sad and i'm glad and i'm all mixed up,' that describes what I am feeling. I love the language that you have used thoughout the write, it has great use of imagery, I can really picture everything. My favourite parts is when you write about the connection with the songs, that really added power and impact on me.

    great work.
    thanks for entering and goodlcuk


  • paullallady silver member
    March 5, 2007

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    Great imagery, both visual and emotional with this write. I love the easy flow to this one. The rhythm and flow were terrific.
    great job with this one and congratulations on the gold trophy.


  • Sweet Sorrow
    February 28, 2007

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    Sitting alone in the corner chair-


    just smoking cigarettes;


    the music plays in this empty room,

    and speaks to me i'm sure. ...words that speaks a lot.
    such an awesome poem not only a poem but there is something behind that tells a love story. the flows of each lines were perfectly done and with taste.very well done. i wish you luck in the contest. keep writing


  • dream5111
    February 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "Sitting alone in the corner chair-


    just smoking cigarettes;


    the music plays in this empty room,

    and speaks to me i'm sure." is my favorite part


  • Cherokee
    January 28, 2007
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    awwww... look at brokenvessel talk you up. Thank you for following the rules.

  • brokenvessel
    January 28, 2007

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    A fellow poet suggested that I read some of your work. She said that you were a great poet and that you were inspiring. I am in total agreement.
    This poem tells a story. Well detailed making this poem come alive. I would like to nominate this poem for an entry into Cherokee's contest. It is brilliant in its imagery. Flowing naturally with rhythm and rhyme, this would be an outstanding entry.


  • Cat gold member
    November 25, 2006
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    -

    there are some really nice moments in this piece- the idea for sure is strong- some of the delivery is a bit weak but comes around after practice- for instance : "i'm sad and I'm glad" can be said so much more effectively-
    thanks so much for entering the contest-

    m


  • NurseChilly gold member
    November 25, 2006

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    it's so hard being alone and left to our own thoughts. to dwell in that lonely feeling

    i liked how you put this together.. well done

    and many thanks for entering this contest


  • Inside and out
    November 7, 2006
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    Alex, just as I thought that I have read the best that you have to offer, you write an even more brilliant poem! You never cease to amaze me my friend.


  • Azure Rain
    November 7, 2006
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    This was a very interesting peice a nice visual!

  • veiledprofanityhehe
    November 7, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Sitting alone in the corner chair-
    just smoking cigarettes;
    the music plays in this empty room,
    and speaks to me i'm sure


    Striking. As first stanzas are supposed to be, I'm sure. As well as striking, it's also my favorite bit. Good show with this.

    Klove,

    Klee

1 - 15 of 15