Journey
beyond blissful
gates where mist memories,
peaceful preservation beyond
Reality lies Dreams dance along stars
under the moons magic wand. It
brings Light with words of Sun
to guide on this
journey.
Serene
crane canopies
of fluttering feathers
cry crystals over sweet heavens,
blanket blessings also embraces Earth's
angelic arches. Shape shift forms
in Mother Nature痴 arms
to be cradled
serene.
Prophet
gives priceless wealth
by lessons learned through sights
and sounds seen while breathing beauty.
Mundane becomes mystical enchantments;
Fantasies take flight, Light whispers
that each moments a Gift
for us to reap
prophet.
Author notes
Form: Rictameter (3)
Rictameter is a scheme similar to Cinquain. Starting your first line with a two syllable word, you then
consecutively increase the number of syllables per line by two. i.e. 2,4,6,8,10 Then down again,
8,6,4,2 Making the final line the same two syllable word you began with.
Written November 5th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Form Contest - Rictameter by Seeking Peace.
750 points, ended August 21, 2007, 27 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Congrats on the Silver!
I didn't see this one before, but I'm glad I've had a chance to read it now. I've worked with rictameters so little, have yet to try a double or triple one, so it's very inspiring to see them done so well like this. Makes me think I should work with the form a bit more. I love your word choices and actually...I think this fits your writing style perfectly. I've often noticed the way you are able to cut out "filler" words in your poetry, and it reads wonderfully in a form like this. Loved the alliteration too...
Congrats again and best wishes,
~J.
-
-
Aaaaaaaaaw Thanks Trista
I still work with forms to just challenge myself~
but each time...I think I improve somewhere
also work to remove the fillers since it is so syllable
conscious
and try to have it look balanced
I have made some lopsided forms in the past
Appreciate Your visit busy bee!
and much love~ Desire~*~
-
-
Welcome to the finalist, this is just wow, beyond words for me, seamless, beautiful and profound... well penned
Thank you for taking the time to enter this contest, I wish you the best of luck
Karen -
Excellent
Beauty of form, beauty of word. A real masterful blessing for the reader.
-
and Thank You so much for the visit Lilac
Appreciate Your time as always and definitely
the generous insightful comment
I知 Happy You enjoyed this one~
Regarding the:
angelic arches are metaphor for the trees and
Forms shape shift...
meaning the birds...cranes move like origami figures..
they change from stationary to flight...
changing shapes...
Origami figures are normally associated with cranes..
Cranes are known for their graceful movements...
A special event to watch...
especially during the mating season....
Hopefully that helps...
Thanks again for stopping by my Friend~
Love and Light
Many blessings to You
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
-
and Thank You so much for the visit Mally
Appreciate Your time as always and definitely
the generous comment
I知 Happy You enjoyed this one~
Thanks again for stopping by my Friend~
I値l be over Your way soon
Love and Light
Many blessings to You
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
-
I like this Desire......very much....wonderful ricter.....
Mally -
and Thank You so much for the visit John
Appreciate Your time as always and definitely
the generous comment
I知 Happy You liked this one~
Yahooooooooooo~
Thanks again for stopping by my Friend~
I値l be over Your way soon
Love and Light
Many blessings to You
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
-
and Thank You so much for the visit David
Appreciate Your time as always and definitely
the sweet comment
I知 Happy You liked this one~
Yeah
Thanks again for stopping by Sweet Soul~
I値l be over Your way soon
Love and Light
Many blessings to You
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
-
and Thank You so much for the visit Terry
Appreciate Your time as always and definitely
the sweet comment
I知 Happy You liked this one busy bee~
Thanks again for stopping by my Friend~
I値l be over Your way soon
Love and Light
Many blessings to You
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
-
and Thank You so much for the visit Brother Bear
Appreciate Your time as always and definitely
the generous comment
I知 Happy You liked this Rictameter~
The third form represented the Spiritual aspect
of profiting...in regards to the Journey through
Nature's frontier...so to speak
Thanks again for stopping by Busy Bee~
I値l be over Your way soon
Love and Light
Many blessings to You
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
-
Wonderful write ~
First off, perfect count....I saw Lilacs' comment
Then I counted it 3 times again....nice job ~
My son was bothering me...grrrr
Then after everything was calm again....I did it all over again....good job ~
The most important thing to me is always the theme/storyline ~
As you well know ~
Unless it has to do with syllables of course
So I read the story/theme 3 times....very pretty ~
I was not crazy about the 3rd Ric.'s tone as I was with the first two, but it all worked....no worries ~
Hey, you know me and my opinions
Best of luck Sis ~
.........other than that....very nice Ric X 3
-
Excellent
I have tried many times to write a Rictameter and find it very difficult, but will keep practicing and one day will get it right, lol. This is a very well written and beautiful Rictameter, keep up the great work and best of luck to you in the contest .
Cheers
Terry -
wow..awesome
you amaze me with your talent and poetic skill...this is awesome...smile...hugs and love, David -
This was beautiful, from imagery to message, just beautiful.
That last verse was priceless!!
"Profit
from priceless wealth
by lessons learned through sights
and sounds seen while breathing beauty.
Mundane becomes mystical enchantments;
Fantasies take flight and whisper
that each moments a Gift
for us to reap
profit"
Thanks for sharing.
John
-
and Thank You so much for the visit ~Lilac
Appreciate Your time as always and definitely
the generous comment
Thank You for using Your power of syllable counting
to catch that..I used a counter and it missed it
~
I made the changes to this and the other...
I'm so syllabled out
Thanks again for stopping by my Friend~
Appreciate the time~
Love and Light
Many blessings to You
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
-
Hi Desire, I've just noticed on line 5 on 2nd rictameter you are a syllable short, it should be 10 and you have 9
you still have time to put this write
Love ~Lilac
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