Wandering through life without you,
lost at every turn,
deliriously sad, stumbling around,
sliding down,
tears soaked with frustration,
a memory with each drop,
as they race down my cheeks
stinging and burning until
the last smidgen of loveliness
is smothered, and all that remains
is an ember of longing...
they don't understand
my broken heart.
Move on, I know it's what I must do,
exist in solitary subsistence,
awake from fantasy, into reality,
nobody said it was easy,
this game of life we have to play,
this sweet sorrow of losing you,
hardening me into maturity.
Perhaps, it's the only way.
The way it's supposed to be.
Author notes
Written November 6th, 2006
Option Five Event: Sept 11th, 2001
In a list
A contest entry
- 5 OPTION -- Prewrites allowed by Florida Sunshine.
525 points, ended July 29, 2008, 28 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Really Sad!!!
I really empathize with you losing your loved one in this a sensless tradgedy...I'll never forget where I was and what I was doing seven years ago...it is branded into my memory as vivid as the day it happened!!! This was such a reaching and tender poem it touched my heart deeply your loss and struggle to make sense of it all and try to move on...I also entered a 9/11 poem in this contest and would love your input if you care to take a read..It is called "I Will Always REmember" Thanks for sharing your account of that day and I wish you blessings and happiness from this day forward!!!!~~Toni~~
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Wow - The poem had a profound affect on me as it was written. Then when I reached the Authors notes all the pieces fell into place, bringing a tear to my eye.
Very strong words in my opinion:
"a memory with each drop,
as they race down my cheeks"
I remember the pain and anguish from that day. Those faces will be burned into my mind for all of eternity. Your poem gives an excellent tribute to those who are left struggling with the loss of that day.Thanks for entering the contest -- It truly was a pleasure reading your work. It will touch the hearts of many.
Best of luck,
Florida Sunshine B)
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I don't know what to say to this to be honest...Really good
Midnight -
Its difficult in ways words can't describe to say goodbye to someone who means the world to you, and the cliche saying so long as we remember them, they are never truly gone... it never helps, you still miss them. Take this from someone who knows all too well the expirience of loosing and missing people... move forward in your life but never forget. Wisdom would say not to dwell, but expirience says sometimes you just need to.
And don't assume "they don't understand" I think you'll this is an emotion that many can relate to.
The only dependable thing about the future is uncertainty
-Chaos -
Understanding
*sigh* Having plenty of expirience missing a loved one this piece is very understandable and i can relate to it well myself. Ive come to realise that being upset or losing someone doesnt nescisarely bring maturity..sometimes even the opposite.. [line 20] And that maybe when we;ve lost something it wasnt suposed to be.... because sadness is never rightly given nor justified...But anywho very strong and understanding.
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Nicely excuted...many can relate to your pain.
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Dear Duana,
This poem reminds me of how it was when I lost my mother. Losing a loved one isn't easy and is something a person never easily recovers from. I can really relate to the feeling behind this poem and the images you invoke with your prose. Nicely done!
John Carney
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Wow, this place has changed. And you've written so many new things! This is beautiful. I really like where you say that losing the person has made you more mature, because that's honestly what happens. You get through it and that makes you stronger. And I loved the line where you said and they dont understand my broken heart, just the way it was off to itself made it seem more vulnerbale to me, you know? Like you are when that happens. You should win (hint, hint) because if this doesnt say I need you then man, I dunno what does.
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Very poignant and very beautiful piece...
Well done! Thank you for sharing and for being a part of the contest! -
excellent ....it touch me in a very special way
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