She hates this world, she hates this life
No one to turn to, but her shiny knife
Bleed to death, but no one cares
As the skin on her wrists painfully tears
She loved a boy, or so she thought
Her heart was broken when he did not
He said he cared, but still she cryed
Because in her mind she thought he lyed
Her family mistreats her, misguides her in life
Another reason she grabbs her knife
They play with her mind, her emotions too
Then tell her they love her, but it cant be true
Daddy left, to get away from mommys attack
A part of her life she will never get back
So she goes away and hides from it all
Sits in her room and watches the blood fall
A slash for the love that never existed
And one for the feelings she always resisted
One for the father that was never there
Another for the family that will never care
When this didn't work she slit her throught
She felt the pain, then felt she could float
And as the demons carried her down the path to hell
She could faintly hear her mother yell
Wether it was all her fault, she was never told
But she took all the pain her heart could hold
Author notes
Written November 6th, 2006
Option three. Why cut.
A contest entry
- Darkness, Let Me See Your Darkness by AshesFromFire.
700 points, ended July 21, 2007, 79 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real... by Avalanche.Echo.
450 points, ended December 8, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I like it. I had a friend who cut herself and I didn't really understand why she did it. But you know this poem shed some light on it for me. Which is nice. I think what the poem said to me was watch your actions; you never know what you will be the cause of one day. Nice job.
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There were a lot of grammar and spelling issues. If you are as bad as me and always forget the spell check is there, I suggest downloading firefox. It's a web browser that comes with a spell check. However, you really need to reread your writes yourself, even spell checks make mistakes sometimes.
I liked the meter, but the rhyming seemed a bit forced. I think you limited your word usage too- a broad vocabulary does wonders for imagery and feeling! I think it was a slightly stereotyped view on cutting too, but still pretty real. -
I liked the thought behind the poem, but it was full of spelling and grammar issues and your rhyme was faulty and seemed forced.
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That last line was sublime.
"But she took all the pain her heart could hold"
I was thinking, oh god, yet another emo poem, but then I thought again. And you know, you've got the damn right to feel this. SO give me a cyber bitchslap for being so "grown-up" and narrowminded, and keep the ink, but not the blood flowing.
Hugs from an ex-cutter.
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Great
"A slash for the love that never existed
And one for the feelings she always resisted
One for the father that was never there
Another for the family that will never care"
Very powerful. Very good poem. I like how you speculate whether or not her pain is real or imagined but then end with "But she took all the pain her heart could hold" Sometimes people don't realize how much they're hurting someone. Great poem.
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Awesome
Wow. That impressed me greatly. Loved the flow and the word choice. Rhyme was awesome. -
damn! all your poems are so powerful, and really leave you thinking. this is actually quite scary, because people actually do that. but no matter what ill always love you so you cant! hahaha! lol anyway this poem is amazing. great work meggie!
Kelcey
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