All covered in neon
All sweaty and red
I came back from the party
To lie on my bed
Memorizing hypnotic beats
Still lingering and thumbing
I can’t believe this night
Of grinding and bumping
Sitting in a gaze
My head starts to pound
My ears are all blown
I can’t hear a sound
Room still spinning
A reach for my water
Just need a sip
But my body is getting hotter
Flashing lights all around
Red, white, and blue
I guess my bed was a dream
I just never knew
I see the DJ now
I ask for a song
The music comes on
She didn’t take very long
I dance for awhile
And I take a look around
But abruptly it’s all new
Now there isn’t a sound
I jump up in fear
But I feel a sharp pain
It’s all over my body
I must be going insane
A loud scream for help
A woman rushing in
I fall to the ground
I am sorry for my sin
Two years later
Paralyzed from the neck an lower
Who knew I overdosed
and my life will now be slower
If this was a sin
Than I was his sinner
All beaten and bloody
Ecstasy was the winner
Author notes
RAVE RAVE RAVE... than you die
Written November 3rd, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Wow
I liked how you made it sound like a bunch of fun to start with then it just all went down hill from there. I enjoyed this write good job.
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MY GOD, this makes me wanna vomit. talk about the opitomy of teenage angst and emo whining. damn kids and your drugs. I LOOOOOOVVVEE YOU AMANNNNDAHHH. im gonna regret this.... dont kill me
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Very well written piece I loved the subject I thought it was a very unqiue topic to write about. You did a good job of getting your emotions out on this one I loved the lines:
Memorizing hypnotic beats
Still lingering and thumbing
I can’t believe this night
Of grinding and bumping
Sitting in a gaze
My head starts to pound
My ears are all blown
I can’t hear a sound
Room still spinning
A reach for my water
Just need a sip
But my body is getting hotter
Flashing lights all around
Red, white, and blue
I guess my bed was a dream
I just never knew
I see the DJ now
I ask for a song
The music comes on
She didn’t take very long
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These where very good lines and it caught my atttention and very good opening lines to the poem as well. Basically the entire poem. Held, grabbed and took my attention. Excellent Write!!!!!!!!
--Trixie
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good poem although you lost the flow towards the end. A good subject too. everyone should be made aware of the dangers of these so called social drugs
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One can't tell what's in their future. Wrong choices change lives, and not just your own. This is a tragic situation and one wishes they could make this one turn out differently. Easy to read and understand.
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oh WOW!!! gave me chills, very touching. It does make a person think... Great write...
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This is so very sad! And very emotional. Excellent write. It most certianly made me think. Being in college I heart about these sorts of things happening a lot. It isn't pretty. Amazing write once again. Keep up the good work I look forward to reading more. ~!*!~Heather~!*!~
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