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Within A Child's Eyes

 



No light to perceive, a haunting blank stare
charades of happy though sadness declare
that inside resides a torturous dread-
a fragile youngster who frequently bled.

Night was without doubt her own private hell
And school time was spent confined in a shell.
Appalling secrets kept safely within
For no one could know her terrible sin.

Nauseating death inhabits her eyes
As all too often she became his prize.
Days spent in worry of nights that would come
which brought about hurt when daddy came home.

Innocence stolen by his evil claim
that she was to be for sexual game.
He took her for his own personal whore
And taught her that sex was hate- nothing more.

No one stopped to look deep within her eyes
For there clearly seen was hellish demise.
Ghastly endeavors all held in clear view
If one would notice her heartbreaking clue.


No light to perceive, a haunting blank stare
charades of happy though sadness declare
that inside resides a torturous dread-
a fragile youngster who frequently bled.




11-04-2006


Melissa Sanders

Author notes

I was 6 years old in that picture... someone told me once... my eyes didn't shine. In looking at that picture... I can see the clues held within my eyes... the secret I carried around with me at all times... the secret that hurt me more than anything else in the world... my dad started molesting me when I was 5.

If you work with children... read what's contained within their stare... it will tell you more than you will want to know... and if you see a child with that 'dead, blank stare'... stop, take the time to get to know that child... you might just save them from a LIFETIME of torture...

I don't like writing about my childhood... it tears me up inside to revisit the things my dad did to me... I was his sex slave... he experimented with me along with sex there was other perverted things he did... BUT if writing about it helps JUST ONE PERSON... then it's worth it...

I overcame the abuse dealt by daddy's hand... I am whole now... healing came gently and over time... if you've been abused... you can experience the same healing I possess.
Written November 4th, 2006

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1 - 25 of 25

  • ferg silver member
    May 18, 2008

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    Brutally honest

    It takes a very aware and evolved spirit to rise above this and actually put it out there. I salute you for this.

    A teacher once told me that those who hurt us the deepest have the capacity to become our greatest teachers, I believe this to be true, and your words convey this as well.

    Namaste,

    Henri

  • LIve For Today
    February 1, 2007

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    i know this pain too , i was abused at the age of 6 , till i cannot remenber , I remenber wanted to go to school and tell someone but i was too scared too ,


  • Corvidae
    January 21, 2007

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    Wonderfully expressive Write!

    You nailed every emotion in this write, Melissa. The imagery (though ghastly) was superb! I like the rhyme scheme in this piece as it flows nicely.

    I read this twice. Once as it was posted by you and once leaving out the last stanza. I found both ways were equally powerful, but I found that I saw more writing that could be done (if you chose to) for the last stanza by switching a few words around and making it similar, but different from what is posted. I'm probably not making much sense as this idea is fleeting and hard for me to grasp much less articulate, yanno?

    I really don't have much criticism to offer. This is very well written and stands on its own very well.

    Well done! I applaud you!

    ~John


    • Molassis
      January 22, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for an in-depth critique on 'Within A Child's Eyes', it is muh appreciated.

      I thought about going back and adding more, or changing the last verse but well... to be honest, I have to be in a certain frame of mind to write about my dad's abuse... and every time I go to edit this one... I can't seem to find it within... ya know what I mean?

      Anyway, critiques are always welcome on my poetry... my feelings aren't on my shoulders so anytime you want to mention something... please feel free to!!!

      ~Melissa


  • M0ofi3
    November 11, 2006
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    Great write of such a sad thing to have experience, sis. I wonder if one as yourself truly gets away from something like this. Having heard from people who were abused, sexually or otherwise, it seems many learn to see their victimization from different places as time goes on. However, there are many who never start, and are stuck in the past because of the ungodly pain such a thing causes.

    I saw that the ones who healed looked at their abusing from time to time. As they healed, or grew, they saw that experience from a different place, but it seems like they never get away from it altogether. Maybe that doesn't happen until one dies.

    But then maybe the Lord grants grace to truly move away from such a thing. Isn't He greater than any past? Only His word can reveal such things. Joseph was able to forget the abuse he received from his brothers. Is the same true for anyone who has been abused in any fashion?

    May you find the answer to this, sis. I would love that to happen to you, if it hasn't already.

    Much love,
    B
    Edited on Nov 13, 8:30 because ''.


  • pixxiepoetess
    November 11, 2006
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    It is amazing that you have been able to overcome such a harsh childhood. Your desire to help others is commendable. I am so sorry you were robbed of all of the wonders of an innocent childhood. This poem is haunting. Thanks for sharing such an emotional and personal piece. --->pixxie<---


  • Chindi Yaz
    November 9, 2006
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    This was so sad and so strong. A very powerful write. I can actually feel my heart aching over this. Nice job in the composure of this piece. Much love.
    --Rianna

  • travelingdog
    November 7, 2006
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    This is a powerful piece. Well written. Excellent choice of words. It drawss the reader in with heart wrenching emotion. It made me cry. Bravo to you for the courage to write this and bring this darkness into the light. Congratulations on a very well written, difficult poem.


  • troyias
    November 6, 2006
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    Astounding

    Melissa,

    Whatdo I say, except that you were robbed of so very many things,innocence,a child hood, opeace and above all the Total absolute love of an adoring father. I can't imagine my father,
    being anything but suportive and there for me whe I needed him.

    You my friend , have suffered way to much, and have been robbed of so much. My heart goes out to you. It is astounding that you could share this to help someone else.
    You are truly a giving and loving person.

    Go with God my child,

    Valerie Peterson Brown


  • noble1
    November 5, 2006
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    My heart is broken for what you must have endured. But I only know the strong woman of God you've become. He has indeed made beauty of ashes my dear!! I am blessed to know you as a friend but even more so as a sister! You are loved, even from so many miles away! Can't wait to share all of eternity with you and many others who have claimed Jesus as their Savior and Lord! Much love and hugs, Noble1


  • heismysong
    November 5, 2006
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    Wow... I really know what to say... except that I'll be sure to keep my own eyes open more at school.

    Have you ever read the book "Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry", by Lisa Bevere? It's about reclaiming sexual purity. This poem reminded me a little of that book.

    I knew a girl in college that was molested by her own brother... If I knew then what I know now...

    I think this poem will help others- I'm thankful you wrote this. You have a perspective on this (- though I know it was not a wanted one-) that can open the eyes of an indifferent world.

    May God continue to speak peace and cleanliness to your heart-

    Natalie


  • Frogzter gold member
    November 5, 2006
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    Melissa, this truly breaks my heart into little bitty pieces for I too have been there and I know the horrible and heartwrenching pain that never leaves our souls that have slowly decayed over the years by being abused by the hand that is supposed to love and protect us. However, sharing this is going to help ease someone else's pain and suffering and it needs to be read. I thank you for being brave enough to confront these issues that others might see they are not alone.
    I love ya my dearest friend and sister... This makes my heart bleed right along with you. From my heart to yours!
    Much love and many hugz,
    Sandy~


  • ShelleyA gold member
    November 5, 2006
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    O dearest sister. Such a heartrending piece. The pain and suffering that you had to endure and the stripping away of your childhood by someone who should have been your protector. This is something I know that stays hidden deep inside. I know these memories aren't easy, but I trust in God and know you do as well; He soothes your pain and tears and heals your wounded soul. I know your testimony will be of help to those who have suffered this kind of abuse. May God hold you tenderly in His loving arms. Shelley


  • Playful Angel
    November 5, 2006
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    A very heartfelt and personal write you have here. This piece was well written, and i could feel your pain through out the piece. I work with children myself, and i have seen my fair share of children with that 'dead, blank stare', as you called it - it breaks my heart knowing what they have been through, but i know that with the right people / new family etc, they will get through and myself and other people will be there for them, to make sure they experince the 'healing' just like yourself. I hope life is much brighter for you now. you have a talent, keep up the great work. good luck in the contest


  • Resurrected-heart
    November 4, 2006
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    Well written but heart breaking. You are to be commended for your courage in sharing your life in the hope of helping others. Your selflessness is amazing.
    God bless you
    RH


  • pattyann4500
    November 4, 2006
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    I have a picture much like this when I was only four. It started at three. I feel so much of this, but I was fortunate that it was not my father, but other family members.

    I went through my days at school praying the night wouldn't come, but they always did. Your story is one that people need to read. Mine has been on this site a few times as well, because I know others can learn to heal from my story. You have touched someone, Melissa. God bless you for that. Love, Patricia


  • kirbysman Moderators member
    November 4, 2006
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    This just sends shivers through me when I read it, Melissa. Just can't imagine it and my heart goes out to you -again.

    Paul


  • SoulJourney
    November 4, 2006
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    Strong poem, and it did a great job of letting us feel a bit of what you went through. Loved the picture too. Hugs to you and your courage, and bless you for wanting to help others. I think your story just might be an inspiration for someone who feels hopeless. Love, Charlynn


  • Theater Of Dreams
    November 4, 2006
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    Survivor tale...

    Another brave and courageous write Melissa, about circumstance no fault of ANY innocent- yet widespread it is.

    The message IS clear, and you are right...if it helps just one...

    God bless you.

    -James.

  • TerryColvin
    November 4, 2006
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    This is some heavy stuff WOW. Fantastic write.


  • Sgt B
    November 4, 2006
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    Honey all I can say is I'm so sorry for your past.

    For no one could know her terrible sin.

    There is absolutly NO "sin" on you for this. Nothing to be forgiven for. The sin rest solely on the ones who commettd them & those who knew & didn't do anything. Not on the innocent 5 year old who should know nothing but love & happiness. My heart aches terribly after reading the emotional read. I wish I could hold you & say it will be alright. But with Christ you will persivere. ~Ron~

    Edited on Nov 04, 2:57 p.m. because ''.


  • Amarillistarshot silver member
    November 4, 2006
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    heart-wrenching

    I'm amazed at your courage. Being able to write about something like that must be close to impossible, but you also did it well. I thank you for the words of caution, and the advice. I thank you for your bravery, and I sorrow for your suffering. It's a very good poem.


  • Elfin
    November 4, 2006
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    From one to another God bless you.

  • OurxBeginning
    November 4, 2006
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    Wow..this is so good and I'm sorry you had to go through this. The eyes say a lot about a person. A lot of emotion is in this and you did well with this piece. Well done and keep it up.

    ~ ~


  • Puppydog gold member
    November 4, 2006
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    SO BRAVE

    So brave So sincerely from your memories and your heart.

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