Wind will blow
Fire will burn
Water will cool
And Earth will bruise
But no one speaks of the damage of time
No matter what the other four do
Time always prevails
It does not stop and can’t be remedied
But what if it could be
Would we live forever?
Or would the other elements
Take us away
Why do we succumb to time?
Why can’t we find a way?
To save ourselves from the future
We could go on forever
We would only have one thing left to fear
Ourselves
For it seems that no matter what we do
We undo it almost instantly
We find a way to heal
And then kill a hundred men
Where is the sense
We should be protecting each other
But we insist on destruction
If we dropped the weapons of the world
We could all live happily
But we just assume that the second
We lay down our arms
We will be crushed
By the enemies that we have created
And how did we create these enemies
We insisted on destruction
When we might have been able
To talk our way out of our problems
Where is the benefit of fighting?
No matter what both sides will be hurt
Is it just so we can say?
I killed your men so, ha, I’m better
I think that we should find a way
To stop the hatred
To stop the deaths
To stop the wars
Author notes
Written November 5th, 2006
A contest entry
- Give Me Your Best!!! by KnightOfTheRose.
425 points, ended May 25, 2007, 135 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your best work. by BurnBrandMemory.
443 points, ended April 30, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your absolute best poem by Gypsy-at-Heart.
850 points, ended May 2, 2007, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Hm...Little bit stream-of-councious-y, but I really like the points you raise. What is war good for? I love these lines:
"We find a way to heal
And then kill a hundred men"
It's so true. Great write, really. Thanks for sharing it with the group, and congrats on your trophy. -
wow this is taking accountablity for all. I wish humanity would take the time to think about the results of their actions. I like this poem its great!
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I really enjoyed reading this piece. I liked the use of the elements at the beginning and felt it tied in well afterwards with the sense of the poem, especially the sense of fire burning and water cooling which I felt linked with the idea highlighted later that "We find a way to heal and then kill a hundred men" because it is that same contradiction.
The entire story of the poem really touched me and I think it is something which is very applicable today.
Finally I'd just like to say sorry for taking my time in commenting on this piece, I haven't been very well but I am really hoping to judge it by the end of the week -
cool. i liked how you used the elements.
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great job! I really enjoyed reading this piece! great write!!! I Loved the background you chose! my favorite part was how you started it "Wind will blow
Fire will burn
Water will cool
And Earth will bruise" it was soooooooo good!!! excellent work and the best of luck in my contest!!!
-Steve- -
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Thank you very much for the positive feedback. I enjoy recieving reader input and criticism.
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w00t-I think I already read this one-but I didn't comment on it sooooo...You've got some amazing lines in here,-And Earth will bruise(distict, never thought of it that way)
To save ourselves from the future-but of course, the eternal question- do we want to be saved from the future? do we want to have to be destroyed by something else?
and I liked your last 3 lines-we as humans do need to find a way to protect the world from ourselves. perhaps our greatest enemy is the one we don't fight against O.o (us)
I'm feeling philosophical, good write
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this is amazing
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great gerat write
i agree with kat here on this one! its amazing! good work my man! hope tryouts went well. did our prayer work? i sure hope so.
later dane
christian -
really really good!
-shivers going up and down her spine-
wow dane. well then.... -sigh- all ican say is WOW! amazing write! i have no criticism whatsoever! rock on dude and my door is always open
kat
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