My Dearest Despair

My Dearest Despair,

I saw you in the hallway today
You don't look the same anymore
With the way you made me feel
But that was just before
Since you did what you did
I have been called a whore
And that is not the worst
With every word, I sink deeper
People just don't know what they do to me
That day when we stood outside
Like we did every day before
I guess you thought it would be okay
To take our relationship
And turn it into something more
That day, that horrible day
It was extremely cold
You, being the guy that you are,
Decide to "warm me up"
When I feel you against me
I feel perfectly fine
But then I felt something
Your cold hand
Going further and further
I nudged you in your stomach to stop
You didn't
You kept reaching
Further
Further
There was no stopping you now
I felt your cold fingers touch me
Where no one had touched me before
I smacked you in the head with my jacket
But that wasn't enough
I knew that you would never stop
I stayed around for a little while
But things just weren't the same
Little did I know that things would never change
So here I am
Two years later
Still thinking of what you did
Thinking of how stupid I am for dragging it out like this
And how I cry myself to sleep at night over something that small
You took something I will never get back
And I will forever hate you for that
So will the other 20+ girls you did it to at school
And the 1 girl you raped
I am glad you moved away
I hope you never return
Because if you do
There will be a whole LOAD of hate waiting on you
My friends
My family
We all would love nothing better
Than for you to stay where you are
So please
Get out of my head
Get out of my dreams
Get out of my tears
They will forever fall
Until my memory of you falls with them

Delana