Teardrops slide off my face and drench my bed
As I cry for my lover in my sleep
I think of her, she dances in my head
She left me, and without her love, I weep
The nights are cold without her beside me
The days are longer, staler, and lifeless
To the man who she now loves: I hate thee
Now my life is so cluttered and a mess
Soon my life will come to a screeching end
For my lover has made her decision
There’s no way for her to repair or mend
My broken heart, so deep the incision
She’s battered my pride, right down to the core
Shining is the dagger that I reach for
Author notes
This is another early poem. I really like this one, I hope you do too. This was my first Sonnet, and I think I did pretty well.
A contest entry
- Lost Love ( pre-writes allowed) by Rakerman1.
1100 points, ended April 6, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - heartbreak hotel ♥ by Captain Obvious.
375 points, ended April 30, 2007, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lost love, torn between lovers by Angel With No Halo.
525 points, ended April 11, 2007, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - &&; through the hour glass, she said "hello." by animated lies.
800 points, ended April 15, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything about being heartbroken...or breaking hearts by AngelEyes13.
300 points, ended April 12, 2007, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show Me Your LoVe--Round One!!! by KissMeGoodnight.
450 points, ended April 18, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Heart breaker by poet on skis.
330 points, ended April 20, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show me what you got! by SilentRose.
450 points, ended May 11, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Keep my attention by writing something great!!! by Luciferschild.
400 points, ended May 22, 2007, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Complicated Love by Senkura.
300 points, ended May 2, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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yes, u did do a good job on this one
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Beautiful
This is a beuatiful poem. I like the vocabulary and the emotion expressed. Thanks for entering. -
a sad poem but it still seems like it could have been written a bit more originally, thank you for entering and good luck
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very good example of a sonnet!! i like the emotion expressed in this poem. It makes me sad to know that I know someone n those shoes...I have also been there before. really good. thank you for entering my contest!! this helped a lot
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Fantastic
Wow, buddyboy. I just read this, even though it's been on here for a while. I was blown away. I know it sounds cheesy, but I really liked it. This is one of your best poems, and it really shows your skills. I loved the word choice, and the obvious display of emotions. The iambic pentameter was great, as is this poem overall. Great job.
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Very painful
It really hurts when someone we love either stops loving us, never does love us, or turns their love to another. Many a big man has fallen over this. But remember, God's love never fails. Never put the person you love on too high of a pedestal because they will surely fall and disappoint. Great poem, very emotional. You expressed your feelings very well in this one. ~Ron~
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oh geez, this is gorgeous. you gave me chills and almost made me cry. but wow you entered it in a lot of contests
lol
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Great poem and thanks for entering my contest.
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very well written. good luck! -Captain Obvious
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Really Great
I really like the last two lines. It is dark and desperate. Your first line has a lure to it that makes you want to read more. Great Job. -
Sometimes the pain or hurt from love becomes so overwhelming. The imagery in this poem is very nice and written well. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck. ^__^
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Love is such a black hole sometimes... once you are in it.. you cannot escape. For years I have tried to get over my first love.. but to no avail. I really liked this write. It made me feel a ton of emotions.I t took me back to why I still sit here hoping and wishing for him to come to my door.
Thank you for entering and good luck
~Krys~
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Great emotion here and nice R&R.
Thanks for entering and good luck
Raker -
This is a great write. I think it is the perfect length for what you were tyring to express. The rhyme is good and the low is smooth. Keep up the great work.
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I'm going to comment again because my other comment was laaaammee. Anyway, this is a beautiful poem. It gives me chills every time I read it, and it expresses your emotions perfectly. I don't even know what to say. I love it.
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wow
I must say that though this poem is really short i think that if you'd made it any longer it wouldve been over kill.
i loved every word in this poem. I honestly feel as if it couldve been written for me. [without the her's in it and whatever] i have to say that i really liked this. keep up the amazing work, you have alot of pent up talent. USE IT!
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Thank You
Thanks for such a meaningful comment. This is a poem from a while ago. You're right, I'll definitely try to write more and let myself go.
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Wow! This is really DEEP! I enjoyed it though. It tells how much pain and sorrow HEART BREAK causes and it's true! I like it a lot!
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Such a good poem. The way you expressed your pain was amazing. Keep up the good work!
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Thanks for the great review.
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Wowzers! This is a fantastic piece of poetry, I can feel your pain just reading it, it's filled with so much emotion, great job!!
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