The invitation stated that our tee off was at two,
At the golf course just adjacent to the Adam County Zoo.
“ Charity for fun,” it said, “So come and have a bash,”
Well, I thought, that sounds all right ~ at least we’ll raise some cash."
So fired with false bravado, I dug my old clubs out
(And found a host of spiders had built their webs throughout!)
So, rising to the challenge, I brushed off all the dust,
But as it came off in a cloud it showed up all the rust...
Our game was widely advertised, and drew in quite a crowd.
My hubby squeezed my hand and said, “Woman, make me proud!”
The other players all looked pro ~ not a hacker, like myself,
Their clubs were new and shiny, their outfits all top shelf.
I pulled my shabby golf bag to the edge of the first tee
(And felt that awful desperate urge to have a nervous wee!)
The players teed off one by one; their balls flew straight and true,
And as my dreaded turn approached my apprehension grew.
I agonised about my stance…did my bum stick out too far?
And what about my elbows? Would I even manage par?
I took my place and set the ball; the crowd was hushed and still.
I closed my eyes and raised my club and swung with all my will!
There came a pregnant silence as my ball took off at speed,
But the wretched thing then plummeted and caused a mass stampede!
I think it hit some poor old chap who stopped and clutched his head…
I had to ask him for my ball, my face a beetroot red.
On the second hole I lost two balls (and had to kick one, too)
I reached the green in twenty ~ and the crowd began to boo!
On the third I teed off badly and sliced into the rough,
And got a bee sting on the nose ~ I was doing it really tough.
The fourth was a debacle, the fifth a sheer disgrace,
My ball found every bunker ~ I was quickly losing face.
I did my most impressive shot on the fairway by the zoo…
But where on earth it ended up the inmates only knew!
With armpit rings and beads of sweat I must have looked a fright,
Though all the other players by now had moved on out of sight.
I pressed on (feeling awful), abandoned by the throng,
With only my faithful hubby there to encourage me all day long.
And as I reached the final green there was no one left to cheer ~
Everyone was at the bar to down some well-earned beer.
The sting of failure was so strong; I cried such bitter tears,
But my hubby took me in his arms and soothed away my fears.
“I said to make me proud,” he said, “and that’s just what you did.
You tried your best ~ and to me, my love, that’s worth a million quid.”
(A letter came the very next week from the Head of the Charity,
With a thank you note, and a gift enclosed…ten golf lessons, for free!)
In a list
A contest entry
- Hope-filled Poems by star wars fanatic.
575 points, ended January 25, 2007, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Cheer Me Up In Rhyme by piccola.
700 points, ended November 24, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
-
This cheered me pleanty! I know what it is like to want to do well and not reach that state of grace
It was your perserverence in the write that affected me with such pleasure. The rhyme and flow were great and helped move the story along so that it didn't become boring. Thank you for the entry.
-
Heheh this sounds like me playing golf, I played once (and I make sure you know it was only ONCE) got into every bunker there ever was on the course, had an arguement with my boyfriend, threw my club at him and broke my thumb, hence my retirement from the nice walk ruined by a tiny white ball game, was swift.... tis a wonderful tale told in only ways you can... I applaud thee for a sensational job
Karen
-
Lou you may be crap at golf but you you can't be good at everything.lol Loved your story, I know nothing of this game so I'll take your word for is with the 'golfing terms' However I reckon you've got a hole in one with this precious gem.
Von
-
Funny Story
Lols, I thought for a moment you might come back from the wilderness to score a resounding win! Not to be
, as far as the golf went, but certainly as far as love of a partner goes
Best wishes -Emmjay
-
I enjoyed this story...Got a really good laugh out of it...Sent some joy my way...Thanks...Loved the whole form and style...Good Job Poet..God Bless..
Good Luck in the contest..
-
nice job
This is cute. I like your rhyme pattern, especially since it stays consistent throught the whole poem, which is hard to do in long ones. Good work! -
That was a great poem, by the sounds of it you had alot of fun while writing it and it made me smile.
And how are the golfing lessons going. well keep writing and having good ideas.
-
This brought a smile to my face after a hard day at the office! Great writing Loe. I could just picture the stampede. Brilliant as ever!! Hugs Kath
-
Brilliant. Story telling Extraordinaire. Hilarious. Fabulous rhythm all the way through.
-
Brilliant. Story telling Extraordinaire. Hilarious. Fabulous rhythm all the way through.
-
Brilliant. Story telling Extraordinaire. Hilarious. Fabulous rhythm all the way through.
-
Brilliant. Story telling Extraordinaire. Hilarious. Fabulous rhythm all the way through.
-
Brilliant. Story telling Extraordinaire. Hilarious. Fabulous rhythm all the way through.
-
excellent!
Loved your poem!! First one I've ever read on this site, and it was a great one to start off with! -
This is great, though I've never played a serious game of golf, only putting on holiday! I might take it up when I retire(if ever) Your poem tells an entertaining, fun story and I loved it.
Ann -
This was so cute. I have taken golf lessons and even hit a few holes of golf and the mere fact that anyone could do it in front on strangers and even get in the hole in 20 is amazing to me. I really liked how you worded this. This was a very good piece of writing.
-
A natural talent
Hilarious...you poor thing! This really made me laugh...I could picture everything and feel your embarassement! Great work of art as far as i'm concerned -
Thumbs up, baby!!!
Awwwww... This was really cute. Only a couple lines didn't flow for me. But overall, I thought it was really well done in terms of the rhyming not feeling forced or being distracting. Great write. -
i love golf, though do not play it except on the ps2 lol a fun poem here, sorry for the naff comment, my eyes are still stuck together with sleep
spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...
Adding your comment:
1 - 19 of 19
