Lost In The Darkness -Acrostic- by poeticweaver at All poetry

Lost In The Darkness~

Light vanished in hollow skies

Obliterate these emerald eyes

Spacious is my oppressed view

Tongues of lingo bathed in blue

Induce this anguish of the mind

Neglected in a world unkind

Tick-tock thoughts fall on puddle floors

Hell reaches through forevermores

Elected pleas evil ignores

Devastated by hopes all lost

Angel teardrops never defrost

Rinsed in blood where no-one knows

Knowledge within a wilting rose

Naked of light and divine love

Echo cries don't reach the white dove

Scents of sorrow mist one more tear

Silence death, my breath through the fear

Author notes

Lost In The Darkness~
^ Words Used To Create From The Contest Choice.
Thanks For Reading Me, Timothy~
Written November 6th, 2006

In a list

My Painful Pen • next in list

What did you think

Comments

1 - 78 of 78

By me, right now

Adding your comment:
Rheea
November 6
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dark holes run deep , when one can not climb out they stand and weep.

I hate dark holes Tim.
Introvert2006
November 17, 2006
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well versed
I pretty much think I can relate to this one sadly, but hey, atleast I can relate to something eh, haha, Tha's a start, we all have to start somewhere. Thanks for sharing, I enjoyed this piece lots.
PoetsAngel
November 15, 2006
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You have penned a masterful piece here my friend, just the type of poetry I love to read, leaves me feeling and thinking, maybe one day when I finally grow up I too will be able to write like this

Cathy
Never Fall in Love
November 13, 2006
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This is awesome
extremely great write
i love your word choice
how its not the normal everyday language
its something different
which is very much needed
amazing job
keep it up!

~NeVeR~
LegalEagle
November 12, 2006
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acrostic poems are so much fun. they are so creative and you did a good job with this one,
EatYourSunlight
November 12, 2006
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wowo, this is a kind of poem i wish i could write like. its defenitly inspiration really really amazing
November 12, 2006
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Very good.
Wow, this is a really good poem. I like the way that you used an acrostic and also made the poem rhyme, which I think must be quite hard to do. At least, I;ve enver tried it myself before. Maybe I should... Anyway, back to your poem: I think that there is only one problem with this poem, and that is where it says:

"Tick-tock thoughts fall on puddle floors
Hell reaches through forevermores
Elected pleas evil ignores"

The problem is that, unlike the rest of the poem, its a rhyming triplet not a rhyming couplet, and I don't think it quite fits into the rest of the poem because of it. However, I do know that you can't just take out that whole section... I don't really know how that could be changed, though, except by changing the whole poem so it had an even number of lines.
twinzy001
November 11, 2006
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Always Amazing
twinzy
seafoam dream
November 11, 2006
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whoa!!!! really deep!!!! i wish i could do that!!!!
lucy sky-diamond
November 11, 2006
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beautiful imagery and ideas, a wonderful write, u shood be v proud of this piece. proves that poems dont have to rhyme to be. congratulations on a brilliant and beautiful piece of work. keep it up
fisho
November 11, 2006
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AWESOME
So abstract that it makes sense - when your spiritually or mentally - lost in the darkness! LOVE IT!
lovedoctor
November 11, 2006
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How do you find the right words to put in a poem like this. To make each line start with the letter you want it to must take a lot of talent. The time this took you, I can't imagine. Good work, and I hope to read more of your poetry.
maryannde
November 10, 2006
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Damn Timothy...this was outstanding work! Never having been a great fan of the acrostic poem, perhaps it was always simply because they had no flow, no feeling.

This only goes to show when you are a good poet, you can bend the form to prove that point.

I especially loved the last line...

Excellent...dark, painful, yet absolutely beautiful!

Mary Ann
unco
November 10, 2006
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you've got some serious skills!
Lil-Bit Crazy
November 10, 2006
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incredible wow your just so awesome...!
poetrylover4-life
November 10, 2006
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I loved the poem. I liked how you used your title as the format. That was the first thing i noticed. The poem got me thinking. Great job.
Black-Moon
November 10, 2006
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This is truly a haunting and strange poem, one that makes you shiver while needing to read more. The first two lines are my favourite. Although mostly I enjoy non-rhyming poems which are less mysterious and more blunt- sad realist poems, that captured my eye. Good job.
Love, Black-Moon
suzzieque53
November 10, 2006
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excellent
Thia is a very good right so deep and so true. When you feel lost in the darkness of the world it seems as thought light will never shine again in your life. But it is not true there will be a day when the sun will shine again.
November 10, 2006
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wow...amazing.It's sad but very beautiful.
LiveAndLetDie
November 9, 2006
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wow... that was amazing..i love this... one of the best ones i've read in a while... it was dark, flowed amazing, i could picture it all, the rhyme was good too... it was just f***ing amazing! thats all there is to it lol... and i pretty much feel like that all the time, u did a good job... keep writing amazing poems that i can read! lol
LinaFaunk
November 9, 2006
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Wonderful
I love your poem. It describes exactly how I feel like all the time. You are a very awesome expressive poet.
Tyrseh
November 9, 2006
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Beautiful sorrow
Gripping imagery, great pace and some wonderful rhythmic touches. I don't usually get angst poetry but this one is truly beautiful. Nice job!
poetic
November 9, 2006
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good
Your poem is dark, but it flows well and the reader can understand where you are coming from. I would try to clean up some of the rhymes, but it was pretty good.
slanderous
November 8, 2006
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wow this is absolutely incredible!!! and i'm stupid and it took me a minute to realize the "LOST IN THE DARKNESS" format.. lol. but that was even cooler when I figured that out. Amazing. keep it up.
imalwayzmissinu
November 8, 2006
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This is one of the best poems I have ever read. It is truly amazing. Its very deep! Great job you have a lot of talent!
Heather
poetry freak
November 8, 2006
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your right you can't trust no one!!!!
Lowell Poe
November 8, 2006
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sad and wonderful
your like a domesticated wolf between the house and the woods.Excellent!!......lowell poe
Wesley Storer
November 8, 2006
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We all wear masks that disguise all the
heartaches we've been though..Since early
youth I have been so deeply traumatized by
the evil things men have done that I have been
essentially brain dead. This is why I can never write
good poetry)
blondone
November 8, 2006
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such sorrow and pain in this write great job and the words flow with such ease beautifully written...
blitz
November 8, 2006
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damn! that is one of the best poems ever can you send me links to more of your poems please? like three or four of your top poems i mean wow i loved this one and would like to read more please
Desire
November 8, 2006
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Wow-
Holy Momma
Excellent Masterpiece You have penned Timothy and I know
I inhaled this days before but I must have had an Elvis
sighting or something because I don't see my comment

Powerful Acrostic Sweet Soul
and this one rhymed too
Now that is one Challenge You did with ease

Angel teardrops never defrost
Wow~
Thank You for sharing Your talent busy bee
Many blessings to You
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
Sun Seeker
November 8, 2006
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Acrostic and rhymed! And I have trouble doing either one or the other... But both?! In the same poem?! You're good! Real good! Excellent work!
soulfultia
November 8, 2006
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good
This was an amazing and creatively talented write from you. I truly enjoyed the journey this write took me on. Taps in to the deep dark water. I think you did a wonderful job and thank you for sharing your gift with us! Great rhythm and rhyme throughout and a flow that just takes hold and keeps you glued to each line until the end. A pleasure to read! ~Tia
greeneyedmuse
November 8, 2006
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quite a lovely dark write you've got here. a well written dark write, though the bolded first letter of every line takes away from the actual content of the poem.
~sammy
Ravenlove34
November 8, 2006
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wow
Wow is all i can say wow
The-Poet-Of-Dreams
November 8, 2006
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reallyyyyyyyyyyyy goodddddddddddd
wow this is so deep, you got a lot of skill and talent and a lot of feelings. well continue writing, never give up.
--Rising Fallen--
November 8, 2006
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excellent
That was beautifuly sad, the imagery, emotion and blunt truth of this poem mix together to form the best thing I've read in a long time. Great write.
Cannonsfire
November 8, 2006
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A true rose
A lovely acrostic and so well formed. The rhyme is flowing and the imagery is so strong to the photo. Well done.
freebutsafe
November 8, 2006
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Great write
LoveEssence
November 8, 2006
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Timmy. Again I see you writing the most amazing words. I hadn't visited in a while. My friend, Jeff, let me know you had a new write up. I absolutely love it like I do all your stuff. I'm sure you get tired of hearing the virtually SAME comment everytime I read a new write of yours. Haha. I'll find something new and exciting to say about this one. I like how amazing you made the word "The" I mean, if you ask me, it says SO much. It could pretty much be an acrostic of its own. I really believe you made the inconsequential little word "the" into such a working masterpeice. Keep it up, Timmy. Sweet Soft Heart that I love. <3

Lauren. <3
Titus
November 8, 2006
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Morbidly beautiful was some understate, this was darker than dark to beautifully chapel-like, hauntingly sublime!!
still crazy
November 8, 2006
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excellent rhyming, excellent flow, overall I really ejoyed reading this write.
OceanicEyes
November 8, 2006
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Very nice. Grade: A
I was listening to Slipknot while reading this, The Virus of Life...hmmmmmmmmm
lol if devine coincidence has a warped sense of humor, I just saw it!
Really awsome piece of writing you have here. It all fit together very well and I was impressed with your rhyming. It isn't always easy in acrostics, but you pulled it off very well. The subject was dark, depressing, and caustic...in other words, my kind of poetry

The "darkness" acro stanza forrayed a little too far into the EMO catagory, but alltogether an outstanding piece. Well done.
Nra
November 8, 2006
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Wonderful!
Firstly, thank you for the rhyme, love all poems that do. I feel your words and that holds the meaning for me!
Edited on Nov 08 because ''.
PhoenixGodwin
November 7, 2006
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WOW!
That was awesome!!

I was severely impressed. Very original, at least to me, and you did a great job in how and what you did with it. Amazing job.
StarDust23
November 7, 2006
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Awesome
This is a beautiful write. I love the depth of your words and your descriptive imagery. Great Right! Good Luck with the contest. I think you have a winner here!
Kari
November 7, 2006
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awesome
WOW now this is amazing and beyond deep. You've done a great job here. The graphic really does well with the poem. Good luck in the contest.
Kari
femurlee
November 7, 2006
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Superb
This is cool! The last line is a winner: ... "I see life's unfair." It's so damning but true in instances. Your poetic imagery and flow were excellent. A good acrostic. Peace will come ...
HubertCumberdale
November 7, 2006
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what a great write!! i love acrostics and the rhyme scheme is just great as well. it was just a beautiful piece. great job!!!!
brothaluv
November 7, 2006
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ahh...timothy, good right my friend.

perhaps the best acrostic i've ever seen.

much enjoyed.
♥ Anthony
Jeremy0826
November 7, 2006
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This is an amazing write.
I love this acrostic and think
you did a great job with it.
Thanks for sharing this!

Allen0826
suthrnbell84
November 7, 2006
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WOW! That was morbidly beautiful and I absolutely loved it! That is one of the best poems I have ever read.
magicalprincess
November 7, 2006
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Excellent!
Excellent.
A look into the inside.
wonderful flow. well done.

Loads of love, Kayla
Allure of a Rose
November 7, 2006
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Ohh, how lovely.
This poem is so beautiful, it just flows so easily. Upon reaching the end one finds themself scrolling back up and reading it again...and again.
You've done a truly amazing job.
These lines are my favourite:

"Light vanished in hollow skies

Obliterate these emerald eyes"

Now, a wish that your talent never fades...

-Allura
timetofade
November 7, 2006
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I'm speechless...that was beautiful and so sad at the same time.
I was intrugued by the title, and hooked after just the first stanza.
I'm impressed by your ability to incorporate such unforced rhyme into an acrostic piece.

keep up the wonderful work!

♥ beth
Bruised.Roses
November 7, 2006
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wow! this was really amazing!!!!! it was so whispy and I don't know.....insightful or inspirational...or maybe a bit of it all!!!!! I loved it truely every word....especially this:

Angel teardrops never defrost
Rinsed in blood where no-one knows
Knowledge within a wilting rose

Beautiful...just beautiful!!!!!! keep writting
~tasha~
Creatress
November 7, 2006
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Two Thumbs Up
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well Done! A lot of really fresh intriguing lines that I just loved. You also used a lot of "old" imagery in new ways which I always like to note. Times where you think it is going to touch on a familiar worn down topic and then you are totally surprised. That is always fun..I think that my favorite line would have to be:
"Spacious is my oppressed view

Tongues of lingo bathed in blue"
Great job, thanks for posting this.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Creatress~~
hks
November 7, 2006
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i hate u

ur the kind of person
that makes newbs like me
lose contests

=[[

lolol
jp.

nice write!
Wish-Of-Dreams
November 7, 2006
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well done
Exactly what i was looking for. Thank you.
broken.inside
November 7, 2006
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Lost in the darkness... aren't we all. bravo.
November 7, 2006
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FANTASTIC!!!!
Great Job with this! I commend you on a great poem - I feel inspried to do the same!
Angels Delight
November 6, 2006
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Uncle Tim...

This was simply amazing...You have a wonderful talent and I am so glad you decided to enter...

I wish you the best of luck in the contest...

Love ya
Tes
poeticweaver
November 6, 2006
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Thank you for your time and kind words.
michellemybelle
November 6, 2006
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Beautiful imagery, rhyme, flow...just perfect! So
many wonderful lines, like this one;

Tick-tock thoughts fall on puddle floors

Good luck, not that you need luck, you have amazing talent.
Heavenly Angel
November 6, 2006
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Awesome, awesome, awesome, my sweet love brother!
Is there nothing you cannot do? Wow! And yes, that is an understatement
I love you muches
Roseleaf
November 6, 2006
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Just Dively done Wow Somewhere it takes me shows me many a word delightly done insight towards enlightment for US/U
Bravo to you my friend as you webb/ebb your words which your gifts you give today

Love*Light*Peace
Pauline
poeticweaver
November 6, 2006
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Thanks so much for your support, much love, Timothy
Cynt
November 6, 2006
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"Light vanished in hollow skies
Obliterate these emerald eyes"
wow i love the beggining line, well really i love the whole thing! You did a great job on this! I love the style and form, bravo! - cynt
Sunkissedrose
November 6, 2006
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Well I'm not one to shy away from telling you what I think...and I loved this....about how I am feeling right now...I love the way it flows, the message...and the imagery flowing through this. Excellent write, and I can't wait to read more of you.

xoxoxoxox
Carrie
New-n-Improved
November 6, 2006
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Gifted and Talented
This poem is the bomb. This is the sh^t. at first I didn't see the whole title on the side but when I read it a third time, I was like damn. very well written and very well worded. I need to read this everyday and one day hope to see this poem in a book or on some kind of hallmark card. please keep writing poetry and I'll keep reading them. again this is the best poem that I have ever read. you have the best word structure that I've ever seen in a poem and I wish that I could have your talent.
Sandygram
November 6, 2006
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WONDERFUL
What a beautiful acrostic. Your imagery was amazing. Great use of the contest words. Thank you for sharing. Take care, Sandy EXCELLENT WRITE!!!!!!!!!
XTiffanyMarieX
November 6, 2006
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I could never write something like this if my life depended on it.
I absolutley love this.
<33Tiffany
Sacred Ground
November 6, 2006
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Beautiful, Cousin, as always. The imagery is flawles as is your rhyme. Love ya!
poeticweaver
November 6, 2006
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Thanks, glad ya liked it!
DesolatELifE
November 6, 2006
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put quite simply, WOW!!
to put it in a much greater depth, WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW! that was fucknig awesome! whoosh!

nice one!
Veronica Leigh
November 6, 2006
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I LOVE this acrostic! It's so beautiful and so deep! I miss reading your works! I must do so more often! Wonderful job as always. This is a beautiful piece of art.
poeticweaver
November 6, 2006
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Thanks sis, I appreciate ya,
glad ya liked the form and flow!
HisBreathlessDream
November 6, 2006
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Timothy

Hey big brother Just dropped in to see this wonderful write and have my mind blown away once again by your amazing pen!! Success WEll... I love the style flow and imagery they are all strong and very well placed and matched. I loved every bit but especially the lines contained within the words 'In The'

Good Luck sweet poet!