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Seven Deadly Sisters

Seven sisters,
Seven beauties,
All as deadly as each other,
In a life full of sin.

Superbia,
Everything revolves around her,
With her ego floating so high,
She shall only think of herself,
And leave you hanging on your own.

Avarita,
She carries out the life of a thief,
But has riches fit enough for a queen,
Hunting down such treasures is her life,
For she can't get enough of these expenses.

Luxuria,
Don't be fooled be her good looks,
Although her beauty exceeds all others,
She'll take you in and play you like a fool,
Then leave you hanging with nothing but erotic thoughts.

Invidia,
Is the clear water,
Is the reflection in the mirror,
Following in everyone's footsteps,
Leaving her life behind.

Gula,
Give her chocolates and roses,
Expensive diamonds and riches,
Gourmet foods and all kinds of things,
Let her enjoy, let her indulge.

Ira,
A life of anger and hatred,
Harsh and cruel punishments,
She awards every single person as she crosses,
The life which she leads, with pain and torture.

Acedia,
Refusal to move from her spot,
Sitting and watching the world go by,
Only moving whenever it's necessary,
With a S L O W, dull life.

Seven sisters,
Seven beauties,
Seven demons,
Seven deadly sins.

Author notes

Based on a topic of interset, the seven deadly sins, they are:
Pride
Greed
Lust
Envy
Gluttony
Wrath
Sloth.
Each of these sins have been repesented by their latin names.

"I read the rules, option #2

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 19 of 19

  • C.I.M.A Punk
    December 21, 2008

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    I really love this poem. The flow is very nice and the personification is well done.
    The Latin names are a great detail.

    Great job!


  • shattered logic
    March 21, 2007

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    Hey, sorry I didn't comment on it I was just extremely busy.
    Now to your poem, I really liked it, You captured all seven sins beautifully. The flow was nice and it was very well worded. I really liked the ending, it put closure to your writing. All in All you wrote a gem here. Thanks for entering my contest.


  • individuality gold member
    November 27, 2006

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    i think that this is a good piece of poetry i find which you have written here with some style, it holds a nice gentle rhythm to the poem and the flow is very nice indeed. i enjoyed reading it with my eyes. i thank you very much indeed for sharing your poetic talent. spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...


  • undertones
    November 26, 2006
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    awesome write. i loved the names and the small little biographies that you created for each of the deadly sins. although i am normally fascinated with the seven deadly sins anyway, this write was just truly well done and stands out. well done!


  • Providence
    November 26, 2006

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    Marvelous!

    Ohhhhhhhhh very very good. Many here try to tackle the deadly seven without much luck, but you have given them an alluring face, which makes them that not potent!

    Marvelous!
    Marianne


  • Avatar of Innocence
    November 25, 2006

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    Great concept, needs great finishing

    I find it remarkable that you were able to personify the seven deadly sins and effeminize their quality. I don't know whether you strayed a bit from each sin's core in the name of subtlety, or in an effort to give the sins a more flavorful character. Hmm. The only problem with this poem is that is tells more than it shows and the choppy introduction of each sin is more boring than flowy.

    Ira has a typo or some horrible misspelling: torture, not tortcher.


  • Ceasement
    November 19, 2006

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    This poem manifests such interesting characters! Don't take that the wrong way, please, I mean to say that they are unique. I'd have to agree with Norman Normal and DaughterofDarkness; the sins are personified quite well. Great work!

    -Reiyn


  • Lady Ireland gold member
    November 18, 2006

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    Great!

    Surprised OMG! i have seven sisters and this title attracted me to read this poem. it is well written and also done very cleverly on a interesting subject. i can see all my sisters in these lol. i think i'd be luxuria lol... good write indeed. good luck. Dolores.Kiss


  • Lady Ireland gold member
    November 18, 2006
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    Excellent


  • TripleGoddess
    November 18, 2006

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    The title made me think about my favourite book. It's called "Sweetblood" and it's by Pete Hautman. I thought this because of one of the parts of the books mentions seven blood drops on the ceiling, and the narrator calls them the seven sisters.
    I really like the format you use with describing each of the sisters. And your vocabulary usage is well rounded. There aren't too many "big" words, but there's also a balance between less common and common words.
    I didn't realize that it was about the seven deadly sins until the last line. I like the metaphor you used.

    Blessings, Skye.


  • November 18, 2006
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    <3

    wow


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    November 17, 2006

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    I actually think this is a really clever and very well written... Well done for looking up the latin names and it's a really genius idea!!! I think you deserve an applause so i'll give you one! Anyway thanks for sharing I think this is a really good topic and I love the topic as well!

  • Divine Inspiration
    November 17, 2006
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    A Book...a film...a must...

    'I would love to read the next episode...very very good but almost the outline to the female version of the 'seven deadly sins'..


  • Manda Kathryn Greeters member
    November 10, 2006
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    excellent

    What a fantastic write !
    I love how you have used the latin names for the seven deadly sins ... it brings almost a sense of mystery to the words ...
    Very excellent write ...
    Keep writing
    Stay safe
    ~Amanda


  • robert bolin
    November 9, 2006
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    Brilliantly penned visually stunning and dangerous to see
    Awsome write thank you for allowing me to read and comment on your work..


  • sevnsyn silver member
    November 9, 2006
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    This is really cool..very nice work on a very very old story.. I liked it very much...love you a/p name to!


  • Girl Mad As Birds
    November 7, 2006
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    Wow that was really cool, I like the Latin names and the way you personify them as women, it's cool and kinda makes me think of mythology. Great job


  • purple wings
    November 6, 2006
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    MY WORD!giving them theyre latin names really does bring them to life,n thats a bad thing but this poem isnt.great write.

1 - 19 of 19