Ever seen the future right out in front of you, and never wanted anything to do with it?
When life becomes transitory, and has lost all of its glory.
When the pain just becomes one sequel after the next.
And all my existence is filled with drugs, alcohol and sex.
Taking risks not caring of the outcome.
Running from life, daring not to be outdone.
When courage is no longer a symbol for the courageous.
And when death becomes evidence, when your life no longer seems conscious.
When the scars no longer heal, and the stars no longer sing.
Love no longer has its external glow, its just an exponential fling.
Deep deep down inside of this fiction of life
I dwell on the line of death and strife.
Sitting on my back porch pondering life.
Tucked by my side, is the cold steel surrendering to my knife.
When all morals and cares are put aside
And the feelings of emptiness surround the thoughts of suicide.
When crying no longer helps the pain from rising again.
And the blaring music shaking your thoughts between life and death is your only friend.
No more smiles cross that vivid face of yours
When death is perspiring from every one of your pores.
No washing your hands of the past, present and future.
When the only escape seems to be a nonessential murder.
The screaming never suffices to drown the need for attention.
Because life is only a dissatisfaction, forgetting to mention.
When bleeding becomes a loss of memory
And the haunting sounds of laughter dispose anger inside of me.
And the only good feeling inside to feel
Is the thought of everyone crying for you, talking about your death being a big deal.
Everyone finally seeing the truth behind the situation.
No more built up frustration.
And the funeral will shine as the greatest point of life itself.
No more pity no more loss of personal wealth.
No greater solution, no greater answer.
only my lungs filled with pollution, dying, life being my cancer.
So please remember me as you wish
Because that's how I want my life to be, no more hopes of being lavish.
Remember the talks, and countless comments of expression
Into the fire I walk, drowning in a pool of depression.
Author notes
Yeah, makes sense.
Written November 1st, 2006
A contest entry
- To Give Up... by Blood Slurpie.
300 points, ended December 11, 2006, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Life Sucks (rounds contest) by SoftlyScreaming.
600 points, ended July 12, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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you didnt follow the rules- i liked it.. but i cant do anything with this until you follow the rules.. i mean, this is agreat poem, it has a lot of story behind it , a lot of passion, and a lot of emotion.. you are talented, whomever you are
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Such Pain
Ben my friend I wish I could just reach out to you and hold you in my arms, and tell you how much I care. There is so much wonder in YOU, such a very special child of God. Do not take the lies of the enemy as truth. You my friend know the truth and you know where to turn. You know where I am If you need me. If you need to talk I'll send my phone # to you. The pain I feel from this poem tears at my very soul. My prayers go up for you. Know that I am here for you, as a mother, friend, holy sister, what ever you need
Go with God my child,
Valerie
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fantastic !!!
"Tucked by my side, is the cold steel surrendering to my knife.
When all morals and cares are put aside
And the feelings of emptiness surround the thoughts of suicide"
Very strong and descriptive words here dear brother of mine; I'll be flat out honest and admit, I was damn crying my eyes out reading this...struck a chord with me.. speically your last line ...
Never give up writing Ben, you have such a talent; you express your words so damn well you give the reader a vicarious effect ...
Sheer brillance !
I am in awe and I am jealous of your talent but more so than that...I am proud of you...so damn proud !!!
You know, like James I am a good listener and if you ever need me, I am here ...
Stay safe brother
Much love to you
~Amanda
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