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Asleep beneath the banyan trees

 

Asleep beneath the banyan trees       This moment under heaven’s ray
A picture perfect summer scene        To rest within the lover’s lay
Of endless peaceful fantasies         This light that shines between the day
Of winter night and autumn breeze     Then searching for the final play

And spring upon a rosy dawn           Darkness under demon’s crest
In endless life a child reborn        Forgotten failure seeks the best
For lambs their coats of winter shorn For marvels must be put to test
As roses sprout from barren thorns    Eternal night where shadows rest

Eternal night the shadows rest        Yet roses sprout from barren thorns
And marvels might be put to test      While lambs their coats of winter shorn
Forgotten failure seeks the best      An endless living child reborn
In darkness under demon’s crest       Where spring brings forth a rosy dawn

While searching for the final play    In winter nights an autumn breeze
See light that shines between the day For endless peaceful fantasies
And resting in the lover’s lay        Some picture perfect summer scenes
A moment under heaven’s ray           Asleep beneath the banyan trees

 

Author notes

Just popped into my head last night
Written November 5th, 2006

I originally wrote the poem on the left hand side, then I found that it made sense for the most part if I inverted the lines (right hand column). I also thought in the end that it read well left to right, line by line as well as column by column , so I got four poems for the price of one as it were.

 

Note for Fairy Nutty Buddy: I read your contest description and this poem immediately popped into my head, I know it may be a little long and I would suggest for a bookmark it be printed first the left hand column and then the right-hand side. I put it in 'cause you were doing your contest as a quicky and I will try to put a new write in (even if it kicks this one out of the contest, 'cause I'd like to give you a new write if I can)

 

Author: Adrian J Dawes

 

 

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Comments

1 - 18 of 18
  • Adrian! Sheesh. I just clicked on "submit comment" and noticed I had already made a comment on this poem, so had to go check it out.
    • Its all good Kimberley, I did read the requirements of the contest, as I said I know its a bit long but it came to mind only after reading the requirements, specifically:

      ...need peace, beauty, relaxation, that sort of thing

      Still working on a replacement for it as I said, will try to get it in before the contest closes...promise on the try bit

      I do hope you get what you are looking for, there seem some decent ones to pick from already entered.
  • That is not reading under a tree nor would it fit on a bookmark! Me thinks people are reading the title and not the rules and entering their prewrites.

  • Fairy Nutty Buddy silver member
    August 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love the format here! I wondered, "what the heck?" when I first saw it laid out, but it was a peaceful read and I like the switchback of the lines.


  • lovelifelive
    August 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Amazing just amazing you write with such easy really enjoy the flow in pull you in


  • walks-in-clouds
    June 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I really enjoyed reading this. I'm sure there is a technical name for it but I really liked how smoothly it went backwards as well as forward.

    . Rewarded 4


    • WarrioroftheHeart
      June 14, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      There may well be, but I haven't found it - the name I mean. I am glad you enjoyed it and thank you for your comment and applause

  • Amaranthine Lover silver member
    June 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    extremely well written piece
    nicely illustrated
    really draws me in
    and I grasp the entity of it
    you had a great sense of imagery
    and language in here
    beautiful poem
    I really like it
    keep writing
  • oldpoets
    June 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very well written. The rhyme, the flow were near perfect. It surely made for a wonderful read.


  • pearl-dragon
    June 9, 2007

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    Obviously your siesta beneath the banyan trees sharpened your senses. Once I realised which way I was reading (no, I am not dyslexic) I could see what you were saying. Yet, the rhythm flows either way. It made me think of things being reborn.


    • pearl-dragon
      June 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      mmmmm

      But I still like the words themselves and what they bring to mind for me. Sleep on it, might be better tomorrow.

      • WarrioroftheHeart
        June 10, 2007

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        Slept on it, nup this is the best I am willing to do. I am afraid I'll stuff it right up if I do more

    • WarrioroftheHeart
      June 9, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks, It was sort of on seasons and their changes so I'm glad you got a feeling of rebirth from it. Now I went in to edit the comments, like Linda insisted, I can't line up the columns anymore

  • Recluse Writer gold member
    June 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very good piece if reverse psychology hon~

1 - 18 of 18