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I Once Was Beautiful

I was once beautiful
Many Years Ago
When I had a smile on my face
And there was love in my heart
No matter what people said
I was able to believe in myself

I was once beautiful
But I've fallen below
Into the hole of depression
Now I drape myself in garments
Of dark vinyl,leather and velvet
Desperately grasping for any hope

I was once beautiful
With Happiness leading my life
My eyes would sparkle with delight
When I breathed  fresh,clean air
And I'd leave empty dplatess
Those many years ago

I was once beautiful
Before all of the black
Or so I've been told
That I'm too dark for my own good
My prettiness is buried in a grave
Along with all of my self respect

I was once beautiful
I retained unmarked or untainted skin
Almost pale enough to be porcelain
It was lighted with a glow
A beautiful doll's reflection
A future model for the runway

I was once beautiful
But now I'm just skin and bones
A full, almost untouched plate I leave
Starvation, I'm not able to find strength to eat
I live in the shadows, a hideous monster
An hopes of utterly disappearing

I was once beautiful
Before I picked up a knife
And sliced apart my skin
Scarring my body forever
Now I must hide my features
Behind a cloak and masks of black

I was once beautiful
But now I only see ugliness
Through dull and dying eyes

I was once beautiful
But I've burnt my body
And I've sliced my skin

I was once beautiful
But now I hide in shadows
And I shun any spotlight

I was once beautiful
Before I took anger out on myself
Because now I can't see clear, any longer

I was once beautiful
Before I destroyed my face
Stained from crying to many tears

I was once beautiful
My innocent times prove this
But my childhood was stolen from me

I was once beautiful
That many years ago
Now I wonder, what has happened?
What has changed me so?
Only I will know!

Author notes


Written November 4th, 2006

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Comments


  • xXxThat GurlxXx
    November 7, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    missimorticia~
    Hey! First off I would like to thank you for your comment on my poem "False Life". I thought that this was a nice write...Keep on writing I hope to stumble across some more of your writes soon.
    ~!~Manda~!~


  • Redline
    November 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is an excellent poem...I like the way in which you repeated the "I once was beautiful" to emphasize the speakers feeling of loss beauty - that it is a large issue for the speaker... I also like the extremely depressed tone of the poem...it is very characteristic of the mood of people who suffer from depression...and also it emphasizes that people don't feel good about themselves...and even start to look older and not that pretty when they feel depressed. Then the last line...even though the speaker speaks as if she is the only one who knows the reason for these feelings - it is pretty obvious why she is feeling this way - her childhood stolen from her...
    So I think this poem is an accurate description of what somebody would feel if they were subjected to trauma as children...in the form of verbal, physical or sexual abuse...
    On this note I would like to say that somebody who suffered abuse can claim their lives back...and the luster and happiness can return. It does not happen over night...but it can happen...I know from personal experience. And you can find that inner beauty again and start to love yourself again...and then even when you are old...you will still be beautiful.