after living our life
but we'll make it through
the night
Angels may die
after seeing us cry
and were still living proof
of the fight
Tides will subside
even after all we've lied
and we still make it though the dark
and the light
And even a devil may cry
when they see the look in our eye
after seeing how we apologize
and reunite
Author notes
option seven
Xxryzrblde-angelxX
A Beautiful Lie(30 seconds to mars)
its short but its nice right???
Written November 3rd, 2006
Rewritten March 6th, 2008
A contest entry
- Options Contest by Simply Simple.
1000 points, ended June 7, 2008, 83 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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some
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woaah. I like this. Very powerful. Amazing subject. Been awhile since i've said hello or commented..so here i am :]
xoxo
pixie -
This is good. I like the style.
The ending is my favorite part!
Good luck in the contest -
very creative!
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i like the thoughts that this poem evokes. it makes you think about life and death in a more abstract way. not 100% sure on the flow but still a very nive poem
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whats wrong with it, i cant seem to get this poem how i want it
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i dont mean it offensively i really like it. the first 2 and a half stanzas are fine but then the length and syllables change and it could just be that they disrupt the flow slightly. what did u think?
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well i didnt write it with a sylable form, i wasnt paying any attention to sylables accualy
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I like the simplicity of this piece, it flows well and has a nice rhyme to it. Interesting thoughts with a creative outcome. Superbly penned
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I loved this. Short was perfectly penned. ^.^ Thank you soooooo much for then entry. And yay! Another person knew the song. Rock on! ^.^


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OOooo, kinda quick but nice. I like the idea behind it. Like the flow.

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penman said that.ok, thanks 4 another great coment, your the best
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It made me think
I could not make out the name of the reader who said the poem was simple, but I understood what he/she was trying to say. The word that came to my mind was basic. You took a basic format and added a gentel rhyme and you hit the reader with a heavy subject. Youe imagery was crisp and unuseual. Devils crying and Angles dying. Good job -
mature my self, i dont need to
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so your calling my poetry a waist now??
i dont care if you critice my poem but if i see a mistak ill fix it, you dont have to get all fancy with your dumn ass terms, "its in the third stanza"
i dont care if you are smart leve your comment and move on -
and how would i know your in a bad mood mature yourself please.... bad mood or not then don't leave your poetry out then....
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If you don't need a lesson on your poetry then whats the point you waist your poem on ALLPOETRY. DO you know what contructive critism is? well.... its something you give to the poet to help them get better since that's our purpose as a poet but if it isn't yours then bye you wannab
Edited on Nov 06, 5:25 p.m. because ''. -
look i dont need a leson on my poetry, it looks fine to me so back off, as you can see im not in the best mood so im sorry.
thanks 4 the comment -
at the third stanza it should be "may" instead of "my". The beat was good though yet sometimes it kinda went off just like in that same stanza at the second line and forth you should tell by the length how the line is rather long. Also it should be may before "may" at the last line in the first stanza
This poem was cute how the message was evreybody well cry but well make it through. Maybe ome orginal metahors would be nice for this peice.
Yet this peice was orginal in a way. Keep writing. Well worth it.
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ow, ok, well then thnk you, i apresiat it, not many peple have read this on yet
thank you -
I meant it as a compliment. I was trying to say you used a simple form, but it had great depth. It is a credit to your skill as a writer. At least in my opinion.
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what do you mean it was simple
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Excellent
This was so simple, yet profound. It has such a depth and power. -
you found me, how did you now my name, who are yu
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awesome
aha! okay, 1. I found you, mike. and 2. That was awesome. =^.^=











